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BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - I'm fairly certain there are at least a couple of BDSM groups here. Have you tried searching in groups? Not sure why you think those interested in this type of play would necessarily want to keep it private. These days (especially with the whole "Fifty Shades" phenomena) it's practically main stream. But yes there are outside groups...many call it the "Kink Community" who pretty much do this type of play exclusively and aren't necessarily swingers. In all actuality swinging is becoming fairly watered down these days with all the different groups (I'm thinking of polys as well as many other fetishes and play styles) wanting to be included under the big umbrella of swinging. It's a wonder anyone really ends up hooking up these days. LOL
Fun places you have had sex.. in public. - - my own bed because this damn swingers are always using our house as a damn frat house on most weekends
Mormon Swingers - - We are exmo's! I've only come across 1 person here that is an active mormon church goer.
Exotic Dreams Resort and Hotel in Palm Spring - - [quote=TRIZZLE]My wife and I are just exploring the idea of engaging in the lifestyle but haven't quite yet. Would a resort like this be a good place to "watch from a distance" amd maybe meet and chat with others in a similar situation?[/quote]
You can absolutely go to a resort and "watch". When we went to Hedo we were shocked at how many total newbies were there (outnumbered the seasoned swingers 2 to 1...but that could have been an anomaly for all we know). But we also saw more than a few inexperienced couples who caused some drama because they got there, got all hot and bothered, and weren't ready for the consequences (and weren't on the same page as far as the "what if's" of jumping into the lifestyle). YMMV
Are you still interested! - Dynamics amoung swingers - Two comments I am going to try to keep short.
First.. there are the couples we see somewhat regularly, we enjoy the more intimate moments with them, but we need to take a break every so often and just be friends. We are glad they understand that. When we are ready to get back into the bedsheets with them, its much more meaningful and fun. We respect them when they feel the need to become vertical friends for a while and not horizontal. So its not always a loss of interest, just a temporary change of scenery or personal events in our life... (Then again, some people do have issues that change their attitude towards lifestyles altogether.. and you have to respect their needs when they become just vanilla).
Second. Old topic, but similar in nature to this string.
Whatever happened to plain old honesty? Its a frustrating experiences to chat over a period of time, feel a friendship is developing, finally meet and spend a great eveing together... talk about getting together again soon only to be continually stood up or given a rash of excuses. I think everyone understands that finding a good match with another couple comes with several disappointments. Its so much easier to accept when you are told straight out that its not going to work out, rather than being lead on and on with the premise that there is something developing. Common courtesy goes along way and commands respect. Even after a relationship that may have developed for extended periods of time, why not be truthful and let the other party know when the interest is dying or gone? Or when its just a social relationship you are comfortable with.. why not be honest? There are some great friendships that can be made here that dont require sex.
It happens to all of us.. think about how you want to be treated when you are on the recieving end.
HUGS... Cyn, (and him)
Member Since - How long have you been on? - Swingers since 2006 swingular since sept 2007....The Tarts:p
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - I'm a FORD guy!
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - ok so what would you classify someone who was considered a swinger by some for 10 years but now that im single does that revoke my swingers card because i am no longer married?....just trying to figure out where all of us that fit into this category falls into for all of you that choose to define someone
single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Swingers gone bad?? - -
XPLOR,
MORALITY is irrelevant. Statutory law is what reigns supreme. If they are breaking the law, then they should accept the consequences. Many European countries allow 14 year olds the right to consent to sex and marriage at 16. These decisions were made by the majority of the people in the country. Here the age of consent varies from state to state in regard to consent with other minors and 18 for most with regard to adults. Whether you are male or female, the law applies. If it is illegal to consent before 18, then it is illegal, regardless of your dogma.
I seem to recall seeing a story on television about a russian (I think that was the nationality) couple that immigrated here with their two children. The country (eludes my recollection), they were from it is customary for parents to "pat" the gentinal area of the child as a means of reassurance or some such bullshit. According to the story it was a non-sexual gesture and a common custom in their country. The father was seen at a local school sporting event do this to the daughter, by another child's parent, and the man and his wife had their children taken away. This is a perfect example of what I mean. While to them, the contact was liken to a football player smackin another player on the ass as a way of saying "good game", it is not tolerated as such here. Anyway, I can't remember all of the details, but you can see what I mean. If 18 is the age of consent, 18 is the fuckin age. Laws and customs of the land are what matter. When in Rome....
-Don-
"Sic vis pacem, para bellum"
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