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Do you only play with married couples? - - Marriage has little to do with this lifestyle. I've found that swingers (libertines) are a state of being or mindset and not a label given to any one group. Singles can be swingers too. Unmarried couples can be as well. Swinger is a broad label. Marriage has nothing to do with it. -D-

Hey all you "totally secure couples" - Just in case you got it wrong you have methods to recover your loss. - Other than the law suit this is pretty typical of couples who try to "fix" or "spice-up" their failing marriage by swinging. They somehow foolishly think that having sex with other people will magically repair all the self-inflicted damage they've done to their relationship over the years. What they find out is it just intensifies all of it. It just gives them one more thing to argue about. I've read all the newspaper articles on this deal that I could find on Google News. This couple was already in divorce court and just didn't know it. They definitely were swinging to "fix" their screwed-up relationship. According to her, she didn't want to and he coerced and manipulated her into doing it. Of course this sounds great in court for her case. I think the truth is they both had one foot out the door and this was just the break they needed to get away from each other. "There must be 50 ways to leave your lover" type stuff. Unfortunately, they only strengthened what most people already think about swingers. You never hear the good stories, just the "swinging destroyed my marriage" or "I had some friends that tried swinging and they're now divorced." You look into it further though, and you always find out that they were already emotionally divorced, just not legally. Good riddance to this couple. They are truly boneheads.

Professionals - - That's just it Chibones: no we are NOT all looking for the same thing out of the lifestyle. People are as diverse as the imagination...and then some. And we have learned that in the lifestyle there are a myriad of things people want and don't want. No two couples are exactly the same and many are polar opposites. Some people do not want to limit the possibilities or their options. But MANY do want to limit them. Some...like yourselves...say almost nothing of substance about yourselves in their profiles. Others write auto-biographies. Some are looking for that one special couple or single. Some are looking to have sex with everything they get within arm's reach of. Some only want dark-haired ladies with large breasts. Others only want men over 50 years old and over 6' tall. Geographical and regional cultural differences play a strong role in how people craft profiles and conduct themselves in the lifestyle. In our town, you could not be a "professional" and be open about being a swinger. You would be harassed and heavily discriminated against in business. Preachers would tell their congregations not to patronize your business from the pulpit on Sunday mornings, and most of your customers would be church-goers who do what their pastors tell them. Your kids would be tormented in school. Interestingly, if you were an entertainer or a construction worker or truck driver, nobody would care. Your life would go on without incident. This isn't Safety Harbor, FL! (we used to live in St. Pete) The big fight right now in town is over the new Hilton hotel and whether or not they should be allowed to offer PPV adult movies in the hotel rooms. Also, we have a very large element of...how show we say...under-achieving whites...in the lifestyle in this region of the country. I would be willing to wager a month's pension check that you would not associate with them. By comparison, when we look at FL swinger profiles and talk to our FL swinger friends about it, we get the distinct impression that swinging is more of a middle class and upper class past-time down there. So, in a desire to both clue the right people in and not offend the rest, around here white collar couples tend to use the code-phrase, "We are a _________ professional couple who like to..." It's sort of a polite way of saying "No illiterate toothless hillbillies strung out on methamphetamines who cannot behave in public, please!" So, if "professional couple" offends your sensibilities, you should try walking in OUR shoes for awhile before judging us based on a phrase. Around here, a lawyer who is outed as a swinger would be in serious jeopardy of losing his bar certification. An elected official would be toast. A political appointee would be fired immediately. A real estate agent would see their business shrivel to nothing in weeks. A doctor would lose 3/4 of his patients within a month. And the funniest/saddest thing about it all is that we have one of the highest concentrations of swingers per capita in the US...3rd highest I believe. This is why PC thinking is so unwise. We judge others based on OUR realities and not usually on THEIRS. In a desire to encourage more "tolerance," we actually become intolerant of anything WE find the least bit offensive. Personally, I celebrate everyone's right to be offensive, wrong, and dumb. That doesn't mean I agree with them or enjoy their company, either. It just means I accept people for who they are and acknowledge their right to be who they want to be. It means I hold the individual's right to self-determination and freedom of expression above almost all other values. It means I am TOLERANT.

