Seco Swingers in Kentucky

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This lifestyle - What are we really? - Great thought out comments to this posting ThoughtGarden, and we have to agree with you 100%. We love (but don't ever think that would be romantically- LOL), and miss you guys. A good topic to discuss. As for us, we count ourselves as "Fantasyers" that have things we want to experience and do so with the people that we enjoy (and or love) spending time with. Swingers (hard core) may be at one end on one leg, and Poly may be at the other end and on another leg, but we like being at the "Y" and in the middle, whatever that is labeled. :p

How to hotwife? - My wife wants to become a hotwife - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]There is a small Salt Lake City centric Hot Wife Play Group in the group section of this site. https://swingular.com/groups.php?_a=view&_GID=436 We have not used the group to sponsor meet and greets, but some members have had success making connections and hooking up. We would not be opposed to holding meet and greets, but the two of us really don’t have the time to make those arrangements. It’s a relatively small group. There are some great couples and some great guys involved. The group's description is as follows: "This is a group specific to Hot Wife Play in and around Salt Lake City. You either have to live in or near Salt Lake City or be a frequent visitor. [b][u]Single men must have a recommendation from a member couple[/u][/b].[b] All members must be verified as "Real" or "VIP" before admittance into the group. [/b] "Hot Wife" is often used synonymous with the term Cuckold, but it is NOT how most swinger couples view "Hot Wife Play" and not at all what this group is about. Hot Wife Play for most of the swingers we know in Salt Lake City, is where the husband feels he has the hottest woman in the world, and wants to share her, and the wife enjoys all the erotic attention his devotion and fantasy creates for her. When in the mood, swinger couples are not looking for a sexual replacement for the husband, but rather a sex life enhancement adventure to share that includes a single man. The single man lucky enough to be a part of this sort of thing must be very respectful. The stuff of fantasy! Not all men measure up. Our wives don't want to be with physically or emotionally mediocre men. Husbands don't want to watch their wives with mediocre men. Polite, respectful, attractive, intelligent and good humored single men can do well in the swing community. Single men need to take the emphasis off of "Hot Wife" as a singular devotion or lifestyle for couples that say "yes" to single men. Consider it more of a fantasy and a pleasure for couples to make a reality, when and if, that is what they desire, and a single man can be part of that reality. Couples swing in other realms and often prefer couples hook ups most of the time. In other words, let's not consider it any more than what it is, a fantasy, and a possible reality that couples can use to hopefully enhance their relationship and single men can use to have sex with an incredibly passionate and orgasmic woman. Swinger couples, like us, sometimes wish to focus our attention on our hot wife's sexual fulfillment. She is so sexy that watching her in passion's full embrace, with another man can be extremely rewarding and erotic. As for me I watch until I can no longer wait to join in and ravish her. When a woman is just so sexually hot, that she is a gift to the world, and her passions and her orgasms cross over into the realm of the sacred, then encouraging select gentlemen, to join in such divine worship of a hot wife's sexuality is a total fucking blast!! That is what this group is about!! Additional tips for single men wishing to join the group : Look good Smell good Have a sense of humor Be respectful Don't be pushy Don't be whiny Be patient Be honest Be healthy Be confident Be willing to host" [/quote] we were unaware of this group and would love to be added

