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what if I want to but he doesn't - - [quote=NU2THEGAME]the worst part is that I consider myself intelligent with good common sense, so why can't i repress this- why is this so important to me right now? my hormones are taking over my common sense!! don't want to ruin a marriage for a cheap thrill- but also know that sex is a very important part of a marriage... part of it i'm sure is that I've been with him since i was 14..... i know this.[/quote]
There are many little things that we all do without that do not really affect our lives to any degree. But sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things. I would say that you have found one of yours.
I sounds like you are telling us that you everything your husband wants sexually. But there is something you need that you are not getting sexually. We could guess as to what that is but it would not help to guess. You need to examine and define what it is that you are lacking. Otherwise all we can do is talk in generalities. Some people only feel safe when things are neatly defined and unchanging.
I think that most swingers will tell you that sexually we get into a rut or pattern with any lover and that for many of us that is like the end of life. Most will also tell you that this lifestyle helps to keep you feeling alive and part of the world. You learn knew things from different people and your world opens wider.
Marriage changes how many think or act. Why that is would take many pages off topic. A marriage like good government should be one of give and take and compromise. Once one side had decided not to compromise or find a solution that makes their partner happy, then they have decided that the marriage is no linger important.
As an example: A woman once told me that after marriage her husband only touched her once a year on a specific day. The rest of the time he was a cold fish. That is all he wanted and what she wanted did not matter. In a way that was sexual abuse of the worst magnitude. To choose a celibate life for one
Bubulaplease - Sandy station? - We went to Sandy Station and were immediately approached by someone who knew we were swingers. I guess we just give off the " I'll fuck the shit out of you." vibe. That being said, we loved the club, the ambience,(except the music) but the people were super nice. Can't wait to go back.
Naughty Horoscope - - Both Scorpios (despite our STATED birthdates...yeah we're sneaky that way). Sounds like Ms. Evil and I should be pretty much fucking each other to death 24/7...oh wait. THAT'S why were such lame swingers. Nothing left in the tank for anyone else.[em]Emo_49[/em]
This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - Great time! Can't wait until next year. Thanks to all who worked to make it happen.
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - In my experience, try to ask an innocent question, as in, 'Have you ben to *insert name of local swing club*?'
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - You know what's funny about DVP is if you are with the right couple, DVP is actually not that big of a deal as far as the comments about "not wanting to touch another guy's dick. When you are in this situation, you aren't thinking about the other guys dick. You are more focused on what she is experiencing. It's very hot to see a woman in total sexual bliss while she is stuffed full with two cocks. Although, you have to be somewhat selective and don't try it with two monster cocks if she isn't used to it. That can be more uncomfortable for her than fun. DVP is very hot if you take your time, get her ready for it, lots of foreplay etc.. And for the guys with this macho, homophobic hangup, c'mon already, you know more than anyone if you are gay or not. If you're not, you should be comfortable. I think the guys that have homosexual tendencies are the most hung up about getting labeled homosexual just because they touched another guys dick. If my wife is having fun and getting off on the situation, I don't care what I'm touching. I'm all about pleasing her..
Mormons - - Ahh...gotcha!
I have a personal "testimony" of the fact that there ARE indeed MORE than 50 real swingers in Utah! I've had a personal witness of this and my bosom burns, and I know this to be true with every fiber of my being...:)
(Utah mormon-based humor there)
~J~
Swinging versus poly/open - - I'm speculating here, but it seems the millennial generation as a whole is more open to an open/poly relationship, and it naturally is bleeding into Swingular as more and more younger/ish couples sign up.
We started out with very strict rules about emotions for others, ect. Now, we find ourselves on a spectrum where we still occasionally love the "wham bam, thank you mam" aspects of swinging (what were their names again...😁?), but after several years of that, we are now far more interested in developing relationships with the people we meet. Sometimes that means we have really good friends with benefits, however neither of us are closed to the possibility of dating the right person.
And I don't believe dating others leads to divorce, however not being honest and failing to communicate certainly does. And that applies to swingers and monagamous couples alike.
Swingers' club to shut after disabled access complaint - - goes to the old adage that you should do the job right the first time....
Certified Single Male Program - What do you think? - I personally see this life style as a community. The Good, the Bad; and the Ugly are all here in microcosm. I think we can all use a little education and improvement. That does not mean that anyone person that takes that instruction will change his or her ways. But it does not hurt to try it. I have read the information that is available here and think that everyone should do so. I believe that such a program will limit the population of single men by keeping some of those that are here only for trophy sex out. Those that really believe in the lifestyle as a community will be willing to put forth the effort to be part of it. I think this will actually increase the number of couples and swinging singles that are willing to join and pay money for the privilege.
Swingular actually feels like a site for swingers where AFF has become nothing but a sex site for those that like to look and send emails. If you think that the number of single males is large here you should look there and I assume that most of you have. The majority of the women and couples there are non-paying. It does not appear that this is the case on Swingular. The admin here seem to care about this community and AFF could not care less. The fact that they are willing to put this out in open forum tells me that they do care about their customers. I have not seen the same from other sites.
I would like admin to put something more solidly together and then let us pick at it. Most systems can and should be tweaked from time to time. Maybe we can make some good observations and maybe we won
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