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Hall pass - - InvestigatingKink, it looks like we have been in the LS (lifestyle) about the same time, less than a year. Everyone has different needs and weaknesses in their marriage, and I certainly don't judge what other people do, at least not ethically. We were at a party just last night and talking to several couples who have been in the LS for a lot of years. We were discussing this very subject. They all had stories of people who started playing separately and most of those couples are now divorced. Their belief is that it is often very difficult on marriages and definitely not for the majority of swingers. Now all of you hall pass and open marriage people, don't get freaky on me. This is just speculation on my part and opinion of those I talk to. There are many I'm sure it works great for.
I believe the LS can be seriously hard on your marriage if you are not in prime shape. We ourselves have had struggles just doing what we do (as I think everyone has had at some point) so to add more uncertainty to the situation would be tough. Also, to us (again, not judging) this is about a journey we are taking together. I like to watch her interact with people and be flirted with and she enjoys the same. If we were not together it feels as if we have moved on to something different. But we are probably rare. Our name alone, SameRoomOnly, should give you and idea of our ideals. I know this is going to sound crazy, but we aren't in the LS just to fuck a bunch of people. We truly enjoy the fun people, making friends and experiencing new things together.
An analogy could be made to travel. We both love to travel. But if we started taking separate vacations all of the time, it wouldn't be as enjoyable. Hawaii is wonderful if I am there alone, but if she is with me, it makes the experience so much better. I want her to share in my experiences.
Last thing is that we communicate together, almost always. It isn't that we are jealous of what a person says to either on of us, but we like to know what is being said, as a team. It keeps us honest and open and prevents us from having to recap any conversations. We trust each other completely, but we also realize that anyone can mess up and by putting yourself in a situation that could potentiate cheating or dishonesty doesn't seem wise to us. I'm sure some of you will want to interject and say "well, you two must not trust each other. We never worry about things like that. We love each other too much." Maybe so. But our opinion is that when you start to spend alone time with another person, talking freely about whatever the subject may be and are fucking that person, well...it seems dangerous. It's just like when I am at work. If a girl flirts with me or gets too close, I make sure to tell my wife and keep her updated and I also try to distance myself from that person. Not that I plan on cheating, but we are all human and have weaknesses. And by always being honest and open it helps to keep our marriage strong.
So, maybe the truth is that we are just not secure enough in our relationship to do something like hall passes or an open marriage, or maybe the truth is that everyone who tries it will fail miserably and end up divorced. It probably is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, as most things are. Few things are black or white. But we wouldn't entertain the idea of a consistent hall pass. Maybe once, or twice, just to experience it, but an ongoing thing, no way.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Mr. SameRoomOnly
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - Then we are fake! We are only verified as real..... Maybe we missed a punctuation mark. Fitting to most that the squawkers are the ones that never go to parties or events and never tend to mingle with the Real peeps. Oh well, comment away
Age quesiton - Do swingers of the same age group swing together? - We agree that attitude it more important than age. We swing with older and younger, and they all have been great experiences. We hope to keep meeting great people no matter what the age.
Vegas: Swingers circle or couples oasis? - Which do I prefer - are you saying this from experience?
Swingers gone bad?? - - Ummmmm.....That CAN'T be good.......
Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - Btw, we even have a name for couples like that. We call them "swirls" (not entirely vanilla and not entirely swingers...). [em]Emo_12[/em]
Free Poker in Tampa Bay! - - For any that are interested, we are members in a free Texas Holdem poker league in the Tampa Bay area. If interested, please check out www.treasurechestpoker.com.
We go at least three times a week, and would love to meet some of our fellow swingers there!
Ron & Chrissy
Question about Spice Party tonight - - Okay, this probably sounds stupid, but we haven't ever been to a party yet! On the RSVP, do we put our screen name, or our real names on the guest list?
TIA from some clueless swingers. Hehehe
Jewellery, logos, etc to identify other swingers - We would like info on websites catering to discreet items to let others "know" we are in the lifestyle - How about instead of identifying other Swingers with objects just do a little flirting with other couples when out... they bite or they don't... but definately more fun.
just a thought.
:z
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=CHEFFETTE]That would be a brilliant way to make a bunch of quick cash off the oldsters, promise they'd be surrounded by nubile youngsters, then shrug your shoulders when it's mostly a wrinkle-palooza of 60-something men who'd have to admit they lied their way in.[/quote]
I think you just described the business model of every swinger-club in Vegas. =)
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