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - CLASSY: Good topic! :) Neither Siren nor myself have set any specific rules about time parameters being met before we'll play with a couple, but as always with many things in life...our playing has it's dynamics and nuances, which are always evolving. So, to respond to a few of the questions you posed: Fear of STD's? Not specifically. Fear of thinking of ourselves as sluts? Absolutely not. Sometimes sluthood is fun! Fear of others thinking we are sluts? We don't and have never given a patoot about what others think of us. Values, morals? No way! We are "swingers" after all, and besides...we've both spent our time in an organized "forum" (former mormons), worrying about whether or not we were being "worthy" or if Jesus was happy with us; we're sooo done with that! Do we have to BBQ before we'll fuck someone? What's the point of that? Besides...sometimes through the interaction of a BBQ you realize, "I really don't wanna boink this person." If our kids have played together? Nah...children fall outside of the spectrum of the specific lifestyle. They're part of the social nature when we're not swinging with those that we have met during the course of our experiences. It's all good. Is random sex scary? Well, yes it is...or it CAN be...but especially if you don't practice wisdom and are not reasonable by indulging in indiscriminate sex with EVERYONE you come across. There are some seriously scary-ass people out there! This question is along the same lines as the first question of fear of STD's. Taboo? Well, hell...yes it is...and I believe that is part of the intrigue; part of the whole mind-game of swinging. Bottom line: Siren and I have been known to play on first dates, and we've been known to wait a long time, and as can be expected have had a grab-bag of results. We never carry an agenda or ulterior motives (expectations) when we socialize or meet people. We can draw no conclusion using the good vs. bad experiences and if they were a first-time play or not. We do, however, go with how we feel at any given moment and at any given event. You know...sometimes it just feels right and sometimes, the Mo-Jo is simply not there. ~J~

Logan - Vasa gyms - [quote=Utahldscouple]Cardio theatre is where are most of the time 😀. Question is do you show porn or just have a camera showing what everyone is doing in the sauna in the screen?[/quote] Too many cameras in my gym for the adventures y'all are talking about! And a swingers only gym would be a great workout. Like a crossfit/HIIT gym but worse.

Las Vegas Swingers club - - Do you have to make reservations or do you just show up?

Comfort level of casual vs relationships? - - [quote=heathencouple]We are still fairly new to this whole lifestyle shindig; just under a year. Trying to figure what aspects we like, don’t like and are just meh. I’m curious though, when it comes to forming emotional connections with other people how open are you to the idea? If it’s a scale of 1 - 10. One being completely casual, “what was your name again” sex and two being “I deeply love you and want you to come live with me and my other two wives” sort of deal... where do you fall? ::: For us we are discovering that we prefer the more connective experiences and don’t shy away from words like “love” or “relationship”. But we also love just super casual fun experiences. All of it entirely contingent on the people involved. So not quite true swingers but also not quite true poly. Trying to see how common or uncommon that is.[/quote] Oh man if two is come live with me and my two other wives I can't imagine what 10 is ;). For us we definitely don't need "feelings" involved but I do want to have some sort of connection with the other people. I dont think I could do a wham bam thank you ma'am type of situation. That being said we have played on the first meeting so idk that probably makes me a hypocrite 🤷‍♀️

Travel and first time - - Your comments make me wonder if you should be in this lifestyle at all. Controlling how close you get to someone is part of the territory. You solve that like any other problem by talking and making decisions togheter. One time threesomes are as often a flop as they are a thumbs up encounter. A lot depends on what you are looking for along that line. If you have never had one you may not even know exactly what you are looking for. The two of you need to sit down and discuss what you want to have happen. For some it is just the size of the dick while the opposite end of the spectrum is some skill and the two of you working together to give her an earth shaking experience. But, unless you are a minute man and pretty lousy in giving her what she needs in the bedroom I would not worry too much about it. But that is just me. If you are a stingy tight wad, or abuse her, or just a general putts and the two of you are always fighting then you might have a lot to fear. Swingers do get divorced but stats will show that there is just as much danger from someone in your neighborhood that you do not know about than there is from a swinging with a couple that you know. In general you will find that relationships in and out of this lifestyle are a funny and complex thing. There is no such thing as a typical relationship. In general, although someone might give up a bad marriage for a relationship with someone else that is a better spouse. it is rare that someone gives up a good marriage just for someone else that is just better in bed.

Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - IF they say no, say neither have I, but have heard good things. If they say yes, explain how much you enjoy it because of _______________. Saying hello and how are you doing tonight opens the door to discussion, however, if the goal is to ascertain lifestyle participation or not, it won't accomplish that.

Game for Swingers - Has anyone heard of a new game for lifestyle couples called Titillation? - We are looking for feedback from swingers who have played Titillation (www.titillationgame.com).