what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - Sorry, some people are just ill-mannered. The good news is there's a possibility that he's just new to it and hasn't learned how to act properly yet. I've seen the behavior before lol we all know how all you men have to be trained <<<<ducking>>>>

If only you could tell in public who is and isnt in the LS - - [quote=fourplay][quote=DARINTRICIA]There are phone apps that can show when others are nearby. I use one for hunting with the people I hunt with. So someone just needs to develop an app.[/quote] Super good idea![/quote] Several apps like that HAVE been developed. One was actually offered to members of another swing site we're on. It failed miserably because people wouldn't, for various reasons, use it. We never used it personally. Some people apparently thought the potential for being outed as swingers was too great to risk using it. Another app was written by a friend of ours and it supposedly had some safeguards in it that he had designed but Apple wouldn't allow it in their app store...I guess because it's purpose was to help people swap spouses. \_(ツ)_/¯

Divorce rates - How do we compare - We are a bit of an older couple with a different prospective. Amoung our swinging friends and aquaintances if we were to generalize it is that they are on a second marriage, have been married for 10 years or so and are very happy. Amoung our non-swinging friends they are on their first second, or third marriage and are generally unhappy. I would put the divorce rate amoung the non-swingers at more than double that of the swingers over a 10 year period.

Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - It always seems like the big groups of swingers are somewhere else! ;)

Can REAL FRIENDSHIPS in the Lifestyle TRULY exist? - More than just meeting and having fun - We believe you can have swinger friends as \"real\" friends. We have several couples that we consider to be our real friends. A couple of them, we have been to their house and they have been to our with both of our kids around and did as any other \"vertical\" couples would be. One couple especially, we\'ve been to their house with our kids and their kids were home on many occasions for a pool party, for labor day, for even their oldest\'s graduation, gone to a comedy club with other swingers as a group and just to get together and hang out. They have helped us move our belongings from house to house when we moved across town. We keep in touch alot even if its through a IM\'s on a messenger. The ones we consider friends are the people that want to be friends in and out of the bedroom. And we seem to pull it off with the right people that way. Just have to find the right combinations. Plus it seems the area we live in, we have a great community of swingers, so it makes it easier to be friends in/out of the bedroom. Jerry and Jen

STD testing and physicians - who and where - The Utah Aids Foundation in Sugarhouse does walk in testing Mondays and Thursdays. They test for HIV (rapid results, you get them before you leave the clinic), and chlamydia and gonorrhea for free. The chlamydia/gonorrhea are just urine for the free tests, and since they are localized infections, paying for the self collect oral/anal tests are worth it as well ($25/each), as people frequently have those without realizing and while testing clean with their urine tests. My one complaint with there is that they take a while to get results (about a week) and I felt a little talked down to when they pull you into a room to talk about safe sex and using condoms; however, that is a small price to pay for the service you are getting. While, as swingers, those are the two big ones to worry about, it is worth also going to your family physician to get tested for a full panel every few months (I do every 6/8 months for the full panel), since they aren't as common but can still affect people. If you need something quickly and want to avoid paying too much, the best experience I have had is actually at the Salt Lake County Health Department near downtown (http://slco.org/health/std-clinic/testing-treatment/). They charge per test, and they are the least judgmental and most sex-positive place I've found. The only downside is that they don't take insurance, so it doesn't count against your deductible, and getting an appointment can be hard, but they do take walk ins. Safe sex is fun sex, team! Let's all slut it up like crazy but keep it safe. We all have an obligation to police ourselves, and if something happens, take care of that shit!

Ldscouple74 - Are there any active LDS couples here - [quote=DANDTCURIOUS]LDS swingers? ...isn’t that’s like an oxymormon lol 😂🤣😂[/quote] No more so than Catholic swingers, or Baptist swingers, or Jehovah's Witness swingers or Muslim swingers (I could go on.). All of which we've met over the years. You can certainly question how someone might rationalize fucking other people recreationally with belief in any given religion, most of which I'm certain wouldn't condone swinging. But it's not really all that different from how most people in the vanilla world view sexual fidelity even when religion isn't in play.