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Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - We have both Swinger and non-swinger friends. We have found a few "swinger" friends that we would be "friends" with if we were not in the lifestyle. We have tried to invite these friends to parties that we have SPECIFICALLY specified as "VANILLA". Almost every time we have had our "swinger" friends cross boundaries which makes our "non-swinger" friends (who have non idea about our "lifestyle") go "WTF?!?!?!?!?!?". It has happened numerous times so it's no one in particular. Has ANYONE has success in blending swingers into their vanilla lifestyle? Just askin......
Pineapples and black rings and flamingos, oh my! - - [quote=BIBILOVE11]Is it true about the pineapple, flamingo, black ring thing? Or is it a joke?[/quote]
From what we have learned the pineapple is a sign of welcoming. If you turn it upside down its means swingers. We first started seeing upside down pineapples at Naughty in Nawlins a few years ago and certainly seems to be catching on. Not sure where black rings come from but we wear them as our wedding bands on the wrong hand.
Discretion a Must?!? - Let us know - We live in a small town (small town, small minds, big mouths and notorious for it) but we chose to post our pics, face and all and haven't had anything majorly bad come from it.
The few times someone did recognize us they were nice enough to email us at the site they saw us on and saysomething to the effect of, "We saw you out and didn't want to bother you (as usually it was us having a nice dinner out), but we wanted to say hi here... etc etc.."
That's a great way to handle it, folks! That way we can enjoy a nice dinner in peace (imagine having someone say they saw you on a swingers site in front of your religeous cousins visiting form out of town or something!) and later look up their profile and see if it's someone we might be interested in or not.
One of the few "bad" things was that a co-worker's husband (who also works with me) spotted the profile and either didn't bother reading my profile or didn't think it applied to him, got his little hampster wheel in his head turning and started messaging me. Long story short - she's pissed at him and we're pissed at him.
How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping....
Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations.
I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around.
Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites...
So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation...
Ray
Swing Color Bands - Swing Color Bands - I agree the wristbands are a good idea but Having so many colors is ridiculous and confusing as this site is proving.
What is everyone going to have to carry a cheat card in their pockets to remind them of what colors what.
Why not stay to the basic's: One color which just signifies you are swingers and can be worn outside the club these also can have a universal Logo of choice. Have Two clors which shows Female is BI, multicolored, and Third, tri-colored, which shows Both are Bi. That's One band with NO more then 3 colors which u can wear anywear and maybe meet new people u wouldn't have been able to do before.
Again, keep it simple and less confusing.
Gangbangs/ Wife sharing - - We just did it at a swingers party. Strapped her down, and let the chain get as long as it wanted. The truly hard one to do is to get enough women together for a reverse gang bang. I know it's not me, but damn, what I wouldn't give to be covered in pussy juice, and tits, lips, and ass. Who's got the suggestions there.
Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - It strikes me that, [i][b]in general[/b][/i], people fall into one of two groups:
A. Those interested in the total social experience the lifestyle offers (multi-faceted).
B. Those interested primarily in sex (very goal-specific).
The number of people in group B is considerable. 'B' folks are much more likely to hold appearance and physical desirability as the only criteria for evaluating playmates. 'A' folks are more interested in the total package.
I don't think it's necessarily right to fault those in group B for their limited interest in people beyond their sexual skills and desirability. How they conduct themselves is another story, however.
Immaturity has been mentioned. Selfishness and poor social skills also surely come into play. Society in general continues to become more and more hooked on instant gratification, leaving little room for concern for others.
This issue is reflective of society in general. Those in the lifestyle are, in fact, just a microcosm of the bigger picture, as previously pointed out. Does anyone really think swingers are any different? If anything, they are a subgroup [i][b]even more[/b][/i] into instant gratification and seeking only specifically what they want.
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - Hi every one... I am Ivy, he is Rafael from NY .. any one from NY goping to the cruise.. is the first time we go to a swinger cruise.. Any first timer...looking foward to have fun and meet new friends
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Good find NUFUNCPL. That was most fitting. DJQ knows nothing of what that quote means... only his survival instinct. He his a coward. To say anymore would be to waste ones time.
D&T
exspense of taking husband and boyfriend to party - - you know what i was originally think when i started this was that, iam masculine in my relationship with both guys, they both have more feminie than masculine qualities, then i read posts on here about homophobic guys who dont dp because they dont want to touch penises, its like wtf, then iam wondering where bi sexual men fit into this swingers community who are supposidly open mined, i would think that if this community were so open mined they would see a person as a masculine or femmine spirit, what if my bf like feminine guys, will there be any at a lifestyle party? what if a guy likes masculine women how many will be there? the closed minded nature of these parties sets the whole thing back to before the sixties, they might as well only allow straight wife swapping and no bisexual men allowed
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