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Is it a “preference” or is it “ discrimination” - - [quote=DANDTCURIOUS][quote=EVILDOERS]Discrimination can be against non-physical attributes as well (Political and religious are the two most obvious nowadays.) But I would call almost everything else a preference, at least as far as swinging is concerned.
One of the biggest hurdles we found when we first entered the lifestyle was people who were upset that, for whatever reason, we didn't want to fuck them. Their mindset was, "We're swingers and you're swingers so what's the problem? Let's fuck!" We did, eventually, come to the realization that in some instances our first impression, based on looks or whatever, could be overcome, in time, by getting to know people better and eventually finding a different kind of attractiveness that trumped simple physical attraction. YMMV[/quote]
Oh of course discrimination can be against non-physical ... my question was can a non-physical attribute be just a preference and not be discrimination .. it sounds like you think so ... other than maybe with political or religious?
Hmmm so let’s say someone keenly despises Trump, or Bernie (not that anyone does lol) .... like really can’t stand them. And someone crazy hot that LOVEs Trump, like wears a red MAGA hat loves, wants to hook up ... Could the political disposition “preference” still be only a preference, and not discrimination, if it gets in the way of any possible sexual attraction ?[/quote]
Holy shit! You mean it messes me up when I wear my MAGA hat in sexual situations (Though I prefer a more discriminatory MAGA hat "Make Adam God Again" The Mormon Vatican peeps will understand that one)? I thought everyone got turned on by Trump. Ask him... He will tell you. He is the best at ______. 🤣 i freaking loved your example by the way, hilarious and good point. Great example, totally got the visual! 🤣🤣🤣
Newbie "outdoorsy" couple interested in the softer side. - Wish to develop a friendship with another couple in S ID, N UT - [quote=Canvas][quote=LILMISSRIDINGHOOD]There are couples and singles in the lifestyle, who have been in the lifestyle for a while, who also like to take things slow. Some don't want to just jump into bed, but they are aware of the many ins and outs of the lifestyle. I've been in the LS for years, but prefer to make friends, first, then decide if I want to go further if they, too, want to go further.
If you want a friendship with no sexual strings attached, I suggest you look for others who feel the same. Narrowing your search down to just newbies, or suggesting that's what you're looking for, limits your options. You might consider meeting people with the precondition that you don't swap, but you may reconsider at a later date. [/quote]
Thanks for your input. It is appreciated! Our thinking with looking for newbies was that we could all be nervous together and learn together. However, it's not like we know our way around these waters. All this has actually been very humbling to me (male half). I'm used to diving into things and doing well from the start. Here though.... it all feels so foreign, intimidating. Maybe it's due to my wife and I marrying right out of HS. We dated others in HS but that was so long ago with entirely different maturity levels.
At any rate, your point is well taken. We welcome any advice and constructive criticism we can get. Thanks again! [/quote]
What, specifically, feels intimidating? Or perhaps a better question would be what do you fear? Are you afraid that one of you will fall in love with a playmate and leave the marriage? Or that one or both of you will like swinging too much and become big ole sluts? LOL Or maybe you're afraid of contracting a horrific sexually transmitted disease and your junk will fall off? *grin*
Most of us are TERRIBLY bad at risk assessment and more often than not we fear things that are statistically FAR less likely to happen than things we don't seem to fear all that much. Some people won't fly in planes even though they are FAR less likely to die in a plane crash than driving their car to Walmart. And many swingers are deathly afraid of getting AIDS even though it's really quite hard to contract compared to, say, HSV, which most adults have actually already been exposed to. Identifying why you're intimidated might be a better use of your time than trying to find a needle in a haystack.
But in the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If you think finding another newbie couple is the least intimidating way to dip your toes in then, by all means, do that. Those of us who have been around the scene for a while, however, could tell you some of the drawbacks to meeting people who are newbies.
Personally, we would seek out a more experienced couple, albeit one who is NOT pushy and is willing to go at your pace and is looking for friendship more than sex. The reason I say that is if things DO turn sexual, a more experienced couple is less likely to freak out or have other issues that they haven't already dealt with. Either way, good luck.
Meeting a Monogamous Couple - How many monogamous swingers are there? - Though we do enjoy talking with many and do exchange emails and truly would like to meet others we have pretty much been wiht just one other couple for 2 years now. I am not sure how it happened it just has. WE do think about being with others however. I guessit is more on the part of the F in the other couple. she is afraid of getting something that you cant just wash off. NO WHAT I MEAN.
It just happened to be this way. We have met several others that too keep with just one other couple. We have thuoght about expanding our little group too 1 more couple one day at least.
US
New and Old Friends ;) - A quick intro - Hi Sexy Friends!
