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BOOTY CALL - - Yeah, I put that request in on the "improvements" section of the forum YEARS ago! Amen to that! All these horny UT swingers sitting at home with nobody to do...what a shame.
Friendship vs. spontaneity? - Are you here to make friends or just to fuck? - The perception of this lifestyle is that there is a whole lot of sex going on between everyone. Maybe if you are young slim and trim and willing to go to bed with everyone at the drop of a hat that is true. But that pretty much describes the young anyway. If that is your perception of all swingers, and you are here in Utah, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I think that this question comes up a lot because it is not a simple question for many of us and it seems to be posted by those seeking friends first. The end goal may be sex. But if that is your only goal then why do you say you are seeking friends. Friendships are not made in 30 seconds or a drink over at the pub. If that is what makes friendships in your mind then you are really just here for sex.
For us it is finding friends. Some folks that we meet we will play with and some we will be just friends with. It really boils down to a 4 way vote when it comes to the bedroom and maybe even being friends in the first place. And that is what makes finding friends and bedroom partners difficult. There is always the added fear of rejection that gets in the way when you want to anything anyone.
I look at all the complaints of one-nighters and couples that never speak again after sex. I can only surmise that for those folks sex is the only yard stick of friendship. You do not have to be sexually compatible to be friends.
We have found that if what you are looking for is friends, then it is easy to be part of the lifestyle. If what you are looking for is based on having sex then it is easy to be disappointed and difficult to be part of the lifestyle.
Furthermore we look at those that just want to screw and think how lonely their existence must be.
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - So many beautiful people in Utah... come down to Florida...one of the SWING states...LOL
is it true about swingular??????????????????? - - An offshoot...
Some history and info that was very interesting to me.
My Dad, who has been a swinger for over 30 years, said that back in the early 70's (back when all they had to hook up with was a couple of magazines!) the 2 hot spots for swingers were California - Duh! and Utah - What?
So our Utah motto is "The church keeps repressing them so we can keep undressing them".
geting in LOVE while swinging - - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on:
Aug 5, 2008 - 7:12 am
Someone mentioned Polyamory. Poly people, at least in most communities, feel that swinging and poly are not compatible.. Fact is, why not? If you are open and honest about your poly leanings and totally honest with your mate and any relationships you may have... then why not poly as well. I know that several people in here and on other sites, swingers feel threatened if you are overtly open abut your feelings. If one truely loves and trusts their partner/SO/wives; husbands/girlfriends; bopyfriends and whatever other relationships that I may have missed, they should not be threatened. If you fall in love with someone that you have sex with.... you have 2 choices..... Tell that person and their spouse and your spouce and see where it goes or simply walk away with the thoughts and get on with your life. The 3rd option is not an option.... If one is poly...thier primary relationship/s take precedence.
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I don't think it is so much of trust and love that is necessary for a poly relationship. There are, in theory at least, benefits. OTOH, NILIF. So, you are going to add complications. Many marriages already are at risk or in divorce. So, it is difficult to handle one person. What about 3? Now, it is a very nice idea to say that whomever the wife plays with is whomever she plays with. However, the reality is that it will have some effect on me. Is it always so easy to divorce yourself from the situation? Yes, in theory, you can say that when you come home, the other people are out of your lives. In practice, it often has a way of creeping back in to the primary relationship.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - at the jazz game...
How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - Also listen to the language they use. We have picked out other swingers by how they talk..
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - We have found we are very flexible but with preferences. If we contact a couple and meet them for a drink or dinner and we have some great conversation and the attraction is there, it opens numerous possibilities. If we get naked the experience can range from OMG to let’s not go there again. Polyamory requires effort and commitment that we are not looking for, we want FWB that we can see when the timing works out. Not getting naked is ok also and sometimes we meet folks in the lifestyle that just become friends and not sexual partners.
We try to keep it simple and never take it seriously and we have been fortunate to have a close group of friends who we enjoy being with. We also enjoy meeting new couples wherever we are. We enjoy events where we can meet other swingers like Naughty in Nawlins. We have had some incredible experiences and again just some so so experiences also.
The point is we do not define ourselves as polyamory but we know what we like and we never consider the specifics of what it is besides swinging.
lets talk about meet n greets - whats yours like? - There are several area groups that have meet and greets every weekend. Some happen in bars, resteraunts, and dance clubs. The number is so large (140-400) that it is a complete take over and the place is warned that the swingers are coming in. We do also have some swinger clubs that people can attend. There are several people that post that they have house parties. People that attend house parties can be from 20-60 people at least.
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - There are signs. I feel like in the right environment, people pick up on each other. We have met tons of random lifestyle couples just by paying attention. We also wear black rings on our right hand when we are looking. It has worked a couple of times.
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