Harris Swingers in North_carolina

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Breaking the 4th wall - meeting a swinger in a vanilla situation. - [quote=BLUEIDKAT] Basically my e-mail was: "Hi, I'm James, the male half of Blueidkat, I work as a sales rep for a national beverage company and consequently call on a lot of retail locations along the Wasatch Front. The other day I was at Blah business in Blah City and noticed someone who looks a lot like you. I know with all the swingers in Utah I must bump into some, everyday, and not realize it. It was so cool to possibly recognize a lifestyler out there in the vanilla world and just wondered if I was right." I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?[/quote]Hey Blue, I know you guys didn't mean anything sinister! But yeah, that'd give me a bit of the creeps. If others read this, I'm sure they'll pipe in with some righteous opinions about how right you are and golly we all need to be proud of ourselves and such because of your statement/question, "I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?" Hopefully few others will read this so we'll not start the whole "Having pics in the profile or not" argument again! :) To answer the question/statement you articulate above, yes, some folks do need anonymity. There are those folks that have a license for their job issued by County or State governments. Obtaining that license is considered a privilege, just like a drivers' license. No, the government can't search you or do medical tests on you against your will -- unless you want to drive. Then you acquiesce to their demands because you want that license. No, the government can't fire someone for perceived violation of a "morality clause" found in a licensing application. They can, however, deny or publicly harass a person about a license. Without that license many folks lose their job. Not good. So for some folks anonymity is not a matter of guilt or shame, but actually becomes a necessity to protect against a threat to their families livelihood. For me, I'm not paranoid or anything but I see absolutely no reason to expose myself unnecessarily. If someone I've met and actually KNOW approaches me away from the swinging scene, I'm totally fine with it, but an anonymous letter from someone I've never even met would bother me.

Polyamory - Any thoughts on an exclusive 3 or more partner relationship? - This is like kissing to me.... Don't love anyone you have sex with except your SO... Well I am in a poly relationship with a married woman. Her husband is not poly and my wife is not poly. The 4 of us are good friends and both my wife and her husband know that the relationship is not platonic, far from it. They do not swing but we met at a swingers social. They were looking into the lifestyle but did not decide to go that way... We started talking on the internet.. they live a little less than 30 miles away. She and I had discovered that we loved each other from the several meetings and talking and I stopped by one afternoon, sat down and told her husband how I felt and she told him also. Understand we both understand that it is a secondary relationship and neither of us wants to leave our respective mates... We have discussed what ifs like; What if something happens to one of our mates? What if one of our mates starts to have problems with our relationship? We try to discreetly meet when we are each free and our mates are not around... This to alleviate any stress to our primary relationships... We do get together and eat and watch TV, play games, dance...Everything is open above board and consensual. Many people who are coming into the lifestyle, over the age of 40 and empty nesters have things in their profiles like; "looking for one or two couples for fun both in and out of the bedroom. Would like to find a couple or two to play with on a regular basis..." The implication is that they want a relationship that is closed...i.e., safe, secure and on a regular basis... To me that looks suspiciously like poly relationships. B and I need to find a place in MT but it's much much too unpopulated there, too cold and could get lonely....besides B likes her job/s.. Wears so many hats it isn't funny. All in all we do get to get out and go to parties/socials almost every weekend, if we want. Something to be said for populated areas even if super people live so far away...

