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The males of couples I need your help!! - I am trying to understand my husband and male pride.But been that I am not a male this is hard.So please help. - being in the life style u will meet alot of people that are looking for different things in different ways . most have some kinda of rules . but there is a few wives that can play on their own without the hubby around . but please remeber that most couples do it with each other cause they enjoy watching each other enjoy themselves with another person . the life style is for people to explore thier fantasies . the couples are very open and honest about what they want and dont want and they want to meet people who are looking for what they are look ing for . the more rules u have the harder it will be to find the friends you are looking for . dont ever do anything u dont want to do . or make your hubby do something he isnt ready for . it willonly back fire . but i think it would be helpful if u pampered your husband a bit . to let him know u love him . and u are happy with what he has to offer you . him not wantitng another man around at all shows some jealous issues . and it might be a good idea to talk about that . even if u are only wanting to be with women u still should talk about any kinda of problems like that . him being young he is new to this stuff and might not understand how swingers see and think and feel about this kinda of stuff . swingers are very open and treat sex and the body different then normal straight people . ill give u an ex. if he takes u to a reg bar iam sure he has to fight off the other guys that are trying tomake their move on you . the other guys are normally rude and pushy and all of that . at swingers parties they are not like that . its more of a loving and shareing way . they arent trying to put the moves on you in a disrespectful way at all . the best thing i can think of since u dont want any guy around is to put your profile up on all the girl sites looking for other girls . you will find alot more ladies looking for what u are looking for thier then on swingers sites . cause ill tell u they are hard to find on swingers sites . but then what u are looking for is girl on girl and then u will run into the problem of your man wanting to be there . just like he doesnt want other men around . alot of the ladies looking for other ladies dont want men around . so the same thing that your hubby is not wanting from couples . guess what yall are a couple . and alot of single ladies only looking for other ladies is going to see yall as a couple and are going to have aproblem with your hubby wanting to be there . like i said the more rules u have the harder it is to find what u want . i am in no way telling u to change your rules or anything like that . so please dont take what i am saying the wrong way . u will find what u want . but it will just take longer and u will have less picking to choose from . what been u find the ones u are looking for it will be worth the wait . i really liked the idea that someone said , it was to find a couple that has been in the life style for a while and let them help yall meet new people . at the club we go to they have couples that greet and help newbies find some friends. and just because u arent looking to play with couples doesnt mean u can t meet new people and hang out and go to parties with couples . we love meeting new friends . and we love to invite people to the club and hang out with them . and help them meet new friends . once u meet new friends u will feel better and more relaxed . when u go to clubs u just tell the people what u are looking for and if they arent it then so be it . no harm done . i really think u should talk to your husband about why he feels so strong about the other guys not being around . cause that will cause problems being in the life style . dont be judemental towards what he says but listen to him really good . and i think if he was friends with other guys in the life style that might help him feel more relaxed . but if nto then please dont push him . its not worth it . i have always been into ladies and not men . it is so hard finding single ladies that we both can click with . so we found it easier to find a couple that was looking for what we are looking for . i dont mind light touching and stuff like that . but i am not looking to play with another hubby . so we make sure its ok that way . only girl on girl and then each finsihs with their own mate . . well i gave u every idea that i can think of to help yall . so good luck . and have fun . naughty dreams freaky kitty

Swingers clubs are the new singles hangout? - - I personally have noticed a small but steady increase of single straight women at the swinger's club I hang out at. Normally I would just play it off as a fluke when some friends of mine said that from what they have heard swingers clubs are becoming the place of choice to go for both single women and men hoping to find "Mr. Right". Now the things I like about the club I frequent are the friendly and no pressure atmosphere, and the ability to have fun without having someone ask me every 5 minutes if I want a drink. Has anyone else noticed an increase in the number of single straight women at swingers clubs? Richard

Female sex fantasies. - What do women really think about sex? - [quote=EVILDOERS] We may have to agree to disagree here. We've been in the lifestyle for almost 3 decades and have talked to countless people (yes, many of them even women-haha) who have talked openly about the fantasies they have and have had and sometimes, sadly, how often those fantasies were stifled to some degree or another by societal expectations and repression as well as suppressed by how they were raised by their parents (especially their mothers..."Good girls don't do/say/think things like that."). [/quote] This is just anecdotal and you are failing to realize that you are talking to them in a LS scenario where everyone wants to be the super open and cool movie star-like swingers. Same reason all SM's in the LS are respectful, kind and the Good Lord's gift to couples seeking MFM or even the ones that are not. We all play The Imitation Game. They will talk to you openly, honestly, will tell you how much they enjoy it, how healthy for their relationship is. It almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, unless you were raised in a far away land where the LS was a norm and that we all know it has never existed, these confessions are an integral part of the illusion. And, if you take all that at face value, you are lying to yourself and even worst, believing it. [quote=EVILDOERS] It seems more than just a little condescending and even a little bit misogynistic.[/quote] I've been called worst lol. It's just biology, we think we are this almighty superior species, key to the universe, chosen to be sovereigns of all when all we are is just mammals with an unusually large brain victims of our own imagination and gullibility for the most part. And yes, imagination is sometimes good, that's how we got to the moon. But that's also why when you go to an Indian casino, you only see pictures last dozen big winners from last year but you don't see the thousands of losers of this week. Most of us are trapped in a dream and think we can make our own reality. "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." -Ecclesiastes 1:9

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - We tend to focus more on an overall package deal, rather than choosing to focus on one parameter specifically, such as age. Personality and intellectual attraction combined with levels of physical attraction sometimes make the issue of age a moot point. Black and white generalizations are something we prefer to avoid when referring to those we encounter in the lifestyle, i.e., younger ones are always too immature or clueless, older ones have no stamina, etc. Diversity within the swinger community is too great to even attempt such broad categorizations. Besides, what potential fun/friends are we missing out on because of that? Honestly, we have found younger couples to far exceed their years in relative wisdom, often surpassing those that are well above their age group. Inversely, my wife and I will outlast most party goers ten years our junior. Alright...'nuff rambling. :) ~J~

Hollywood Swingers? - - Heard it on the radio today!

