Nashua Swingers in Minnesota

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Tinder? Bumble? - What are your thoughts on tinder or bumble? Any luck meeting ls folk? - Any similar ones for swingers?

Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - Swingers are very judgemental, maybe more so than the general population. It's not just over weight people that are judged by people in the lifestyle. Single men are discriminated against daily...just because they are male. We seem to be good at grouping like people together be it sex, weight, race. People in the lifestyle sure don't hold back when it comes to discrimination.

I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - Mr. and I have been in a committed poly relationship with another couple for 3 1/2 yrs. Both we and the other couple had been in the LS for 3-4 years before this. Our trajectories were different - Mr. and I were pretty bored with swinging. We had lots of fun adventures, but we both tend to crave more intimacy and I, in particular, don't find myself attracted to many men until I am intellectually attracted to them, and that generally takes more time and effort than the average swinger wants to put in. We had tried only dating unicorns for a year, and then went to more of an open style marriage (infrequent, but occasional hall passes. Sometimes with both members of the same couple, sometimes not). But even that wasn't as satisfying as I wanted and my interest in the LS was waning. That's when we stumbled upon our Others. We were at a vanilla swirl party (a few LS, mostly vanilla) and immediately picked them out as LS. What do you know, we clicked. I immediately was drawn to the husband, he to me, and our spouses soon felt the same. We began spending time together as a foursome pretty much from that day forward. Their trajectory was different than ours. They were classic swingers--meet at a party, click, arrange sex or fuck then and there. Sometimes these people became friends over time, sometimes not. They didn't crave the intimacy we did; they enjoyed the spontaneity, excitement and variety. Their relationship was never open. No hall passes, almost always straight partner swap with another couple, but occasionally they would mix that up at a party situation. So it's kind of surprising that they ended up down this road of polyamory. We just clicked and loved every minute with each other and really never have wanted to be apart. HOWEVER, we are all four still swingers in some way or another. It has become more apparent after the honeymoon phase has settled into a deeper, more real relationship. They occasionally still want that exciting fling. We do too, only less often as the stars REALLY have to align for me. Mr and I still occasionally like sex with a deeper connection. There have been moments when we resented their desire for casual sex. There have been moments when they resented our need for deeper connection. But in the end, like any LS couple, we were able to talk it through. And we were able to realize how all of us can be fulfilled and have our needs met. We just had to drop the jealousy and insecurity and really want to please the people we love.

Joe - Swingers parties - Nope

We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - One thing we have that works pretty well is, certain phrases or a look that if one of us isn't too excited about proceeding further or theres something wrong, all we need to do is say it and then your spouse knows and things slow down. This is mostly addressed to the other couple as it seems as though they wasnt on the same page.

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Attraction is just that... attraction. Age is just one of many factors that has the ability to blow my skirt up :) I think society gets a little hung up on it. I was out and about recently with a much younger guy and the looks I got ranged from amused to downright pissed off. I was actually a bit shocked that people even cared. My issue with seeing much younger men is that their range of experience is limited. Now I'm not just talking sexually, but life experiences. So when you crawl out from under the sheets, what do you have to talk about? That is an issue. I enjoy conversation, debate and people who actually 'get it', yanno? In bed.. well they are typically sexual dynamos..woo hoo! Older men...well they have their issues too. I find that a few have had difficulty with relationship/play/dating/romance stuff. Their heads are stuck in good girl/bad girl issues and so I either get treated like a total slut/whore or a princess. It's strange. Skill level here can be amazing and while they typically don't have the dynamo factor, they have stamina and MAD skills... woo hoo! Women are great at any age. I find I always have something to talk about with them. Sexually speaking... well, women speak a very similar language and most are sexually intuitive. Even those that have limited bi experience... woo hoo! That about covers everyone... LoL... :) Happy play to you all! Te

Party Pics... - Pictures of Swingers Parties etc... - Well we know some of you out there have \'em, we\'d love to see \'em! Party Pics.. always alot of fun. We don\'t have many but will get some I\'m sure during the New Years Party! Peter & Amanda

International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - How was it? We're thinking of going in the near future. Where y'all get a room at? Close by the club? I'm not familiar too much with slc. This is the Mrs. C btw 🙂

weight approperate - - xplorr we will be back in NC in June to ride the B R Park Way would love to meet. We went to a Club at a Hotel while up this past June called carolina swingers in Winston Salem it was a blast.

