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I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - Mr. and I have been in a committed poly relationship with another couple for 3 1/2 yrs. Both we and the other couple had been in the LS for 3-4 years before this. Our trajectories were different - Mr. and I were pretty bored with swinging. We had lots of fun adventures, but we both tend to crave more intimacy and I, in particular, don't find myself attracted to many men until I am intellectually attracted to them, and that generally takes more time and effort than the average swinger wants to put in. We had tried only dating unicorns for a year, and then went to more of an open style marriage (infrequent, but occasional hall passes. Sometimes with both members of the same couple, sometimes not). But even that wasn't as satisfying as I wanted and my interest in the LS was waning. That's when we stumbled upon our Others. We were at a vanilla swirl party (a few LS, mostly vanilla) and immediately picked them out as LS. What do you know, we clicked. I immediately was drawn to the husband, he to me, and our spouses soon felt the same. We began spending time together as a foursome pretty much from that day forward.
Their trajectory was different than ours. They were classic swingers--meet at a party, click, arrange sex or fuck then and there. Sometimes these people became friends over time, sometimes not. They didn't crave the intimacy we did; they enjoyed the spontaneity, excitement and variety. Their relationship was never open. No hall passes, almost always straight partner swap with another couple, but occasionally they would mix that up at a party situation. So it's kind of surprising that they ended up down this road of polyamory. We just clicked and loved every minute with each other and really never have wanted to be apart.
HOWEVER, we are all four still swingers in some way or another. It has become more apparent after the honeymoon phase has settled into a deeper, more real relationship. They occasionally still want that exciting fling. We do too, only less often as the stars REALLY have to align for me. Mr and I still occasionally like sex with a deeper connection. There have been moments when we resented their desire for casual sex. There have been moments when they resented our need for deeper connection. But in the end, like any LS couple, we were able to talk it through. And we were able to realize how all of us can be fulfilled and have our needs met. We just had to drop the jealousy and insecurity and really want to please the people we love.
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - Can't wait to join you Liz & Ron .. we have already met quite a few cruisemates already (online) ... we plan on needing a vaction when we get back!! see ya at the Green Iguana Saturday night before the cruise????
Mark & Kathy .. room 6131
OK LETS BE HONEST - - We got into the lifestyle because my wife was bi but didn't want to admit it to herself. Raised Catholic and it would be a mortal sin?????? All she had to do was see a woman naked and she got totally wet... I was aware of this for years but she insisted not.. We started going to a club to the socials and she loosened up slowly. At some point one of the women took her to her room and they got it on.. Then she went with another women and got it on another time... I didn't care that I wasn't there because it was for her not for me anyway. So now we are in the lifestyle at her whim... It was never about me in the first place... The lifestyle has made her more open to herself and freer, more able to talk about sexual things.
In the 9 or so years that we've been in the lifestyle I learned that while many times men get their wives into the lifestyle it is the wives that keep them in the lifestyle. Further, women completely control the lifestyle. It's kind of like the old expression; "If a man says he's boss at home, I wonder what else he lies about". The lifestyle is much like that. From discussions with other swingers I find that just a many wives get their husbands involved in the lifestyle as mwn do. I don't know about other places like UT or CO or TX but in NC, SC, VA, and many in FL the women rule the lifestyle and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Ladies, please let everyone know who rules... and it's not pork fat, as one TV chef says...
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - WE are 42m 39f, always open to talking to attractive couples around our age!
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - Sorry, some people are just ill-mannered. The good news is there's a possibility that he's just new to it and hasn't learned how to act properly yet. I've seen the behavior before lol we all know how all you men have to be trained <<<<ducking>>>>
Identifying Swingers! - Lots of talk and now some action! :) - I have one and I wear it all the time. My husband is getting one to. We think they are awesome, and a good way to know if they are in the lifestyle or not:)
What would you do? - what does a person do when their spouse no longer wishes to paticipate - SPALD,
Swinging is a recreational thing. It should never define your relationship. As in anything in life, you have to be fluid, dynamic and open-minded, all while realizing your limits and the limits of your partner. Swinging is not a neccessity. Before we all made it real, it was a fantasy. No one can convince me that fantasies must be a reality or we'll all die. If that were the case, then the only people on earth would be rich or those that care nothing for material things. Healthy swinging is something you can pick-up and lay down. If you need to swing, I think you are in it for the wrong reasons. I think "lifestyle" is a bad word. This is not a lifestyle. It's a sexual choice. We don't live to swing or swing to live. We swing because we are horny and want some strange. There is nothing mysterious about it. We are sexual creatures and swingers just do not allow religious (moral) restraint to interfere with their sex life. That's my opinion.
-Don-
FUCK going to the gym! - - Naw. But we do go to Gold's Bountiful. It's FULL of crazy sexy swingers so ya gotta bring yer "A" game and walk the walk. Otherwise you might as well just stay home and get high. [em]Emo_86[/em] [em]Emo_51[/em]
RV Swingers? - - [quote=REDROCKCOUPLE]Well, shortly the wife and I will be buying a new RV and traveling full time for a few years. Is there anyone from the lifestyle that are full timers? We are pretty excited to get out and travel some and meet new peeps.[/quote]hey swing pun intended by our place
Seeking mormon swingers - - I used to be Mormon
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