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COVID and Lifestyle - Testing or risking it - Just as an aside (and out of morbid curiosity), how many are okay risking COVID by meeting and/or playing without masks but insist on using condoms when fucking other people recreationally? I'm trying to get a handle on how Utah swingers assess health risks in the lifestyle. [em]Emo_4[/em]
[img]https://pics.me.me/thumb_a-list-of-people-who-understand-risk-managementmettret-memegenerator-net-a-52953797.png[/img]
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I thought it might be interesting to see what preconceived ideas people had about swinging that were completely different than what they actually found in the lifestyle. As an example, this isn't one of OUR preconceptions but we've run into SO many people (yes, usually guys...single AND coupled) who have the idea that basically anyone will fuck anyone in the lifestyle. We've encountered a large number of swingers over the years who seem to believe that the ONLY commonalities necessary for a swinging connection is the simple fact that we're all swingers. Any other factors are, apparently, moot.
What things did YOU find in the lifestyle that didn't mesh with what you thought the lifestyle was all about? Did you think it would all be one big wild orgy? Or did you imagine that there were myriad unicorns ready, willing, and able to fuck you at the drop of a hat? [em]Emo_49[/em]
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=ASHLEYSCOTT]Lol, Jeff has been wearing a black ring on his pinky finger of his right hand for almost 10 year's. We heard it was a swinger thing way before we were Swingers but he kept wearing it to mess with people at the time. Definitely not a new thing.[/quote]
While it may not be new, it's definitely gaining traction.. And some of the sillier things (like the upside down pineapple) are going the way of urban legends. =)
Would like to see it more in Utah, since it's definitely a "thing" when you get outside the lowly shelter of Utah-centric Swingular. (SLS, Kasidie, etc, are all at least mentioning it regularly now, if not downright pushing / endorsing it).... And the OTHER online communities (like reddit) are pushing it pretty hard.
Even when it comes to swinging, it seems Utah is sheltered. =)
However, worth adding, that based on my observations, it's gaining traction mostly with the under-40 crowd. (Not coincidentally, the same crowd that's more active in the social-media circles).
Messages - why don't people want to message back - [quote=Sm435]
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better.
Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead.
Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.[/quote]
Well said. We just quoted the parts we completely agree with. You should remember that once you find a good group of FWB - you are less inclined to follow up on every offer. This is more a time management issue than a rejection. Hopefully people will still be responsive.
The only emails we don’t respond to are blind friend requests .... especially from people with no profile pics. Sorry - we won’t respond to blind requests. If you are interested - send a thoughtful message - if you are not, simply say so. We think that is good form.
Good luck - it’s wonderful when it works. We have been extremely lucky in finding some lifetime great friends. We’ve only had one couple we played with who ghosted us - we’ll never understand that - but it happens. That’s on them, not us. We feel like what comes around goes around. Wouldn’t change anything about our LS experience though - we feel blessed to have expanded our circle of friends to FWB. Lucky, lucky, lucky us!! May you all have similar luck!
Vanilla "life" just doesn't taste as good! - What else doesn't "taste" as good? - The dirty little secret of the lifestyle (Okay, there are a LOT of dirty little secrets! LOL) is that it's VERY hard to go back to Vanillalandia and not become bored to death. We've known SO many swingers who "quit" the lifestyle and no longer want to have recreational sex with others but nonetheless still try to hang out with swingers and go to swing parties and such. *shrug*
[img]https://media1.tenor.com/images/856456b4fac99f838d6946c988a34f7b/tenor.gif?itemid=8607839[/img]
is this legit?? - - A good reason for someone to show discretion in this area of life is if the person is military. Thanks to some of the things written in the UCMJ(Uniform Code of Military Justice), the military swingers have to keep their lifestyle a secret because they can get into a heap of trouble. Just a couple examples who ever just has sex in the missionary postion, never has their partern go down on them or for those that like anal, no anal sex & the big kicker for the swinger lifestyle doesn't have sex with another person's spouse? All of that is punishable under the UCMJ so it wouldn't be a far fetched idea for them to lose their job if it came to the attention of the swinger's commander.
Pineapple Stickers - pineapple sticker = swingers? - I have them on my motorhome however I have them right side up just to add to the mystery 🍍
Just curious are we the only ones? - Just curious are we the only ones? - The black-ring on the right-hand has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community -- especially outside of Utah where Swingular isn't so well known, and there's not so much of a swinger-bubble).
- It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago. (Many people think it's been around longer, but I've never seen any verified instance of it referenced prior to about 5 years ago... would love to be corrected on this with hard proof, however).
- Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it.
- Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it.
- It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing".
- We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them.
It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..")..
My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter.
More Info here:
- http://www.okswing.com/ind..
- http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html
- http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html
Swingular tends to create a little bit of a bubble for us Utah people... since the rest of the country uses other sites. The black-ring concept is trending elsewhere, nationally... and not so much in Utah.
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - We agree as well. Several I've been to out of the country charge the same for a couple as a single male (which encourages single males to bring a date!). Also, women are ALWAYS free. Having a demonstration night would be great. For instance a BDSM themed room with a master teaching an audience. It's also a great setup for voyeurs and exhibitionists. Another room could have Symbian rides with a trainer. I've seen it done very nicely. PM me and I will be happy to share some club websites that I think are absolutely top notch!
What are you really looking for? - More than the profile - [quote=SIMPLEPLEASURES]Looks like we end to arrange a party that is tailored for couples to meet and see if they mesh. [/quote]
We love these type of events, say ten couples or so in a casual type environment, to big and it seems you get lost in the crowd. Then you only talk to the ones you may already know.
Or maybe we should do a speed dating for swingers, ten couples and ten questions to give to each couple.
#1 do you like sex
#2 do you like sex
#3 do you like sex often
#4 if we have sex will we still be friends
#5 would you like sex now
#6 can we have sex again
#7-10 When can we ?
That may work huh
That may work huh
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