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Professionals - - That's just it Chibones: no we are NOT all looking for the same thing out of the lifestyle. People are as diverse as the imagination...and then some. And we have learned that in the lifestyle there are a myriad of things people want and don't want. No two couples are exactly the same and many are polar opposites. Some people do not want to limit the possibilities or their options. But MANY do want to limit them. Some...like yourselves...say almost nothing of substance about yourselves in their profiles. Others write auto-biographies. Some are looking for that one special couple or single. Some are looking to have sex with everything they get within arm's reach of. Some only want dark-haired ladies with large breasts. Others only want men over 50 years old and over 6' tall.
Geographical and regional cultural differences play a strong role in how people craft profiles and conduct themselves in the lifestyle. In our town, you could not be a "professional" and be open about being a swinger. You would be harassed and heavily discriminated against in business. Preachers would tell their congregations not to patronize your business from the pulpit on Sunday mornings, and most of your customers would be church-goers who do what their pastors tell them. Your kids would be tormented in school. Interestingly, if you were an entertainer or a construction worker or truck driver, nobody would care. Your life would go on without incident. This isn't Safety Harbor, FL! (we used to live in St. Pete) The big fight right now in town is over the new Hilton hotel and whether or not they should be allowed to offer PPV adult movies in the hotel rooms. Also, we have a very large element of...how show we say...under-achieving whites...in the lifestyle in this region of the country. I would be willing to wager a month's pension check that you would not associate with them. By comparison, when we look at FL swinger profiles and talk to our FL swinger friends about it, we get the distinct impression that swinging is more of a middle class and upper class past-time down there.
So, in a desire to both clue the right people in and not offend the rest, around here white collar couples tend to use the code-phrase, "We are a _________ professional couple who like to..." It's sort of a polite way of saying "No illiterate toothless hillbillies strung out on methamphetamines who cannot behave in public, please!" So, if "professional couple" offends your sensibilities, you should try walking in OUR shoes for awhile before judging us based on a phrase. Around here, a lawyer who is outed as a swinger would be in serious jeopardy of losing his bar certification. An elected official would be toast. A political appointee would be fired immediately. A real estate agent would see their business shrivel to nothing in weeks. A doctor would lose 3/4 of his patients within a month. And the funniest/saddest thing about it all is that we have one of the highest concentrations of swingers per capita in the US...3rd highest I believe.
This is why PC thinking is so unwise. We judge others based on OUR realities and not usually on THEIRS. In a desire to encourage more "tolerance," we actually become intolerant of anything WE find the least bit offensive. Personally, I celebrate everyone's right to be offensive, wrong, and dumb. That doesn't mean I agree with them or enjoy their company, either. It just means I accept people for who they are and acknowledge their right to be who they want to be. It means I hold the individual's right to self-determination and freedom of expression above almost all other values. It means I am TOLERANT.
How often do you think this happens - - T4REAL69 & Crew,
It's a preference thing. You're in this to have fun, not do things that you don't like or disagree with. If you are upfront and honest with eachother in the beginning, you should be able to decide what works for you. I see that no one mentioned that some women are not in it for the "another man" experience. We have to remember that not all of us are in this for the same thing.
If a guy gets excited about seeing his wife with another female and not another male, there is nothing worng with that. We all know what we like and don't like. However, if he's not going to be cool with MFM, then he should be ok with there not being any FMF, if the woman decides that the fairest route would be MFMF.
We have decided that the latter works best for us. I have no particular interest in watching my wife with another guy while I pull my pud. She's not into the DP or having two guys at once, so that leave us with couples. There is no insecurity, because my wife is with another guy with a couple. It's more about equality and fairness. Couples that play together stay together. By that, when you make your decisions on what make you happy, make sure you are both happy with them.
-Don-
P.S. BTW, I have a really good topic in the free thinkers forum that I would like the LDS Swingers members of the group to shed some light on. Hell any member for that matter. Just click the link at the bottom of this post.
Proud member of "Free Thinkers"
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - I have been on the receiving end of City attempts at regulation of a club in another state. I believe the only way that one could truely avoid the heavy hand of the morality police is being organized as a church or truely a private club which whould require some form of selection process of club members. Even this would not keep you out of trouble, only grant you leverage in court.
There is a case law study avaialable that can give you some overview of the current case law. http://www.moralityinmedia.org/nolc/caseStudies/swingersPack.pdf
Renting a location per event is likely the best way to avoid problems. However I know how hard it is just to setup a dance on a per event basis, an on-premise event would be much more work. The effort may be worth it, especially if you have a lot of people to help.
One way we made this work was a once a year event where we rented out a hotel during the off-season. The innkeeper was very comfortable with us being there and we were the only people that could get a room that week-end every year. We had the full use of the convention center and the swimming pool.
Jewellery, logos, etc to identify other swingers - We would like info on websites catering to discreet items to let others "know" we are in the lifestyle - Another site, SDC sends its members a pin with a butterfly and SDC on it. If there is another around we will sure know it. :-)
What Percentage Swinger Are You? - Maybe this is interesting - 110% Baby!!!!!! LOL
OK, this just in....Pennsylvania sucks ass....Utah ROCKS.....
....screw this shit.....WE'RE MOVING!!!!!
...to where all the kewl SWINGERS are. ;)
Family Swingular Members - OMFG and you do a search and see a close family member on the list..... - No family, but I suspect my parents were before my dad passed. I have run in to swingers out and about 3 times. One I work with, one we were riding Trax after a Blaze game when they shut the train down and stranded us and one at another Blaze game I was at with my father in law and brother in law and we had seats right next to each other.
So, Blaze games seem to be the trigger for us.
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - Not really sure how to say this but to be straight out in the open. I found out at about 16 that my folks were swingers (they are nudist also) so the house was a very open one. We had nothing to hide, I even played with some of their friends and they took me to my first house party.
Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - Weirdest. Thread. Ever.
Android swingers apps? - - I saw theres but it goes off your membership :( sadly its to pricey...
Friends? - Friends in and out of the bedroom? - It seems like there are two general classes of swingers. The 'one and done, "we already have all the friends we need just bend over and take it"' crowd and 'the more friends the merrier, in fact "we prolly won't fuck you until we know you a little better"' group. We fall into the latter group. In fact we're pretty much here solely for the friendships. I mean, if sex happens that's awesome. But it's not our raison d'etre cuz we can always go home and enjoy the hell out of banging each other. YMMV
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