Calling all losers! - LS and club scene - ...........................................I am bored on a Sunday, so going to waste a bit of time. :) I have said this before and I will mention it again here. Often times people are looking for a black and white answer, a "this" or "that" or they tend to pigeonhole themselves into a place that feels comfortable to them. It is great that people can search for and find people of similar interests. The original question was why is the Utah scene so closely related to the club scene. To me, that isn't necessarily the way things are and so I am responding to shed a different insight into the question. How big is the club scene in Utah? I don't feel it is that big. We have the Moose Lounge on Fridays on a regular basis, we used to have Habits and then we have the parties that happen once a month or less frequently, such as the Sinful parties. Give or take a few other club locations and attendees. The average attendance at the Moose Lounge is around 80 people every Friday. My guess is that this number is well under 10% of the swinging population in the area. Just estimating. This only happens once a week. If we only consider the weekend as play time (Friday and Saturday), which is also an inaccuracy since people do meet weekdays and Sunday as well, that means that only 5% of the population of swingers is actually attending the swinger club scene on the weekends. Certainly not a majority by any means. Sinful is definitely a club scene. And maybe we should define "club". I will say that is an environment where there is a DJ or another form of music, often times on the loud side as people like to dance, has a dance area for such activities, and typically doesn't open until 9 or so at night. Sinful probably hosts on average 150 people on average (S&A, don't get mad if this number is off,lol) and these happen maybe once a month. Lets just round this high and say that is 20% of the swinger population. However, many that attend the Moose and other clubs are the same that attend Sinful. Similar crowd and often an overlap. So still nowhere near a majority, or even a large percent. In fact, quite the opposite. This scene is well in the minority. So I am submitting that this really isn't and accurate assessment of the situation and based on more of a sense or feeling than actual fact. What this tells us then is that most of the people in the lifestyle are not meeting at clubs and are not necessarily dancing and staying up until all hours of the night but are finding other avenues where they meet. What other options are out there. Venus Game night, Kandy K, Sensual Massage... These venues are not club scenes, are a relaxed place and quiet enough to talk without "using hand signals". There still might be music and a dance floor, but there are certainly quite areas to talk, socialize and sometimes even fuck, if that is your scene. I would estimate that as many or more people attend these type of events and for most of these it is an older crowd who is more apt to be in bed at an earlier hour, though that is also an assumption and assumptions are obviously a poor way to derive information or determine a truth. I would question if any of the people in this forum have attending these more mellow parties and what they didn't like about that. The loud music is gone, it is a great way to meet many nice, non-pushy people with similar interests and since the crowd is a bit more mature (probably not the Venus parties) then there would be people of similar interests there. Now it may be of benefit of the party hosts to start earlier, say 6 or 7, so the activities can finish up earlier and I'm sure the hosts would entertain that if it was a common complaint. Apart from these types of parties and club scenes the only other way to meet people in a group setting are house parties, although keep in mind the Sinful hosts to things outside of the club but the crowd will usually still be the same people who attend the Sinful Club parties so are probably younger and okay with staying up late and partying, so probably not for the majority of people responding on this forum looking for an early-to-bed group. Let's talk about house parties. The ones we host sometimes have upwards of 60 or 70 people. These are people we have met before, for the most part, and we don't invite random people to these. We have an area to dance, music, but also areas that are quiet. The party starts around 7 and goes until... whenever. 6 am at times, but many leave before that. These aren't orgy parties and people don't show up expecting that. We also do game nights where we have 3-5 couples over for games, drinks, no dancing, hot tub, etc. Also people we know. We have been to many house parties as well and it is usually people we have met before. We are very leery of parties where there is some expectation to show up and fuck. We avoid these. Not our scene. But these house parties are out there. The doors close at 9, naked by 10, fucking by 1015. You are expected to fuck someone. Definitely not for us but definitely an okay and acceptable thing for others. Judgment is such an incredibly hypocritical thing in the lifestyle and I am astounded by how many people judge others. It is one thing to not enjoy a certain thing and to stay away from it, but it demean it, negate the validity of it and try to reduce the people who do it is completely asinine. My point is there is a variety, a full spectrum to every aspect of the lifestyle. From people looking only to make friends to people only looking to fuck. There is no right and wrong or black and white. We have so many good friends now that we feel super fortunate and blessed every day. But how did we meet those friends. Here is the key. Through hard work. Through dinner dates, clubs, social events, house parties and networking. Remember, this is my opinion, so please, readers, don't get offended. If you limit yourself to one avenue your success will be limited and you will have very few options in finding that fun couple that you click with. Many of our friends that we have met at a club typically like to be in bed at 10, or sometimes like to stay up late. Some of the people we have met in the most casual environment turn out to be crazy, fun party animals. I'm not saying if you don't attend the clubs you won't find what you are looking for especially since we have already determined that the club scene is so small. What I am saying is that if you are expecting a one-stop shop, or a fix-all, your success will be super limited. Your goal, I believe, is to meet as many people as possible and then sort through those you like and don't like until you are satisfied with your results. If you label the "club scene" as negative in your own mind, you might also be inadvertently labeling other fun activities and only reinforcing the confirmation bias you already have. Don't limit yourself to one way of finding friends, especially since it sounds like it isn't working that well for you now. We have found friends in every imaginable situation. Single dates, group dates, vacations, house parties and yes, clubs. I know our way works simply by the amount of amazing people that surround us and we call friends, and yes, some friends with benefits. Taking the time to start a topic is a good idea. The people on here all seem to have a similar interest and maybe some of you will take advantage of that, meet, and if things align, you make new friends. Maybe there is a need for a group to form that meets around 6 and finishes around 10 where only wine is served and only soft music is playing in the background. If so, take the initiative and form such a group. Create your own success. Maybe there needs to be a better way to post smaller events where only a few couples are going camping, coffee drinking, or similar. And maybe it is on Swingular and just not being utilized correctly. I'm sure with enough feedback the site could be fitted with such a feature. So don't despair. There are many, many people with similar interests and needs. You just have to find them. Each scene and venue has positives and negatives. Try to focus on the negative and utilize the resources that they are and you just might find your holy grail of FWB or what else it is you are looking for. Good job on the topic and hopefully that perfect couple is just around the corner. Mr. SRO...................................................................................................