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Couples Copulating - How the hell do ya match up? - It is the same for probably 85% of us hun. 4 years in the lifestyle and we are still looking for the perfect match up for all 4. Yes, it does happen, but it is not easy to find the right couple and them feel the same way. WAY more times than not, someone is taking one for the team. We have a rule against that, but I am here to tell you that everyone sees something different in everyone.. Very many people get a bit upset when half of the party is very interested and the other half is not. Example: I find a woman at a party very interesting and sexy and she feels the same about me. Well, chances are that my wife or her hubby is not interested. Well, we have been down this road so many times that we just changed our rules to = "OK, have a good time". This sometimes still does not work as the other couple is still in the (COUPLES ONLY) mode... When it hits right and everyone has a great time it makes all the waiting worth it, but until someone lowers their standards you will be part of the 85%.. The other 15% are made up of: We play separately. Everything DOES gel. Hard core swingers and ok, take one for the team.
The hardest part is when someone in the "said 4-sum" is not going there and sometimes people feel hurt. What everyone needs to remember is that we DO THIS FOR FUN and we are NOT all exactly what everyone else wants. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL...... Remember it's all about fun and excitement. If something doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT!!!! Just keep on having fun with all the people that share the fun in the lifestyle and before you know it you'll be sitting around the table the next morning talking about how much fun you had the night before....
New Relationships - - Yep. Swinging is couples centric. If there weren't couples what would swinging even be? Hooking up. But there are plenty of couples who also like to add the occasional single to the mix. Hell, some even play that way exclusively. As far as single swingers meeting each other to form relationships (if I'm reading you correctly) that's a much tougher row to hoe. We've seen a few singles become couples over the years but they're in the minority unfortunately. The lifestyle is a tough place to date and find love for many reasons. Many couples WILL give you more than a casual look if you indeed have a regular play partner that you can bring to add to the mix. Otherwise you'll just kind of have to resign yourself to the plight of a single guy in the lifestyle. Sorry, life isn't always fair.
Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - [quote=THOUGHTGARDEN]Are some people perhaps confusing "judgemental" with "selective"?[/quote]
Right - some people seem to think that because we are swingers we have sex with anyone and therefore they view a rejection as a personal snub. I think they forget that "just not that into you" applies as much in swinging as vanilla relationships.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - So we watched the news piece and we observed that the lady they interviewed was rejected at parties and said she felt like she was in the 5th grade again because she was left out and her husband was busy as hell at the orgies they would attend..........this was nothing more than an attention piece on her part. She's obviously jaded.
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Anyone know if Unspoken in Ogden is having a lifestyle m&g this Friday night 2/4 and if so what is secret password?
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I’ve seen 4 people sitting eating at a bar and they aren’t sitting with the person they showed up with. I figured that was a sign. I’ve noticed it at prohibition.
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Private room that is monitored so you can feel comfortable to enjoy conversation and meet new people and couples! Questions don’t hesitate to ask!
Kik: urnewsecret
How Often Is To Often ? - how often should a couple have sex with each other ? - Most of the time no one could accuse us of being swingers, but maybe one a year the play time desire gets overwhelming and have at it.
Otherwise it's a matter of convenient timing.
I hope we're not the only ones.
Here's something Ive been curious about - - Congrats on 10 years in the lifestyle, SLOW. We're old timers as well and have been doing this off and on since shortly after we got married. Over 25 years now! So I guess I can sort of see both points of view and contrary to the current rather negative societal attitude towards political correctness I have no trouble being firmly on the side of being kind to people and not labeling or belittling anyone regarding their participation in the lifestyle. Having said that, however, I can also see the viewpoint of some couples since when we first started swinging there really were no singles (or at least so few that we never met any) actively participating in the lifestyle. A few years later we met a few singles who would, say, hire a hooker to gain access to parties and events or sometimes convince a friend to act as sort of a swinging "beard" if you will, again to gain entry to swinging events. This was all pre-internet so connecting was considerably more difficult than it is now. To say that the internet changed swinging (for better or worse) is a HUGE understatement. I was talking to a guy (formerly single but now in a couple) recently about his experiences as both a SM and a couple in the lifestyle. His attitude had actually changed dramatically. It reminded me of former smokers who now are militantly anti-smoking. His argument (now that he's no longer single) was to take the couples and the singles and put them on separate websites and what do you have? He said you have a swingers site and a hookup site. I told him that there are some couples who actually seek out singles over other couples but he wasn't easily dissuaded. One final point he made that I thought perhaps was a valid point...he said when he first started out as a SM in swinging he thought that all or most of the married guys who enjoyed seeing their wives getting fucked were basically cuckolds or at very least not real men. He said it took him many years and a lot of different experiences to lose that mindset. He also said that now that he's part of a couple who is frequently contacted by single guys he sees that attitude (because he recognizes it from when he had it) far more often than not. He stated that he would guess that the VAST majority of those single guys who don't "get it", the bad apples if you will, the ones who ruin it for the few good guys have that attitude and mindset. He said that's why there will probably always be somewhat of a schism between singles and couples. Whew, that was a long fucking post. Hope it made sense. No more herb before posting, Mr. Evil! LOL
Family Swingular Members - OMFG and you do a search and see a close family member on the list..... - My boyfriend was checkin out who was online and came across my parents. It was both shocking and kinda expected as I knew my parents were swingers and have for quite awhile. I texted my Mother and asked if she thought sexual orientation could be genetic and needless to say we had quite the conversation after that lol.
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