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BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! - - Merry Christmas to all on the State-side! (we hail from Ogden, normally) We've met a lot of awesome swingers in Utah and hope to meet even more in the future when we return. XOXO!
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - At the risk of being "further" outside the "norm" for swingers. I think knowing a person you are planning or wanting to have sex with is critical, for a number of reasons that are important to me and my partner. They are health, psychological compatibility, physical compatibility and chemistry or attraction.
At least 2 of the above require some level of emotional attachment. At least in our case. We like the emotional attachment and feeling connected with the other couple. In fact meeting for just sex alone seems repulsive. Well, in most cases. LOL I doubt the above is poly; but I'm not sure what is, unless it is polyandry or polygamy.
Different strokes [sic] for different folks.
Jerome and Vickie
Reject Affair Match - Cheaters are not swingers - What are you guys talking about? What is Affair Match?
Can a Hotwife also be a Unicorn? - - Well, I met a woman whose husband doesn’t mind that she plays with me and has a naughty GF. She has a hall pass to play with just me or both of us. They really aren’t swingers, so I guess she’s a hotwife of sorts, and for us she’s a Unicorn 🦄
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - There is also the part about the needs of some to explore life to its fullest and in some cases it is held back by the desire to stay faithful to your partner. Swinging opens that avenue up and takes away the need to cheat on your spouse. In some cases it is amazing to watch your spouse be pleased by someone whether you are taking part or not. Watching my wife be pleased by another guy was an amazing experience and wouldn't give that up for nothing. Not sure that is news worthy!
Cute pic - what are they looking at? - [quote=T4REAL69]Mr. Potatoe Head looks like he's walking to get a closer look...pervert...I like him....lol
