Durham Swingers in New_york

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Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - aquarius and sagittarius here

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Vegas: Swingers circle or couples oasis? - Which do I prefer - Vegas baby Vegas

Disabled Swingers - - The guy I moved to Vegas with had MD. In a wheelchair loss use of legs, now he couldn't walk......but the motha could fuck. Just saying, look for people who have your same qualities or interests and just start and friendship and go from there. Once they meet you and you guys hit it off, they should be able to look past that. If they can't you don't want em anyway. I've dated 3 guys in wheelchairs and I liked them because they never let me think they needed me for anything.Strong, independent and could pop wheelies. All pretty hot. :) Hope your search goes well.

Utah - - OK, I just have to throw out something I have been noticing alot. A bunch of people seem to rag on Utah and say that everyone here is judgemental and that this place is hard to live in. I have just read in alot of posts that they dont know how or where to meet like minded people. First , I think this site is a perfect start, or a bar, or whatever it is yall like to do, start there. Maybe its because I live in Ogden, but i havent really met, or have anyone in my life who really judges me for what i think or do....Maybe its because I have a good radar for cool peoples lol. And just make friends who i know are non-judgemental..Anyways I am not from here (been here 10 years though) but I fairly well like this place! And there are alot of Swingers here, which i find to be the best attribute of any place!!! Sorry for the rant, just my rambling for the month

Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - BMW 335i, Hard Top Convertible. Love it !!!!!

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Posted By: TEQUILAROSE Reply posted on: Jan 8, 2008 - 1:35 pm Aklim, The CDC tells you that more pitbulls are prone to abuse. You are trying to justify your hate, by reading what you want. So if you need to justify your hate of pit bulls, with the CDC stats, would you also do the same against, blacks (drug dealers), whites (serial killers), asians(little dicks), native americans(drunks)? I don't buy it. It just stereotyping pure and simple. TR, I was trying to make a point that people use the raw statistics to justify their point. Seeing as I had a Pit Bull and now an Am Staff, and play with them all the time, I don't think you can say I hate them. And NO. I don't believe the CDC either. At least not till they can prove to me that WITHOUT human influence, the Pit Bulls tend to be more dangerous. Yes, it is stereotyping. As I said, it has some basis in the fact that there are a few that people have run into. However, when looked on as a whole, it might not show the same light.

Interracial Fun - Taboo Or Good Fun? - My favorite ones are the ones who are trying to explaing the \"moral\" aversion to interaccial dating while posting his wife neked on a swingers site. I mean come on. Are you kidding? Interracial dating \"bad\" Butt Naked group sex \"good\"? You need to think about what you\'re saying before you say it. I try and steer clear of moral right and wrongs, but i think in this case you guys are treading on some thin moral ice. Funny but thin ice

How far are you willing to travel ? - - We've had kisses blown to us and I will generally answer with a note but have, as yet, not received our first answer. Most are quite far away and their profile, like yours says that you would like to be friends and hang out with as well as..... (Not exactly what you said but that's what I got out of your profile) If people are like us, we would travel up to 1 to 1.5 hours to meet or to play because that, to us, is a reasonable distance to have a friendship. If we were to meet someone at one of the clubs that we belong to, and became friends we might travel farther/further. If one believes that to travel a greater distance than would be practicle for friendship then that distance would set the limit. On the other hand, if a couple is out strictly for the sexual encounter and has no expectation or wish for friendship then maybe a stop over in a city on the other side of the country might not be out of the question... If someone sends a kiss and the couple respond it would be nice if that couple would acknowledge receipt of a note. Just common courtesy. On another site we have been invited, by a number of folks, to stop by if we ever get in the area for drinks, dinner, play what have you,,,simply because we participate in forums and we may send a note about their profile or their pictures or both... So ultimately it depends on the couples involved.. If someone were to cum here for a week or more and wish to meet and see what happens then that might be an acceptable situation. Or if we were to go to their area for MORE than a day or a few hours,,(Not just passing thru) then maybe we'd want to meet and see what might happen... We are not notchers or hardcord swingers...attraction is part of the equation with us...So distance is part of the equation virtually always. Ray

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - I have been swinging since the days it was called wife swapping. I am not interested in those under mid 30's and perfer to stay under age 55 as my preference. I like to be able to converse with those I play with 1 on 1, and the younger crowd leaves me with little to talk about. Also having a son in that age range makes it awkward for me. At parties I am not paying attention to an age range though, I pay attention to what sexy nymph catches my eye....