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Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=LAPUA]That's the way it's been for us too. Have given our phone # to a few couples that have said they really want to meet. Haven't heard for them yet but tell ya the couples we have met have been great there's been very few. Still looking for them repeat couples and the one's that are looking for fun in and out of the bedroom. Where the hell are they????[/quote]
How close is too close - - FITZNBELINDA
Actually, swinging will very quickly bring out and magnify flaws in a relationship, even in good relationships. The difference is that a good relationship/marriage will use this info to increase the trust and communications and make that relationship stronger.
You asked about swingers as compared to the general public... The divorce rate in the general public is between 66 and 77% depending on which figures you are looking at.. THis is both for 1st and 2nd marriages. Approx 70% of all married people, both male and females, in the general public, now will admit to extramarital affairs. Since extramarital sex is the essence of swinging that is not an issue but marriages in the swinging community are stable approximately 85% of the time or only 15% of swingers marriages fail... as compared with 75% failure in the general public... In other words non swingers are 340% more likely to get divorced than swigners... or 3.4 times as likely.
Respect is one thing but sometimes Stuff just happens. We don't ask for it we are not open for it but still it still happens.... My love for others has no effect on my wife and my relationship.. She understand who I will be going home with and that I don't wish to cause others grief.. If people are honest with themselves as well as others and you respect people enough to understand what's going on and care about their feelings you just walk away before any damage is done...
Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - I am certain that insecurity has no bearing on the decisions that we make in regard to the lifestyle. What you are suggesting simply isnt for us. We take so much from being in close proximity to each other during our encounters that it would render the experience...perhaps ackward or fruitless, for lack of a better term.
There is a reason that so many couples run from the possibility of what you call \"full swap\". Many years ago when we were first introduced to the lifestyle, \"full swap\" entailed having sexual intercourse with another couple. \"Soft swap\" meant oral play or touching only, no intercourse. Perhaps the deffinition has changed over the years...
I am certain that what you are describing is closer to what traditional polyamory is all about. In fact, there is a reason why the couples that you approach about this subject \"run like the wind\" as you call it. More times than not, it has proven to be destructive to the relationships in question. Best intentions or not, we are all human. Shit happens. Most seasoned swingers know this, and avoid this situation at all costs.
Most of the relationships that we have seen over the years that were as you describe ended in ruin. Most of the people that we have known to consider this method were (coincidentally) new swingers, who had not yet developed a sense of direction or an identity in the lifestyle. There are some mistakes that you can make in the lifestlye without jeopadizing your standing with your mate. There are some that you simply can not. What you are suggesting to other couples, while it may seem like something that would be fun and cool, has proven to be atleast problematic to many other people.
Just our .02 cents.
Best of luck to you both.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:D
Swingers Club - Swingers Club - Looking to visit a swingers club for the first time? The closest to utah that can be consider a great experience is the scarlet ranch in Denver. Look it up. It is worth the trip.
Which Motorcycle Survey? - In the market and want your opinion... - Oh, I have strong thoughts on this subject folks. And I am really doing my homework and shopping very thoroughly. I'm taking my time because I won't be buying until Feb/Mar at the earliest. And I've been watching the Can-Am develop over the past 3 years now. One of our nearby dealers carries them alongside Big Dog Choppers and Suzuki. Interesting line-up.
It's not that what others think will make my decision or unduely influence it, but I am interested in reading others' opinions and thoughts to compare to my own. And I'm checking with a few different demographic groups. Let's face it: swingers tend to march to the beat of their own drum more than most folks! LOL
I brought up the "cool factor" and image stuff in the context of what our own perceptions are of bike culture. I mentioned that we are cruiser types, not crotch-rocket people. I wear western style riding boots and a black leather jacket. But my jacket has armor inserts, all the modern upgrades, and even reflective piping on a traditional cruiser jacket frame. I wear a Bell military-style open face helmet and goggles. My wife rides a blacked out (Raven) 2011 Star Stryker. So we sort of blend the old w/the new a bit. I guess I'm hesitant about the style change.
Thanks for the input and please keep it coming. You're helping me cogitate. LOL
How to find other swingers - - Great idea...
what color would a straight single male wear?
Is it a “preference” or is it “ discrimination” - - [quote=massageBBCguy]Omg.. seriously?
Ok. I am really getting tired of all this.. if you don’t then you are a racist.
Ok swingers and single.. let’s push Congress to re-amend the 1964 Civil rights act to create a new cause of action “Failure to fuck a minority” and create a federal regulation requiring members to post “I am an Equal Opportunity Swinger”..
I hope this helps. Ugh...[/quote]
I’m not saying because they are not getting fucked I get plenty fucked. I think you mis understood me.
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - oh my blondone.... i know where i'd love to be located;)
tired of the B>S> - - The only chance we have of meeting fakes is if the couple at the club or party turns out to be transsexual dwarfs and were fooled by their elevator shoes making them look taller. We have been around this stuff a good while. Actually we have never tried to meet a couple on this website, we gave that approach to meeting long before this website came to be. (I know my ass doesn't look that old but it is trust me)
Fakes have always plagued these boards, it was FAR WORSE when you didn't have the verification systems in place and while these are good they are still not a guantaree you are dealing with the real deal. The now infamous "Christylynn" was certified as a "real couple" and technically they were a "real couple" just not what you had planned on. You can e-mail someone back & forth till your fingers bleed but your will not truly know what's behind door number two until they walk through the door.
The best way to try and eliminate fakes and flakes is obviously to meet them in person. The only way to hope to be successful is NOT to plan an evening out with ONE COUPLE. We are fortunate enough to have a variety of swingers clubs and organized lifestyle parties in our area to use as a place to meet where we can not only see the couple we can SEE the couples interaction. (This is the part that helps you avoid the flakes) This works great for people like the original poster who lives in West Palm Beach Florida and this is what I recommend.
For those who live in Alta, Utah (Pop.304) this approach is not so good. You fine folks in Alta will probably have to do a little more on-line work to round up some party people. (Just start with real seal at MINIMUM and work it from there...good luck.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - This isn't good, and no I do not expect anything close to "Fair & Balanced". That is why many of us prefer to keep it quiet and just between Us. Nothing on TV has ever made the Lifestyle look good or healthy, which is how many of us feel that are in it. Expect to be ambushed at some Party location in the near future, somebody will want to make more of this. Sorry for the negative view, I am hoping it isn't that way.
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