Belfast Swingers in Maine

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Ways to point out Swingers in public - - We’ve also heard the black ring on right hand thing (no middle finger, that signifies asexuality). Mine is a black version of The One Ring from LOTR but I’m a geek.

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Wow! It's adorable to read the comments of those 20 through 40's. We remember those years. There are times that memories of incontrolable thrusts and unconscious passion give pause, but experience... though overstated is under-rated. Though there are some "young'uns" out there that appreciate the gentility of exploring "water flow naturally to seek its level, impulses more often drive than draw." A young, (or young in experience) lady sometimes welcomes a partner who has gotten past the self-serving impulses of youth. As well, a young buck who seeks to find his stride can benefit from being unthreatened by the challenges of unknown expectations and often finds the same growth. The true deciding factor is, "are you into the trip, or just obsessed with reaching a destination you've never been to? A true sensualist finds pleasure in the textures of a rose petal and burlap to be different... but equal.

Invatation to swingers. - open letter against Dr. Phil - Below is a copy of my post to Dr. Phils boards concerning the evils of swinging.His mods would not let it be posted as written. Gee I wonder why. I considered addressing this post to Dr. Phil, but as I do not think he really cares what anyone other than himself thinks, feels, or believes anyway, I will simply post it. The last time I checked, Dr. Phil was a man not unlike any other. He does not possess superhuman strength or any other ability. He is simply a man. It is not responsible, In My opinion, to ever assume that ones beliefs are the only, or correct beliefs. There is a huge difference between believing something and knowing it to be fact and Dr. Phil, again, just my opinion, lets himself forget that. I would not be upset if Dr. Phil said,

BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - Now this IS Terry. OMG, did I unleash a monster when I put a profile on Fetlife.com for her? Just kidding, she's an angel. Even if there might be just a touch of devil, or at least imp. Anyway, that didn't work out as well as hoped, like Evil said, most fetish groups don't swing, their events aren't usually about sex, just discussions, socializing, and demonstrations, with people doing scenes with the people they're already in a BDSM relationship with. And before someone asks me "well, why don't you just ...", it's simple. She's into some things I'm not and in that life, if you aren't really into something, even if you do know what to do and how to do it, you can't really be a very good Dom. Since the guy is supposed to make the girl happy, I did the Fetlife profile for her. The first thing a new person who's interested in some BDSM group will get told is "We don't swing", that he/she isn't going to be able to go to an event or even party and hook up with someone, that even if he/she gets invited to participate in someone's scene (it does happen occasionally) it isn't likely to culminate in actual sex. Which makes it difficult for someone who wants her BDSM to be part of actual sex. One thing though, Evil. The Fifty Shades of Gray phenomenon notwithstanding, BDSM is more secretive than swinging. Anyone who finds a swing event online can attend, unless he's a single male and it's a no single males thing. Not so with BDSM. Fetlife, for example, has more than one sub-group that sponsors events. You can find the events on the site, but you can't just go to them. You have to be sponsored by someone from that group. And not everyone in the group, people who themselves have been through the process and can attend the group's events without a sponsor, can even be a sponsor. There are always specific requirements and a process of some sort to go through to become approved to sponsor new people. There's still a stronger stigma attached to BDSM than there is to swinging, and the potential consequences to being outed are more severe, especially in a place like Utah. So the people are much more cautious than are swingers, and swingers don't exactly put up billboards ads on the highway. ~ Terry

25 Ways to tell if youre a REAL Swinger - - LOL oh how very accurate that is so many of those do apply guess we qualify as swingers :)

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - ...that all depends on who you ask! If you feel good about who you are, how you live your life, how you treat others... then yes, you are a moral being (if you weren't you'd feel it)... xoxo, a very moral CandeeMe ;)

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Well regardless of what some folks say, age is a determining factor, especially when you reach the, "remind me of my dad" attitude, or even "you could be my grandfather"....well let me share that when I was 70, I flew to california and made love with a 32 year old beauty, most of the night, and her two comments were, " you should really start a school teaching young guys how to fuck", and " I have never in my life has this many climaxes in one night !" and I was obviously old enough to be her grandfather...so I guess...you are free to gravitate to whoever turns you on, but honestly, more often than not the older ones are far more appreciative of the situation and will work harder to make certain you are satisfied cause by now have learned to take care of their own needs, in their own time, but always AFTER YOU, as a partner are not only satisfied, but usually exhausted. I have paid membership in FOUR different sites, in an attempt to find a "friend with benefits"since the passing of my wife...she and I had an extremely active sex life prior to her developing cancer which curtailed her abilities to share, but I am still alive, I am still going, I still love sex and I am 74 years old. And after months of being told I am too old, I am still looking because making love is no less important to me than any other teenager...*S*

RV Swingers? - - If our new business venture doesn't work out we may be living in a van, down by the river.. Does that count? Bob

Hey all you "totally secure couples" - Just in case you got it wrong you have methods to recover your loss. - that was entertaining, but notice the host's conception of swingers. anyways... "I'll sue your ass!"

Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - (from Terry) And now I'm starting to understand why Evil and I seem to have senses of huimor that sometimes run in the same direction. It's because, in at least some pretty important ways, we see the world in the same way. I'm here for two reasons. First, I was doing this for a while back when it was one Hell of a lot harder than it is now for single men, they were very nearly completely excluded from the lifestyle which, then, was usually called, by both those inside and outside of it, "wife swapping". The very title, and the basic premise of things then, essentially disqualified single men. Now I'm talking about the late '70s and early '80s. Actual "hippiedom", and the free love philosophy was either diminishing, dying off, or dead, depending on where in the country you were. But we'd managed to change society's general view of some things, and sex was one of the biggest. The attitude change, especially on the part of women, who were no longer automatically "sluts" if they enjoyed sex and didn't need to be married, or engaged, or even "going steady" to indulge, together with effective and easily available birth control (illegal in every state until sometime in the early '60s, even condoms were ostensibly sold as and were labeled as being specifically for "disease prevention", and no worries about deadly and/or incurable STDs had changed the world, and birthed what is often referred to as a "sexual revolution". It was almost like falling off a log to go out on a weekend and find an amenable girl. So why the Hell was I bothering with the "wife swapping" world, when it was so damned difficult to even penetrate, let alone to "get something"? For the same reason I was one of those long-haired (except for my 3 years in the Army) hippie freak. I LOVE people who ignore what the rest of the world is telling them to do or not to do, and I want to be around them. Yeah, there are all sorts of individual exceptions, but, for the most part, as compared to the vanilla people, swingers are more intelligent, more likely to use their heads for something besides a hat rack, and, despite the various complaints about certain kinds of people or actions that pop up here, a Hell of a lot less judgmental and intolerant of people who aren't the same as they are. They, again as a general rule, think for themselves, and don't just latch on to the currently popular opinion about whatever. Why I'm here now is that I'm married to a girl 24 years younger than me, who happens to enjoy a couple things I can do but which I'm not really into, and she's at that so-called female sexual peak point in her life. And I figure that my main purpose in the world is to do everything I can to make her as happy as she can be. Being witches, we don't have the standard "you belong to me and only me" attitude about our life partners, we don't think sexual fun with some other person does a damned thing to diminish our relationship; if I have sex with Jane Doe or she has sex with John Smith (and maybe Jane Smith, too), we are still the same people afterwards that we were beforehand. So getting back into it, and bringing her into it, was a great way to help her have the kinds of fun she likes, and for me to hang around with a group of people that I really like. And meet and play with girls I really like. I'm one of those weird guys who does read the profiles before looking at the pics, and even once in a great while even send off an email before I've even seen any of the pics besides the main profile pic. It's just a lot more important who she is and what she's like than it is what she looks like. And I'll find lots more girls that I like and respect here than I ever could in the vanilla world. One thing about what Team said, though. Swinging can bring out and amplify problems in a relationship. But avoiding that is just a question of attitude. First, you have to absolutely trust in your partner's honesty with you. Even though the Mrs. has a hall pass, the only provision being that I meet any guy she might play with before she does, so I can feel like she's going to be safe with him, I know I'd be really upset if she ever started messing around with someone on the side without me even knowing it was going on. But In don't ever even worry about that actually happening, because I trust her completely. Just like she trusts me, not only to not start a secret "affair" with someone, but to never try to even influence who she does or doesn't play with. She knows that when I meet some potential playmate of hers, even if for some reason I think he's a total jerk, I'm not going to say anything. She's the one who will be playing with him, not me, so it's her job, not mine, to decide who's worth playing with. She knows the only time I'll have anything to say about whether she should or not is if I get an impression somehow that the guy can't be trusted to treat her well, and not ever hurt her, ever do or try to do anything she doesn't want. Point is, if you both don't totally trust each other, you're likely to have problems, even if neither of you ever actually does anything sneaky. The second thing is that you can't have the "normal" attitude about your partner, where you feel he or she is in a way your property, and if anyone else uses your property, you're being stolen from. You can't have that feeling that sex equates to love, the kind of love that makes someone want to permanently be with someone. else. If you feel that way, you'll end up worrying that having sex with another person might make him or her decide they've found a better companion, and leave you. Sex is something that goes with that permanent relationship kind of love, but it isn't what determines it. If you can't truly see, and feel, that sex itself is just another enjoyable activity that you do with people you like, just another form of friendship based intimacy like discussing some problem you have with a friend, you're probably going to have problems. If you're at all, in any way or for any reason, at all uncomfortable with your partner having sex with other people, or he or she is uncomfortable with you doing it, then you're probably going to run into difficulties. So it's all a matter of attitude. If you and your partner are truly completely fine with the other having sex with someone else, and if you both trust each other completely, swinging isn't going to destroy your relationship. If both of those attitude type things are not really and truly true for either of you, then it just might. And about that 70 years old thing, Hell, I'm only 6 years away from it, and I haven't yet run into any indications of decline. So far, the girls I've ended up in the bedroom with have been happy with the results. While I haven't yet (thank the Goddess), had to just rely on that ages old bit of wisdom, the one that says "when you're too old to cut the mustard, you can always lick the jar", it ain't everyone that can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, and I suppose that might be helping me out, but, then again, that always helps out, no matter how young you are [em]Emo_4[/em] But just in case that needing to be taken care of bit is one of those things that happens all of a sudden, like maybe it hits you at one minute past midnight on your 70th birthday, I think I better get Evil to hook me up with those friends of his, so we can have that room all arranged for and booked. Only Evil's limiting himself. I want 3 if those insatiable 22 year olds, one redhead, one blonde, and one brunette. When I commit suicide, I want it to be a truly memorable event, even though I won't be around to remember it. [em]Emo_45[/em] I mean, we can set up cameras and stuff in there, then my wife can get it all edited into a good porn flick, and the proceeds can help her out, in case we haven't managed to find her a nice sugar daddy by then.