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geting in LOVE while swinging - - Someone mentioned Polyamory. Poly people, at least in most communities, feel that swinging and poly are not compatible.. Fact is, why not? If you are open and honest about your poly leanings and totally honest with your mate and any relationships you may have... then why not poly as well. I know that several people in here and on other sites, swingers feel threatened if you are overtly open abut your feelings. If one truely loves and trusts their partner/SO/wives; husbands/girlfriends; bopyfriends and whatever other relationships that I may have missed, they should not be threatened. If you fall in love with someone that you have sex with.... you have 2 choices..... Tell that person and their spouse and your spouce and see where it goes or simply walk away with the thoughts and get on with your life. The 3rd option is not an option.... If one is poly...thier primary relationship/s take precedence.
It is my belief that poly and swinging are not only compatable but that it love happens when one least expects it and has to be handled. Even the vanilla schmuck sees or talks to others and sometimes form closer relationships but don't wish that to affect their perfect marriage. How is that handled? Sometimes it simply cools down or sometimes it ends in a short or long term relationship with or without sex. So as they used to say on the TV sitcom Carter Country....."Han.dl it Han..dl it" Remember the old sage who said "shit happens"
Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - Shit I had to read thru that whole thing like almost twice. Okay fine, I skimmed it almost twice. Why am I (or we) still in swinging (it will be thirty years in the not too distant future!)? For us it's about the great friendships. Sex is great. It's fun to explore that not only with each other but with other people occasionally. But it's totally secondary for us. With swingers, more than any other group of people we've found, we can be ourselves, say pretty much what we want, and not have to filter anything. With most vanillas, especially here in Utah, we really have to tread lightly and watch what we say and do. With swingers we can laugh our asses off, totally make fun of the world and even flirt without anyone getting too bent out of shape. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what would happen if you did that with most of your vanilla friends. So yeah, friendships are why we stay. Any sex that happens is just the frosting on the Pop-Tart for us.
As for when we're "70+...who will be taking care of you"...I would hope I can pretty much take care of myself, still control my bowels and bladder and occasionally still climb in the saddle and give Ms. Evil a jolly good geriatric rodgering. If I can't I would hope one of my good swinger friends will put me out of my misery by locking me in a room with an insatiable 22 year old redhead for a few hours and then scattering my ashes over the beach at Hedo II. ;-)
Seriously, 70 AIN'T that old! I know a guy who still runs marathons (admittedly not very fast) in his 90's!
Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - I was looking through the forum subjects and when I came upon this one and looked I wondered why I hadn't commented, since I am a swinger and am poly for quite a few years and I am involved with 2 women as secondary relationships. Someone said "poly is about being monogomous within a plural relationship." The term monogamous doesn't even enter into poly. Poly relationships can be primary, secondary or tertiary. Further people can be added on add-infinitem, so long as everyone involved in particularly primary and soemtimes secondary relationships are consentual about that aspect. In tertiary relationships it is necessary that that they be aware of all other relaionships and OK with that concept.
I also belong to a Poly group that is not like Yahoo or AOL groups. It is privately owned and is open to poly and poly friendly people. While I know that a small number of the group does swing, they do not advertise. Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly.
We definitely do swing and I have 2 secondary relationships. One could be a primary if she could get over the hurt from a failed..abusive marriage of 18 years. We met thru swinging and will continue until I can't walk talk or motovate. My wife while not professing to be poly is in love with that lady as well as I am. We would invite her to join us as a primary relationship and have mentioned that to her... She is afraid to "lay my heart out and have it stomped on again".
So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I don't have any problems with poly and swinging. We have met people while swinging and I have fallen in love or they have fallen in love with my wife or me.
Swinging and poly are definitely compatable..at least for us.
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - What? You don't have swingdar? LOL. I often just get a sense.
Orgy Party by Swingers Circle in Las Vegas - - Thank you for all the comments so far! Seems to be so hard to find good swinger activities anymore unless you are in the "IN" crowd! We've been "OUT" for awhile and just getting back in :)
Party Pics... - Pictures of Swingers Parties etc... - Well we know some of you out there have \'em, we\'d love to see \'em!
Party Pics.. always alot of fun. We don\'t have many but will get some I\'m sure during the New Years Party!
Peter & Amanda
Why do you swing? - Why not? - even though we came about it somewhat by accident and somewhat later on, I feel as though we were inherently swingers. it just took a long time to figure out that what society was feeding us and what we were feeling wasn’t wrong. we have the most amazing conversations and the best sex ever. we have more love and intimate times with each other and share the things in life that really matter and can still be individuals with wants and desires and can be happy for one another in the others joy and pleasure and still know we have that rock and hsafe place to rely on. we are having more fun than ever. hit us up if you wanna join in our fun.
OK LETS BE HONEST - - We got into the lifestyle because my wife was bi but didn't want to admit it to herself. Raised Catholic and it would be a mortal sin?????? All she had to do was see a woman naked and she got totally wet... I was aware of this for years but she insisted not.. We started going to a club to the socials and she loosened up slowly. At some point one of the women took her to her room and they got it on.. Then she went with another women and got it on another time... I didn't care that I wasn't there because it was for her not for me anyway. So now we are in the lifestyle at her whim... It was never about me in the first place... The lifestyle has made her more open to herself and freer, more able to talk about sexual things.
In the 9 or so years that we've been in the lifestyle I learned that while many times men get their wives into the lifestyle it is the wives that keep them in the lifestyle. Further, women completely control the lifestyle. It's kind of like the old expression; "If a man says he's boss at home, I wonder what else he lies about". The lifestyle is much like that. From discussions with other swingers I find that just a many wives get their husbands involved in the lifestyle as mwn do. I don't know about other places like UT or CO or TX but in NC, SC, VA, and many in FL the women rule the lifestyle and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Ladies, please let everyone know who rules... and it's not pork fat, as one TV chef says...
This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - Great time! Can't wait until next year. Thanks to all who worked to make it happen.
Hello summer - Swingers couple party - If you have any question about the event. We are trying to make it a fun event for those new to the LS and fun for those very familiar with swinging in utah.
If you have questions please ask
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