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I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - We have friends in both of those communities and dip in and out of both but don't actually consider either what we have or want.
Simply: Swinging is generally, ironically, too casual for us while also having way too many cultural rules (but we fucking love your parties), We also find that while we have fun with and enjoy the company of a lot of swingers, most are culturally pretty different from us. Polyamory, as people play it, is typically far too intense for us and that community also has a lot of cultural strictures and high expectations (but we've had great parties there, too, and have made really close friends, even though we're not into Star Wars 😜).
So we look for genuine friends, because that's how it started and that's how it's always been with us. We're as likely to go to coffee than get naked. And our lives are crazy busy, so we don't have a lot of time to give. But we each go out with someone probably once a week. That said, it's not necessarily the same person and actually getting together for a night out, rather than coffee or lunch, probably only happens twice a month each at most. Once a month is more common.
We don't really have rules. That's kind of antithetical to how our relationship works in general. Instead, we spend focused time with each other. We go to coffee together once a week. We go to lunch together once a week. And we go out together once a week. We plan that on Saturday over coffee or ok a run. We also talk constantly. We've always been completely open with each other. Having a mutually wanted and understood open relationship makes transparency easy for us. We also like to inevitably introduce anyone were seeing regularly to each other. We also don't pry at all but like to be sure the other person's spouse or primary partner is good and that they're relationship is healthy.
It sounds a lot like what people call polyamory except that it stays casual. For that reason, the other people need to realize that's all it will ever be. The flip side to that is making sure we only get involved with grounded and reliable people. We've been doing it long enough that we both have a whole set of friends we might go out with on and off. For us, regardless of their jobs, they're often artistic, musical, literary, dancers, etc..
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Orlando on the 21st - - I don\'t mean to be negative or difficult, but the general \"lay of the land\" for swingers in Orlando - has been discussed here before - with the conclusion that aside from Tastebuds (which is wonderful, but meets each *Saturday* night - not on Friday when you\'ll be there) - there really isn\'t much in the way of \"public\" entertainment. You can enjoy Rachel\'s Steakhouse (near the airport) for some great steak and topless dancers, or your best chance is to see if you can hook up with a private party - or *make* a private party somewhere - because Orlando is desperately trying to keep the \"Family\" image - and clamps down hard on anything \"public\" for swingers - or even just good-old nudity in strip clubs and such.
It is ironic that Vegas has the same problem: in the city of Vegas - one cannot be *nude* in public shows. Particularly funny because when the Swingers and the Soccer kids clashed at the hotel near the airport recently, one person said \"Orlando isn\'t VEGAS, for goodness sake\" (meaning that MCO is supposed to be MUCH more wholesome - whatever that means).
Anyway, not in any way shooting at you - just kind of sad that a big, tourist city like Orlando - hasn\'t managed more \"action\". It may be there, but it\'s \"underground\".
Mormons - - What a interesting topic, I have to put in my two cents.
I am from Amesfoort, Holland. I moved to Utah when I was young and grew up in SLC in the winter, returning to Holland some summers. (A unique perspective)
Now with my wife, I have not meet any LDS swingers. But our circle of friends is not LDS ether. But while I was single I meet many Mormon girls that a great interest in me. Some tried to convert me (HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.... no)
and some had no intention of converting me, although may have used it as an excuse to talk to me.
There are many benifiets for staying in the church, and growing up non-lds can be a lonely affair in Utah.
I think that many pretend to believe, because they need the support of the community, friends, and family.
But many do want they want behind closed door. And I am sure the Internet is a great escape for them as well.
I have been far and wide in this world, and most people are all the same. Yeah they may not be that open but everyone has to get to their own freedom in their own way and own time. So many of them just chat, and disappear when it comes down to meeting.
But in my single days I had girls from the church meet me in private, and well. :) I used to like to think that is was because I was a hottie. but I think I have come to realize it was them who was hot, and needed release, and trusted me to be quiet about it.
I am sure many think about swinging. But I doubt many would even talk to their spouse about that. The one issue I have with the Church is that they tend to control through fear, and I bet many guys and girls would like to bring up the topic. But fear their spouse will freak and they will be in front of the bishop.
Most be a scary place to be, I am very lucky to have been raised in a very liberal, open, agnostic home.
