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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - when i signed up for this site i thoguht it said it was a swingers site to meet different people and enjoy life, more and more i am here seems to be about everything but swing, other r here to meet others with same interests sex, friendship and things like that, not to discuss things to bring u down if i wanted that i would watch the news all the time, am i the one that feels this way bring on the comments

End of Summer Beach Party - Saturday, September 23 - i think we are all surprised at the idea of a nude beach in utah. Much less there being a bunch of naked swingers partying the night away. LOL -- Please please send us directions with date and time as well. Thanks

Oprah show on Swingers - - There were soooo many commercials and about 5 minutes of interview between commercials - you could tell she was a bit nervous!

Is it a “preference” or is it “ discrimination” - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Didn't realize this thread was apparently about skin tone. Fun fact. Skin is technically ALL the same color. It varies only by value, which is the relative lightness or darkness of a particular color. Saturation and chroma also play a role in how we perceive colors. Maybe a more accurate way to state your preference would be to say that you prefer that your lovers have a much higher skin tone value...of course, then you might be inundated by requests to fuck by albino swingers. But, based on the verbiage in your profile, albinos WOULD be the closest color value to your stated preference of "white". [img]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9d/db/ff/9ddbfff4cc56de7d456b77b9c6e2e0b2.jpg[/img] [/quote] Exactly, OmG you figured out my albino fetish ... crazy right ? 😂 👻

Key West - - Yeah whatever you do avoid Club Pu like the plague. You will have much more fun and meet more swingers at the Garden of Eden clothing optional bar. It's on the 3rd floor above the Bull Bar. Saint Pats day in KW is great!! No real parade to speak of but Finnegan's Wake closes the street and has a block party, thats a blast! Also on Saturday March 14th there is a Saint Pattys Bar Stroll... thats a fun event also. Spring break will be going on at the same time so it should be pretty crowded down here. Don't worry, you won't run out of fun things to do!! ;)

Mexico! Come with us!!! :) - Trying to put together a group of Swingers to go to Mexico with us! - Oh come on...132 views on this and no one wants to come? What gives? It cost us only $1700 with airfare for BOTH of us and as a group would be even cheaper. Cum have fun ;)

Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Fidelio.

Tooele swingers party december - Looking to meet other local swingers and have some party fun - Cmon guys every party needs at least 1 black guy.. I’m hereeeeeeeee guys

Mormon Swingers - - [quote=ContagiousLust69]Shen, LDS religion doesn't practice confessions. Source: was raised LDS for 16 years. You would maybe tell God during a prayer , but unless you're so conflicted with yourself of what you have done and feel the need to confess to your bishop, no regular LDS member practices confessions.[/quote] Let's see, you just said that people confess to their bisbop. How is that any different from what I said? I remember being in college and the bisbop called me in, supposedly a girl I had messed around with concessed to her bishop, that bisbop made her tell him my name, and he turned around and told my bisbop. So that confess and tell name part is somewhat true/sarcasm...the rest is pure sarcasm that me and my other mormon friends would just laugh at... I'm no longer active, and I have no hate for the church, but mormon myths are just funny whether active or nonactive... SARCASM, CAN I GET A AMEN