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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
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MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Singles who are married and cheating - - JenandBrandon: Spot on! If you can't discuss this with your spouse, 1 Don't do it! or 2 End it and move on! Don't drag them down into the gutter of lies deceit and broken trust.
Blueeysinutah: You are honest, and discrete. You're right your kids don't need to see this. But the fact that you are honest with your husband, whether he agrees with you or not (as you are separated and seeking dissolution of your marriage) shows the kind of integrity, so quickly evaporating from our larger society, that is to be commended.
T4REAL69: If you mean to imply that having open sexual relations with others means that as swingers we have no right to define any morals, there are plenty of places in which you may live in your sainted paradise. In our experience the greatest thing we have found among REAL swingers is integrity. This is one of the greatest and most anciently recognized virtues. Without that societies based on social contract of any kind will revert to total lawless brutality. The concept of "The Rule of Law" is a social contract, and has no hold where integrity is absent.
As for our part, we do take self proclaimed singles at their word with the honor system. We appreciate the honesty of those who do tell us about their situation, and decline any opportunities to play with them, as we don't need any of that kind of drama (buckshot anyone?) Even for those who are in the lifestyle and have a "hall pass" we will make a best effort to confirm with all parties that it is ok before we do any play. We do not feel it our place to "out" anyone whom we have discovered as a cheater, as this is something between them, with whomever they are espoused, and with whomever they are involved. If push comes to shove, we will however not hesitate to "throw them under the bus."
Paper or Plastic? - - Republican swingers...go figure that one out, sort of like jumbo shrimp...
A little help please Naughty by nature camp out - - Hey you could do some recruiting and missionary work. Spread the swinger gospel. jk I totally understand where you are coming from. Wish I could give you some details. I would personally contact some of your fellow swingers from the other post and they would be happy to give you details I'm sure. There are fantastically fun people going.
Dirty game night 5/5/20 - Dirty game night - What naughty games do you play and how do you play them? I have heard about a dirty version of cards against humanity but no one I have talked to seems to know how to play it with swingers. Let me know the rules
movie short - some couples just aren't cut out to be swingers lol - http://www.atomfilms.com/landing/landingIndex.jsp?id=free_speech
Meeting new swingers? - Where to meet them? - We seem to have about 70/40 percent Club VS Web Sites,but we can really say for all the people we have met...we havent been dissapointed.......
Audi is cheaters' top choice - Automotive News June 14, 2013 - What kind of cars do single swingers posing as couples drive? Diahatsu Charade? Subaru Brat? Hummer? Oldsmobile Intrigue? Dodge Dart Swinger? Ford Probe? AMC Gremlin? Pontiac Vibe? Or make up your own!
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Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - If I ever hit a huge Lotto I would for sure get a BUGATTI VEYRON ~ now that is bad ass and yours for a coooooooool Ooooooooooneeeeeee Miiiiiiilllllllliiiiooooooon Dollar$$$$$$$$
Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - We both have black rings on our right ring fingers. They have each others nicknames on them.
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