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Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
swingers resort - - Hey guys -
yep, there is a place outside of Palm Springs in Desert Hot Springs called Sea Mountain Inn. I think that is what you are referring to. There are couples (single females...no single men allowed) and it's ALL age groups. It's mainly 35-50. We have been there twice. Loved it both times. Look it up on the internet and read their forums and information pages. It will give you a lot of info. If that is what your looking at, let us know. We'd be glad to give you as much info and you wanted. We can't wait to go back.
Scott & Laura
Here's something Ive been curious about - - I think over the years we've pretty much seen and heard it all in regards to this subject and who is and isn't a "real" swinger. It kind of all boils down to semantics, doesn't it? Is it really that important to label it and each other? If swinging is a more of a mindset then yes, singles (male and female) are swingers too. I think, perhaps, that what some of the couples might be trying to get at (inelegantly IMO) is that in many ways perhaps singles don't really have as much invested in the process as couples do. As a swinging couple (remember it used to be called "wife swapping") you are in effect opening your relationship to some very real risk. If you don't think that's the case you either are in denial or haven't been around the scene that long. Singles simply aren't running the same risk although it could be argued they do have some risks, especially single females who at very least have some safety issues going into sometimes unknown situations alone. I guess you could argue single males also have a few risks as well. Also, of course, there is the whole argument of singles "not bringing anything to the table". An oft quoted argument to denote they don't have a partner to "swap". True enough in some regards but not entirely true in that they bring themselves and variety to the table for those couples not looking for a couples swap or who want to fulfill other fantasies or who have difficulty finding a fourway connection or attraction. Ultimately I think it's unnecessary for couples who don't want to play with singles (most often it's just single guys, a double standard perhaps?) to diss singles by saying they aren't swingers. And it's also probably not necessary for a few singles to complain that they aren't given an equal place at the table when they indeed do not come prepared to risk the same that couples must risk. Bottom line. Swing how you want to swing and don't swing how you don't want to swing. There's actually room for everyone even if we aren't all necessarily sitting at the same table.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - I am gonna suggest Pleasluvmybigdick as a new name..
BTW you seem like a nice guy and I dont know why people hate on you but since you asked about potential problems I figured my two cents was as good as the next...
female AGE turn on-off - - Yes indeed , i know the females disagree with the concept of cheating and dislike my advice , my reply was intended to the men on this site , you will not find a marriage consular nor a family therapist that will not advice the way i did , in a private practice you would pay $ 250 per hr. for 2 hour the minimum for this advice ,my dear swingers ,you got it for free ! enjoy fucking and cheating;)
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - My family (both sides) knows bits and pieces. I've basically let them know that it's our business not theirs and left it at that. We went thru a phase where they weren't very nice about certain things, but now they mostly keep their opinions to themselves on that issue. *shrugs*
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - The news has never been about balance. They have to keep up with what public perception is. Or they create the public perception they want. Lets not talk about Utah having the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation... or the fact that Utah and all of the wonderful enlightened mormons have a higher divorce rate than the rest of the nation... Lets talk about one lady. Obviously confused about more than her weight, with a bad marriage to start with. Who as a mormon, decided to "swing" to fix her marriage! Get this woman in a facility and FAST! ... We have enjoyed the lifestyle for a number of years and have an amazing marriage and are very much in love. Which according to her and this news piece is just not possible! God I love Utah sometimes...
Have you noticed? - Admin. doesn't give a SHIT!!! - Hmmm, yeah I think everyone has noticed but I'm not really sure that it makes all that much difference at this point. Swingsites are slowly dying and will, in the not too distant future, cease to exist...at least in the form that they're in now.
The swingsite that was basically the model for Swingular (And ADMIN got kicked off of when he started Swingular.-LOL) is more or less a ghost town at this point. We're lifetime members of both and the other one used to have a HUGE, vibrant, swinger community that was pretty much nationwide and now there are just a handful of people who actively participate in the forums and other features on the webpage.
Swingular won't be too far behind (What is Utah, like 5 or 10 years behind the rest of the country? LOL) and even Kasidie will eventually succumb to the pressure of other types of media and even easier ways to connect with others. Additionally, many younger "swingers" are simply bypassing swinging altogether and just hooking up with other people without giving it a label or having any kind of formal community. *shrug*
In the meantime, Swingular has become more and more just a venue for people to peddle their services and/or place redundant "classified ads" seeking what they've already stated they're seeking in their profiles. LOL
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=SOMEWHERENTIME]...and the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply or those 45 and older. So...heading to Vegas for AVN weekend and four incredible nights of parties put on by PURRFECTLV. Anyone else leaving the great state of Utah for the real deal?
Party like a Porn Star!
Alexis Park - Parthenon Ballroom
Massive 15,000 sq. foot ballroom transformed to an upscale sexy lounge complete with large dance floor, multiple stripper stages, go-go cages, ultra lounge furniture, state-of-the-art lighting and sound. Multiple Bars throughout.[/quote]
You have our full attention!!!!!
Who is going to Younge swingers week HEDO? - anyone going? - This sounds like a blast. We were thinking about attending Risque Soiree's Hedonism event, but this also sounds like it would be a ton of fun!
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