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Single male in this lifestyle.. - I have questions for couples and single females. - [quote=STARTERPUP]Other states' swinging communities tend to be a little more open minded and accepting than here (I know I'll get slammed for that comment but the truth is the truth). With that said you've just got to be genuine, nice, outspoken, open minded and always eager to please. Some genuinely open minded and cool couples will enjoy your good attitude and become your friends :-)[/quote]
Don't worry. Not gonna slam ya. Just curious what state(s) you're talking about. We've lived and 'swung' :-) in a number of different states. Additionally we're on another, older swing site that is FAR larger than this one and people on that site often complain about how closed, cliquish and inhospitable swinging is in their particular area (most notably Minnesota where the site originated and especially in California where there is ostensibly a much larger population of swingers than in most areas). Personally we've found the swinging community here to be much more open than many areas we've visited. Of course openness is relative when it comes to an activity that most people tend to hide, like swinging.
Respect...Needed? or just forgotten. - - If we ever got rude replies like that, we just delete the mail, they arent worth our time. You have to have some common decency and repsect. A nice introduction with your name and an polite \'We\'d like to get together, how about we meet....\' will always gain more points.
We don\'t get much mail anyway, so we havent had to encounter it that much. But those messages we have gotten out of the blue are usually more rude then polite.
We find that the polite approach at the swingers club always wins us over and the single guys who just start touching, usually turn us off. Being cordial and you will get more :)
swingers parties - - Fl4, I can see you actually using that line....
Hollywood Swingers? - - Heard it on the radio today!
Christain Swingers? - - Just look at Solomon. David and others that are cincidered to be like God. hen look at history itself and who wrote most of the bible and in what era. Do the research and come too your own conclusions.
We personally believe that many (most) veiw pionts are made throughh the eyes of the generations of the present. i.e. Gay used to mean happy. Now it means your homosexual. Words have their orginal meaning change over time just what is perceived to be right or wrong changes with the times.
Yes you can be a christian. That statement only me believe in christ nothing else.
Me
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - Wooo Hoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to have you guys back here again.
hugs and kisses
Habits: Vanilla or Not? - How to tell the difference? - [quote=BMSHELL]
This has been asked here many times before...
[/quote]
I figured. If only the forum search functionality would return something other than "The used table type doesn't support FULLTEXT indexes". One can always hack it through Google but that process leaves a bit to be desired.
[quote=BMSHELL]
1) You can't tell by looking.
[/quote]
That's what we found too. We did not see a single pair of black rings walking around! ;) Though we did meet one couple that expressed regret for not wearing theirs once they noticed ours.
[quote=BMSHELL]
2) If you really want to know, you'll have to ask them.
[/quote]
Certainly. We're just not inclined to ask unless we suspect something. The Mrs. was wondering whether a question like "Did we see you at Casino Royale?" might be enlightening. The reasoning is that only someone in the lifestyle will be familiar with the that event while others will take it to be a reference to the James Bond movie.
[quote=BMSHELL]
3) Despite the fact that maybe 5% to 10% of the people there are swingers on any given weekend, it's not a swinger club, so if you're trying to meet swingers, it's very inefficient.
[/quote]
Meeting other swingers is definitely part of the motivation but we also like to dance. Our preference would be a swingers club with a dance floor. As far as we can tell that doesn't exist here so we're in search of the best approximation.
[quote=BMSHELL]
Sorry.. wish there was a better answer.
[/quote]
Thanks for the feedback none-the-less.
Married men, solo time - What do you think? - Swingers talk a lot about commitments and open relationships. However they are in a minority position when it comes to numbers. If you are married and want a divorce and your partner will not give you one, should you be forced to have her approval to swing? It is easy for us to say do this or do that. But some things are not easy to do. I spent 10 years being emotionally separated from my wife before my divorce. Due to certain circumstances, divorce was not even a consideration during that period of my life. But for me, sex with others was not a consideration either. However, I sure understand why some men would make it an option. We all have opinions and there are no easy answers and no right or wrong ones that are set in stone. There are only the ones that are right for you. It sounds to me that you have already made up your mind though.
Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - [quote=BENT]SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.[/quote]
Thank you BENT! We agree with you 100% on the honesty and communication aspect. We have been so happy in the year we have been with our couple, but there have been some bumps and mis communications along the way. Fortunately we were able to deal with them and learn from them rather well. We realize that a Poly relationship is very complex and risky, but the rewards outweigh the risks for us. Wishing you guys good luck in your search!
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - wife in gemini...husband is leo
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