Some of you may know me, some may not. It's been a hot minute since I've used this website since we've had a long time party group that knows how to find me outside of here. But I figured maybe it was time to invite some new comers. ;)
I've been hosting local events for 8 years. Everything from private, to public to house parties. We bring in DJs, Vegas style performers, catered snacks, tons of sexy friends, often times costume themes, and completely transform our venues. These aren't just simple throw it together parties. They are full blown events.
We attract sexy, fun, open minded people from a variety of lifestyles (swingers, poly, etc) so you have the opportunity to meet likeminded accepting friends and maybe more if you so desire.
Our next event is A Night on the Naughty List (our 6th annual) and it is planned to be a sexy Masquerade Ball!
Feel free to send me a friend request and message if you want in on the exclusive invite list!
Hope to hear from you soon!
-Erika Ashley
Symbol Question - -
WEFLY,
Not a guru, just takin a guess. Amy could be correct in that it maybe referencing swingers. LOL. I was going for the literal approach.
-Don-
Proud member of
Memorial Day Weekend - Las Vegas Anyone? - Long weekend -- Let's make the most of it! - We are planning on going to Vegas for the Memorial Day weekend. We're looking to sun, fun, water (pool or otherwise), and play!
1. Which hotel do you recommend for partying and/or meeting swingers?
2. Who else is going or interested in meeting there?
3. Or...would you recommend on making the trip to Lake Havasu?
Ideas, thoughts, invitations, and fun ideas welcome! We have Fri to Mon off and want to make the most of it.
(Evildoers --- we will be deeply disappointed if you don't have something amusing or funny to say....please add your 2, er, 25 cents!) :)
Thank you all for your input and ideas. (So many fun and good people here!)
[em]Emo_16[/em]
whos your Fantasy girl on swinguler - Tell us who & why and what you would like to do with her - Well being that I have actually met this couple in person, and find them to be the *HOTTIECOUPLE* they claim to be, I choose her.
She is TALL with a HARD body and what a great smile, plus she has a sense of humor.
Here is the 2004 swingers talk awards and I'm getting a gaggift, as I had double hernia
surgery on Monday and went to the awards on Friday.
Church Swingers, are they out there? - - I myself, believe that things such as religion (or spiritualality if you prefer) and sexuallity are a personal thing. I think the comments made by SHRED sum it up rather nicely. Having studied religion for 12 years in the catholic school system it seems that most of the organized religions I have any knowledge of, have lost the real point made in the New Testament anyway. It seems often that what is being preached is not what is being practiced or in some cases things have been taken out of context to stress some point of faith or morallity in a distorted way. I personally can not believe that God would want us to live our lives this way. I have to agree with those who say "live and let live" or "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". That seems to be the message I got out of all that religious instruction, but not necessarily what I saw being practiced.
To those who feel they can balance religious practice with this lifestyle, I would say do so if it works for you. It is your personal choice. and thats the way it should be.
Enough about religion from me,
Mr. Lusty
Church Swingers, are they out there? - - Based on interaction with quite a few people at clubs and on the internet, I believe that people tend to keep their religious beliefs and their temporal lives separate, for the most part. Swinging is not part of their religion and religion is not part of their swinging lifestyle. The Japaneese say that they compartmentalize different things in their lives... I think to some extent we all do that as well. We don't bring our work lives into our homes. We don't bring our sex lives to the dinner table. So religion and swinging are no real difference... They may seem incompatable but if kept separate there might be no conflict. As for looking for a church where one can find swingers...... You probably are sitting next to a family who swings in your pew or the pew in front of you... Swingers are just people who have made a choice to enjoy sex with people who they are not married to or partnered with... So I would be interested as to how someone would introduce themselves to someone at church to find out if that couple swings.... I would think that meeting people who swing at other venues would be the ticket and then seeing if it is extended into their church.... Networking is the best way to meet people and ultimately finding those who are church goers...
In need of advice - sexual - OK there is shit missing here, your on this site asking for advice but not a swinger, your wife does not know about it and if she did would probably give you less than you get now, all you keep saying is me me me. Where is the I give her flowers, take her to dinner, tell her how sexy she looks, you have not said one positive thing about her on this thread, do you see a pattern here.
Sorry I'm not biting on this one, if you gave a shit about your marriage she would be here with you. There is no reason for you here looking for advice without her. In my eyes what you are doing is a form of cheating. Your talking about the most sacred part of a marriage with complete strangers who's morals you haven't begun to understand. Any shrink would tell you we don't know what the hell we are talking about.
My advice is you get your ass up off the pity pot and take a real hard look at what you have done to spark some passion into your relationship besides laying there expecting her to come around to your way of thinking, A good fuck nasty or intimate takes 2 who are willing to please each other swingers or not.
Show some real balls and bring your wife here so she can air your dirty laundry. I will bet my next fuck that her opinion is nothing like yours.
