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This lifestyle - What are we really? - What are we really? May seem like an easy question to answer or is it. Most might say "oh that easy we are swingers". Maybe you not a swinger at all maybe you polyamous. What the hell is polyamous?!
Well polyamory is defined as having more then one love. Isn't that the same as saying friends with benefits. Well yes it is. True swinging is having sex just for the sake of having sex. No talking ...no getting to know each other...not caring one iota about the other person. Basically have sex and if the other person dies on the way home ...who give gives a shit!
Not us...not at all. To me this lifestyle is a scale ....true swinger on the one side and true polyamory on the other...We are closer to the poly side as opposed to the true swinger side. WHat is so wonderful about that side is we can have fun with other people even if no actual sex occurs. Sometimes its nice to just be able to go out with like minded folks.
Just wanted to let the people who feel the way we do understand that thier is others with the same thought process.
Mordon and Jade
Met someone you know at a lifestyle event - - Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. There's really no easy way to explain, deflect, lie, or otherwise extricate yourself from that situation. Counting, just now in my head, it's happened to us no less than half a dozen times. Everyone from family members (Ms. Evil's cousin), friends of friends (BFF's of our former next door neighbors), business acquaintances/clients, you name it. It's always such an unexpected shock that we invariably handle it poorly. LOL
ps- Happened again last night at a wedding, of all things! Not really a lifestyle event/party but plenty of swingers there and the implications were probably fairly obvious to anyone really paying attention.
The Vent part II - Secrecy - Hi all, me again here with another vent.
As we have turned into full blown swingers, our "Vanilla" friends are becoming an issue.
We usually swing out of town for two reasons, first there are very few swingers in our area, and I'm having my doubts that the ones that are here are who they say they are, and second, (as a friend once said) we are in a small town and can't "shit in our own nest."
The problem is we are very fun people to be around (not bragging,) and when we go out of town our Vanilla friends want to come with us.
This leads into the problem, if we take our friends out of town with us we can't find someone to play with, or we have to "out" ourselves to them which leads to SO many other issues that I don't even want to contemplate what could happen then. (Basically all of them would not be open and understanding.)
So we are planning a trip to Mesquite, for all you Northerners that's like Wendover, and some of our Vanillas want to come, but we want to "hook up" while we are there, and if we don't "hook up" we could still have alot of fun with our regular friends.
So do we risk putting a wedge in our friendships by making up stories and lies, or do we give up on getting some? its like a double edged sword, (we would love to have more swinger friends, but I will refer you to above statement about lack of real swingers in our area.)
In many ways I would love to just announce at the next bash that we are swingers now and they should just deal with it, but we all know that's NOT a good idea.
Any thoughts or ideas? I guess we just have to pick one huh?
-Classy
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - NO FUCKIN WAY!!! You guys are hot SEXYPANTS! :-)
Flabky69 - Any swingers in missouri semo - Looking for swingers in Missouri preferably semo area
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - A salute to all that have served.....the following quote
"We must remember their sacrifices and continue the mission set forth by Abraham Lincoln to 'care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan.'"
thank you.
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - We have found we are very flexible but with preferences. If we contact a couple and meet them for a drink or dinner and we have some great conversation and the attraction is there, it opens numerous possibilities. If we get naked the experience can range from OMG to let’s not go there again. Polyamory requires effort and commitment that we are not looking for, we want FWB that we can see when the timing works out. Not getting naked is ok also and sometimes we meet folks in the lifestyle that just become friends and not sexual partners.
We try to keep it simple and never take it seriously and we have been fortunate to have a close group of friends who we enjoy being with. We also enjoy meeting new couples wherever we are. We enjoy events where we can meet other swingers like Naughty in Nawlins. We have had some incredible experiences and again just some so so experiences also.
The point is we do not define ourselves as polyamory but we know what we like and we never consider the specifics of what it is besides swinging.
Question for those in the lifestyle - What is the answer! - Why would you envolve me in your problem. I am not a part of it. But, if I have sex with you and you get caught, I am part of a bigger problem that has just been created. NO THANK YOU! You don"t belong in the lifestyle under these circumstances. (By the way this is the M half, but we both feel the same about this)
My wife and I were Soft Swingers for about 8yrs before she decided to go the full swap route. She is happy with her decision to do so, and enjoys the fun WE are having now. I would have liked to have got to this point a lot sooner and had often encouraged her to go for it. She told me several times, it would be alright for me to have sex with someone else if I really wanted too. There was no way I would take that chance of messing up the good thing we had. Neither of us had ever cheated on each other. This doesn't make us goody-two-shoes. It did build a trust which makes it posible for us to share the benefits of this lifestyle with confidense in each other, now.
We feel Trust and Honesty are two things that have to exist if you are going to enjoy the swinging as a couple. Sorry to hear about your situation, but we could not solve your problem if we were to play with you, only possibly make it worse. Thats just the way it is for us.
I feel some of the suggestions offered in the previous post may be your best route to go.
Young Swingers Myspace Swinger Party@Club Hedonism - - Hey Mike and Jen
Well maybe we should all invite them to a party the same night so they wont be left out durring the kiddies event. oops but they are the host hows that work?
Hmmmm on the other hand Traci and I will be hosting a hot single girls and wives only party this Sat night at our home. Dress will be naked for the girls and I will be the only male their.
Ok e mail us at inmydreamsdotcom if you would like to go.
Jen we hope you will be the first to sign up. LOL
We are sure this cpl means well hope their party is HOT and they will share some pics for us all.
Enjoy your the party and post how it goes.
We mean no harm!!!!
Hugs Traci and Pat
Where to go, what to do. - Non club activities - Will definitely do the bowling thing but being December I wonder if meeting at Temple square for the lights would be fun and funny or if it would be too offensive to the Mormon swingers on here.
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