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Swingers gone bad?? - - Still agree what was done is a wrong but I was just thinking of an old movie, "The Summer of '42" and can't remember any public outcry about a movie showing some young boy being mentally scared by an older lady. (Great movie BTW - nominated for over a dozen awards and winning two. It also allowed for a great standing joke as a teen saying "I'm bringing the marshmallows - what are you bringing? See the movie for the answer - good training for swingers) Maybe I'm wrong but I wonder who needed the drinks to do this more - the teens or the adults. I'm too long from 16 to know for sure but can't say with any level of certainty if I would have turned down a older women wanting to teach me. Guys - would you have run from an offer like this as a teenager? Still wrong and I know for sure I have a major double standard because I wouldn't feel the same if this was a 15 year old girl. Could be because I'm a guy and have daughters. I find it hard to understand the "why" of doing it with the risk. I also doubt any young teen would have that much to offer (I do remember a bit from those days and can say for sure my best performance did not occur in the back seat of my parents car!) Max

BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this? The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now. If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer. If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted. The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging. You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable. I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you. Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it. At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!

Just looking for other couples happy with super soft and no swap - There must be more of us out there? - This subject is whats making it hard for us real swingers to find real friends !!!! I dont think they are trying to be mean by saying face book is a good place for ya they are just being honest ...... But I hope u find what your looking for dont really see much fun in it though !!! But each there own ... Just sayin ... Thanx J

Excuse me? But are you guys swingers? - Excuse me? But are you guys swingers? - I think that just be respectful and ask straight up if they are in the "lifestyle" . If they aren't they won't know what you are talking about or if they are then you have a straight answer...yes. No one will ever be offended if they don't know what you are talking about. Also you might ask what they are talking about if they seem to be hinting..... Like ask... are you talking about swinging?... I guess it all depends on a number of factors... Are these people neighbors, someone you've just met and don't really know them or them you....Are these acquaintences that you know fairly well that are talking maybe to find out if you are in the lifestyle... So the reaponce is basically conditional... Can they hurt you? If not then what's to loose.

Expect more news reports like this one. - - What bullshit. They didn't once mention the fact that most swingers also routinely abuse their pet stuffed ferrets and burp loudly in public restaurants. The part about all swing parties being giant free-for-all barebacking masses of wet hot sex was pretty spot on, however. I'm just glad they didn't mention the wearing of metallic neon thong Speedos and dozens of gold chains cause that would totally "out" most of us swinger guys. Interesting they didn't once mention bisexuality. Of course we all know talk show hosts and relationship "experts" are raging carpet lickers. Evil

Those damn single men! - Where do they fit in this lifestyle? - I always seem to bring up the dead topics because I don't forum check every day, just when I can't sleep... I get asked a lot where single men fit in swinging, since we openly invite them into our play time and I loved TequilaRose's response. Thank you for putting the perfect words down for me. And I quote so all can read them again, as I find them truly important to understand: "...singles can be swingers. swinging is not a "couple" only thing. Swinger or Libertine means that you are not bound by moral restraint when you engage in sex. In other words, you don't need to honor the "holy matrimonial sanctity" of a married couple, whether you are in the married couple or wishing to engage in sex with them. So I still contend that a swinger can not be pigeon holed as a swapping couple only. " Swapping is partner exchange, swinging is open minded people be they male, female, straight, gay, or bi, married or single. The original poster wanted to know good advice for the single male to be picked out of the see of choices, and here are my criteria, which btw are things I say long before I arrange to sleep with them. 1. Never approach me (in person or email) and just say "wanna fuck" It's never funny, and always gets you a no thanks. If you like my profile, say something, don't just "someone likes you" It makes you look like a picture hunter and I'll delete it without even looking at you. 2. Listen to and adhear to my personal 'rules' which are: you are not my new best friend. I don't want daily text messages or phone calls. If I was looking for phone sex, I'd call my hubby at work. I prefer the 'you free thursday at 11am?' messages. If we pick a time, stick to it. You only get one chance. You stand me up, you're history. Hubby will always know where I am and with who and will hear all the kinky details. Nothing is secret or behind his back. Hotels are on your dime, not mine. If you don't have a suitable bachelor pad for our afternoon delights, I'm gonna think you're married and lied to me Afternoons I might be able to fit you in, nights and weekends I spend with hubby. When looking to play alone with a single guy, I will never pick time with you over time I could be with him. Don't even ask. 3. NO CHEATERS, ever. If I find out you're married and lied to me, I warn you up front, I will be the girl that calls her up and tells her. Might even have pics to prove it.... watch out, I bite. 4. Stick to the girls/couples rules, it's respectful, and everyones are going to be different. The above mentioned almost sound mean, but it's just upfront. The men I've met are more than happy to adhere to my rules of conduct. I have had only good experiences from the single men I've met on this site. Not all ended up regulars, but no experience was 'negative'. The only really bad swing experience we had was when we first started swinging over 8 years ago, and it was with the male half of a couple. Didn't scare us away from other couples, we just learned from it and moved on. The bashing is stupid and as soon as someone opens their mouth and lashes out at someone else opinions they drop massive IQ points in my book. Too sad..... Do what makes you happy and ignore the rest. Enjoy "that you are not bound by moral restraint when you engage in sex" :) Mrs Curious

Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - Actually this isn't that uncommon. We've been in the scene for a long time and have seen a lot of couples leave and then try to return and hang around the scene without actively participating because they like the thrill and excitement as well as hanging out with people who don't have a lot of hang ups and they don't have to censor themselves around. Unfortunately, in our experience, it hasn't seemed to work out too well in the long run. Not sure why, exactly. Maybe the real swingers don't want to hang out with people they can't potentially fuck or maybe the former swingers (or at least one of the couple) gets excited again and tempted to want to swing again or maybe it's some different reason altogether. Wish I could tell you how someone has made it work but it just doesn't seem sustainable. It's kind of like a motorcycle group I belong to. There was a guy who would show up at all of our meetings, hang out, talk about bikes, etc., but he didn't actually ride or even own a bike. Finally he stopped showing up because he found it harder and harder to engage the other guys in the group who actually ride. If you figure out a way to do it let me know. We still know a few couples who would love to hang out with swingers without actually swinging.

Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - but in Ohio they don't allow single males or females so you sure you want to move to Ohio.

Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - LOL! She's LDS and prefers a couple with family values and common background.

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Agreed Two. Let's get together and play with toys! -K_T