That upbringing seems to leave so many insecurity's, and doubts about ones self.
anyway sorry to be long winded.
S#!% swingers say - - I don't know how many have seen the youtube video "Shit Swingers Say," but it's pretty funny.
I don't know if I can embed video on this forum, but I will try. If this doesn't work, just search youtube for "shit swingers say." You will laugh, or your money back!
How to find other swingers - - Kids use wristbands in NC to talk about sex? I am positive that mine get right to the point. I KNOW we taught her about the "birds and the bees" better than that!
Luvbugs (mR.) ;)
Has swinging changed? - - I've been trying to quantify the changes we're seeing but it's a little hard to pin down. For one thing, there seem to be quite a few people sticking their heads in and quickly retreating. Perhaps it's the ease of entry that allows "lookie Lous" to sort of check things out without really risking actually MEETING someone. LOL Another thing we've noticed is that there seem to be more people treating swinging as simply another way to hook up for NSA sex. I mean I know at it's core that's what swinging is but it's almost become a wham, bam, thank you ma'am culture rather than the sensuality of sharing your body with a caring generous lover. Foreplay almost seems to have become perfunctory (if it happens at all) and there's more of a "down and dirty by nine thirty" attitude than there used to be. It's almost a hit it and quit it or get in, get out, go home culture now. Many people just seem to be in such a hurry to fuck that they don't really want to take any time to get to know each other a little first. Maybe I'm seeing things but it just seems like it's changed a lot since we started swinging. I was talking to some people on another site and one guy postulated that the changes were due to the scene being so diluted by people with varied interests that there just aren't a lot of "pure" swingers anymore. I dunno, maybe I just need more coffee. [em]Emo_96[/em]
The Hunt Club of Brevard is in the news - And I thought Utah was a news hog - this subject opens a can of worms.... there is alot of heated discussions... but this is by far a favorite of mine... basically in a nut shell .. like the popos stated there wasnt anything illegal going on... just a bunch of snooty neighbors thumbing their noses because they feel they can...just because "Swinging" isnt socially accepted as of yet... i state that because of the fact as society changes and evolves more widely things are accepted... now in some states they legally recognise gay and lesbian unions, marriage as lawfull comitments as hetrosexual unions and marriages and both spouses are entitled to benifits as male female marriages so its going to be interesting to see what evolves the next 10 years.... like ive said before... who is to say what is normal and acceptable as a society... all we have is learned values and been told what is right and what is wrong... what if for the last 2000 some odd years someont told us that multiple sex partners while in comitted relationships and or marriages is normal and acceptable.. thus people would now have houses where like minded people whom only wanted to have sexual relations with their spouse would go to have fun... and indulge in what would be considered their life style and swingers might be protesting them... so who is to say what is normal and acceptable..... some pompus un informed tight spinchered duff some 2000 years ago and people started believing him and followed suit..... not to ruffle feathers but for over a century F-LDS has belived in poligamy (a whole diferent subject) but they had a good start on passing beliefs down through generations.. but when they allegedly involved minors they broke laws set forth by our forefathers and thus brought into light their beliefs... but thats a interesting mixture of church and state.. church's beliefs vs what the state says is the law....whole new subject but back on topic.... id love to open a club here for one i dont like my fuggin neighbors... and two... its intriuging... those who know us know what i mean when i say that... im working on a play room at work... that has alot of things too big for most peoples houses... but then again a new topic... but the hold up on a club here locally i dont feel there is adequate support in this area... alot of ppls in this area arent as open as sara and i... we cant get fired or ridiculed at work... then again those who know us will laugh at that one... but back one last time to the topic at hand... we need more places to open their doors to groups of like minded people to get together and have fun and not be pushed around by snooty neighbors so people realize "OUR" groups are here to stay and will be soon accepted in societys mainstream..... and be whats considered as the "NEW NORMAL"... a far cry n a hopefull wish... but as accepted ya itll happen as enough people come to light. and as a new normal maby in a few thousand years... cool... dennis and sara
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - We're going to be there tonight.
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - Dr. Ziggy...
How would someone approach a couple in a vanilla bar if you suspect (or know from a reliable source) that they are swingers? (And the wife/gf seems to be quite friently.)
