Rolfe Swingers in Iowa

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Where are all the private parties? - where are the private parties. - hi there. We have also been looking for a party. If you look up kentcheney on this site, he may have some suggestions. We are very new at going to parties and so we may try a few meet and greets this weekend... plus we want to find some couples to talk to, who may have been to hedo11. We are thinking of going there, or a place like that, next Spring or Summer and want to get ideas on where to go, how they are, etc.. We also may be going to habits tonight. Another couple emailed us and said some swingers go there, and the club is having it's one year anniversary. We have never been there, however, we also have free time right now and decided to get out... we may even try the party that kentcheney is having this weekend - if we get our nerves to drop down a notch.. hope this helps M & D

Best swingers club for a 26m/36f couple - - Thanks everyone for the suggestions :)

What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - For us, one of the things that surprised us was that all swingers were not extremely gifted and intuitive lovers. We kind of expected to be out of our league with a group of people who, having ostensibly had sex with a lot of people, would be extremely adept at the art of making love but with maybe a few exceptions we were very wrong. LOL Another big shock was what terrible kissers most swingers are. It's funny, many of them THINK they are good kissers but our experience has been that most seem to have all the skills of a 10th grade high school vigin when it comes to sensuous kissing. Has anyone else found many of their play partners to be extremely lacking when it comes to kissing skills?

A&E New show about swingers... - neighbors with benefits.... - As long as it doesn't conflict with The Bachelor and My 600-lb Life I guess I'll watch a show about swingers. [em]Emo_84[/em]

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - We have only done it with toys, would love to try the real thing!

Speed dating swinging style - - So the reason we (KOIGIRL) and I hosted it was we were tired of the meet and greets where everyone had their cliques. Also the parties we went to were not swinger parties. Everyone stood around until someone got drunk and then there was drama. Not all parties are like this, but the one's we went to were. So we decided to hold the party. First, we held it at my place. Second, we screened those who attended. there were young couples and vet swingers. We limited it to 10 couples invited (8 showed). We did have some drinks and refreshments, but once everyone got there people drew a number 1-4. There were two of each number. Based on the number you paired off with the couple with the same number. A timer was set for 20 minutes. Everyone went someplace quiet and just talked. When the timer went off, one group rotated. So those that had 4 went to 1 and so on. After a little over an hour, we went into the family room and had a few drinks and were talking about doing a second round. However, this didn't happen as truth or dare started. Almost everyone was naked. There was a new couple who was shy but even they opened up. If anyone was uncomfortable, there were other rooms. It was made clear that no unwanted advances would be tolerated. There weren't instances of this. People started breaking off and going into separate rooms for fun. If you have questions, let me or KOIGIRL know.

what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - We get those too, it ruins it for all those nice single men that really are respectful. When men like that IM us, we dont even give them a second thought, most of the time the feed off of the attention whether it is negative or posistive they really dont care as long as they get a response! My advice is just to simply ignore them, block them, do what you can to just not give them what they want! It is to bad that some people think that just cuz you are in this Lifestyle it means you will give it to anyone, at anytime and it simiply doesnt mean that at all........so we like sex more then most but it doesnt mean we are sluts, we still want respected. Good Luck!

weight approperate - - Ya know, these threads come up all the time, looks, age, weight, etc etc etc, and the same things get said, and quite frankly, it sounds like sour grapes alot of the time. So a couple or half of a couple does not find you attractive for whatever reason, and if they are very attractive, and maybe you are too _____ (old, fat, short, grey, wrinkly, ugly, have a third arm growing out of your forehead whatever, fill in the blank) then they get labled as shallow........... Why is it that guys who have BBW fetishes aren't labled as shallow? Aren't they just looking for a particular type and and exclude those who do not fit that type? What is the difference? And why is it, that other guys like to assume that it is the confidence of the in shape good looking male that is making it so the woman won't have sex with the old fat guys(can't handle watching his wife etc etc etc you all have heard the statements)? Are they trying to make themselves feel better about some rejection? Guess what, everybody gets shot down from time to time, even the hotties....this is all about attraction, physical mostly, cause we (collectivley as swingers) have already found somebody we connect with emotionally and mentally (we married them!) and we are looking for some good dirty fun. we are not looking to get married to everyone we meet!! Swingular does not have the 12 points of long term relationship compatibility testing...they have pictures, height, weight, age, etc.....hmmm wonder why that is?

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - At the risk of being "further" outside the "norm" for swingers. I think knowing a person you are planning or wanting to have sex with is critical, for a number of reasons that are important to me and my partner. They are health, psychological compatibility, physical compatibility and chemistry or attraction. At least 2 of the above require some level of emotional attachment. At least in our case. We like the emotional attachment and feeling connected with the other couple. In fact meeting for just sex alone seems repulsive. Well, in most cases. LOL I doubt the above is poly; but I'm not sure what is, unless it is polyandry or polygamy. Different strokes [sic] for different folks. Jerome and Vickie