VAL DAY $5.00 OFF SALE ON ANYTHING - TONS OF GREAT STUFF FOR VAL GIFTS . - I RUN A SWINGERS SITE THAT ALSO HAS AN AUCTION PART . U DONT HAVE TO BE A MEMBER TO SELL OR BUY ON THE AUCTION PART .I HAVE A TON OF STUFF FOR SALE . MOSTLY ALL NEW . SOME IS USED A FEW TIMES . THEY ALL SAY IF THEY ARE NEW OR USED . WWW.SWINGERSOFAMERICA.COM IAM HAVEING A $5.00 OFF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IAM SELLING . I HAVE ALOT OF STUFF FOR VAL GIFTS . AND IAM STARTING EARLY TO TRY TO GIVE EVERYBODY A CHANCE TO GET THIS DEAL . IAM ORDERING ALOT OF NEW STUFF FOR THIS SALE . U CAN ALWAYS SEE WHATS NEW AND JUST BEEN ADDED . SO FROM NOW UNTIL 2-14 ILL BE ADDING ALOT OF STUFF . SO PLEASE CHECK BACK OFTEN . RIGHT NOW I HAVE VASES , CANDLE HOLDERS AND NICE DRESSS AND CLOTHES AND NAUGHTY CLUB OUTFITS AND STUFF LIKE THAT . ALITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING . NICE &NAUGHTY STUFF . IF U NEED SOMETHING AND DONT SEE IT ALREADY LISTED . PLEASE ASK IF I HAVE IT OR IF I CAN GET IT FOR YOU ... LIKE ALWAYS IF U LIVE IN THE TAMPA AREA ICAN BRING IT TO U OR I CAN BRING IT TO PLEASURE PALACE . SO NO NEED TO PAY FOR SHIPPING ...OR I CAN COMBINE ORDERS TO MAKE SHIPPING CHEAPER FOR YOU . FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING . THE AUCTION PART IS KINDA OF LIKE EBAY . U CAN BID ON IT TO GET IT CHEAPER . OR PAY A BIT MORE AND JUST USE THE BUY IT NOW .ILL GIFT WRAP YOUR ORDERS FOR FREE WITH A NOTE IF U WOULD LIKE . JUST TELL ME HOW U WANT IT DONE . THANKS FOR SHOPPING WITH FREAKY KITTY & SWINGERSOFAMERICA.COM WWW.SWINGERSOFAMERICA.COM

Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this. It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more. Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell. It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.) You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.) Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.

MSNBC Article on Swingers - actually a positive one :) - now who thinks her and her hubby are at that club every friday? LOL

Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - Here is a scenario for you....................Your out of town, on vacation, you meet that elusive "unicorn" the single bi-female, shes HOT, she willing, and shes on her way out of town. You only have one shot at it, do you turn to this rare find, that is ready to fulfill all those single fem fantasies, and say "Sorry hunny, but we gotta be friends first"? Or do you throw your caution to the wind and go ahead and fuck on the first date? Its not hard to find a reason to break a rule, and if there are reasons to break them, why have them? Why not let the moment dictate? Or is this just an excuse that people use instead of being honest about not wanting to have sex with someone? Or is it an excuse you tell yourselves to not have to go thru with being real swingers? Just a couple more questions I had.

Rooftop Resort - - We have been to Haulover a number of times. Swingers have their meetup areas near one of the life towers on the beach. But as mentioned there is not a swinger vibe there but all varieties of nudists. We have not done rooftop because of the mostly marginal reviews.

Christain Swingers? - - It depends on whether you take the scriptures literally, or, as in some faiths, a more objective and liberal view. Considering how it has been translated... as well as the group of men who decided which "books" would become the bible many centuries ago... there will always be disagreement. Try www.libchrist.com for info about this subject. QtCuplNJax

Who is going to Younge swingers week HEDO? - anyone going? - Have been to hedo three times, GREAT TIMES!!! Enjoy your trip!!! Very jealous! Let us know how it is.

Bottomknockers Grand Opening! - - A new private swingers club is opening in Peoria Illinois! Its Grand Opening is March 14 at 8pm. It is byob. Cost is $35 per couple, $25 for single female and $45 for a single male. That price gets you a membership, entrance, free food at the bar, a room to play in and the ability to stay all night if needed. The Club has a dance floor, a bar, pool tables, a large playroom with leather sofas and a big screen TV, 16 rooms for play, a shower to clean up in or play in, a steam sauna, and a smoking area. Also there is a private entrance, lock boxes and lockers for personal items. Just trying to drum up some unterest! Bottomknockers is located at 307 Oak Ave in Peoria Il. Please message me for details.