Best Swingers club in Cincinnati area? - Swingers clubs - Thanks Classy. That's what we heard about Princeton too, so we are definitively going to check it out.

swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - How is this?

Couples oasis or Red Roister - Which do you prefer - "...in advanced stages of their lives or have been ridden way too hard and put away wet on far too many occasions." You say that like it's a bad thing! All I know is that the last time we were at the Red Rooster (admittedly probably 10 years ago) we saw THE largest couple we've ever seen in a swing club (or possibly anywhere else!). By the time they got up the stairs (single file as the stairway is NOT ADA compliant) they were sweating SO hard and were SO out of breath that we made a break for it before they got their second wind and took their clothes off. But you know what, good for them for being comfortable in their own...uh, skin and wanting to get their freak on in front of a small group of geriatric swingers. We did, out of morbid curiosity, scan the obituaries the next day because if someone there that night didn't have a coronary event then surely someone was crushed to death. And yes I'm a BAD person for saying that even if it's due to imbibing a WHOLE Redd's Wicked Apple Ale all by myself, on an empty stomach. Yeah, you heard it here first. The 'Doers KNOW how to party on a Saturday night! [em]Emo_57[/em]

Burnt out from searching - - [quote=EVILDOERS][quote=ThroughTheVeil]Maybe the problem is that you're shooting too high? I mean, don't get me wrong, everyone has their preferences, and at the end of the day, you shouldn't do anything (or anyone) you don't want to, but were in a similar boat of having to reach out a lot and getting rejected, a lot... even after making quick contact (or even longer contact) with a couple. Now if we didn't care who we met up with, we'r would have a different couple every night we had free time and some to spare, so having standards is important for time management also. What I'm saying is, if you're frustrated with how little (quality) contact, maybe you should give more people the benefit of the doubt. I can think of couples that we initiated contact, 4 or 5 times before meeting, and then when we finally did, had a great time and became good friends, but that also meant reaching out to couples 6 or 7 times before realizing we were wasting our time swallowing our pride over them.[/quote] The Lord and Lady of the Veil (Vale?) make a very good point. We've found that MANY swingers (Ourselves included.) are somewhat predispositioned (Yes, I know that's not really a word.) to constantly be on the lookout for what we might consider the perfect or ideal couple/connection and thus ignore people we might actually end up having a fairly great connection with because they didn't check one of our boxes for things thought we were looking for. Far too often it's too easy to overlook a good or even great couple when searching for the perfect one (That might not actually exist!). How much great or even just good sex might we be passing up in the pursuit of perfect sex? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯[/quote] Very well said and obvious to many and acknowledged by few. We decided after the 1st couple of years the perfect couple may not look like the perfect couple but if we had a great connection it did not matter. Wildcouple88 we live in Houston and have never had a response from anyone in our area. We have met many great couples in SLC area when we cum in for about 8 weeks a year in the winter to ski.

Here's something Ive been curious about - - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET][quote=EVILDOERS]You can't be a "real" swinger unless you're official. We answered an ad in the back of a Spiderman comic book, sent in a quiz and a drawing (boobs and a penis) and they told us we would be AWESOME swingers and to send them 19.95 plus P&H. Now we're card carrying swingers. If our certification ever expires we're just gonna be plain old wife swappers.[/quote] Did you also buy the x-ray glasses and the Sea Monkeys? Their advertisements are usually on the next page. I did and what a rip-off.[quote=PEBBLEROCK][quote=NAUGHTYELFS]we have discussed this and we feel it is possible for the ever elusive unicorn to be a swinger. however, for our money a single male cannot be a swinger he is just another horny male who is often single for a reason lol[/quote]That's the dumbest fuckin thing I ever heard!! A single (unicorn) female can be a swinger, but a single male is "just another horny male who is often single for a reason"??? What about a single female that's single for a reason? Whatever that reason might be...it's no different. Just different parts. That was such a huge chauvinistic statement from some fucker that's probably sittin home on his couch covered in potato chip droppings, wackin his fuckin pud as he picture-surfs everyone on here!!! It's people just like you that make it so hard for some of these really decent guys to get a dialogue going with a couple at least, or a friendship at best. There's no damn difference in a single male or a single female being considered a "swinger". The COUPLE is the "swinging" part of the equation, not the single...they're just wanting to get they're "fuck" on, male or female, for whatever reasons they might have. So do me a favor...hurry up and get your nut, wipe the chip grease off your fingers so you don't fuck up your keys too bad when your wife needs to check her email, and go hang yourself!!! I have no patience for fucktards like you that have no idea what this really is!!! Play your own game, but don't ruin it for other's that are trying like hell to play within the rules!!! Wanna borrow a rope???[/quote] Are the two of you, perhaps, being a bit reactionary about this thread? Pebbles I would agree that many if not most everyone involved in someway with the swing scene is mostly trying "to get their fuck on" and I appreciate you honesty, but to offer the guy a rope? Either he or she or both made a reductionist statement about single men. Their opinion really only spoils a single males chances with them and only them. Remember guys with the big sabers don't need to rattle them and the ladies also read these forums and the ladies usually prefer a gentleman. Peace people, peace. [/quote]You're right, I was a bit reactionary and over the top. I guess I get a bit defensive for the truly respectful single males out there. And YES we have them blocked, but only because Pebbles is into girls and very close relationships right now. Thanks for reminding me to tone it down a bit. Peace babies!