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Messages - why don't people want to message back - 1. All the sites are crawling with fake couple profiles that are pic collectors or guys trying to cheat.
2. People here have the idea of dabbling but are not serious about it.
3. People have their ideal encounter in their head and are only looking for that exact situation.
4. People are simply lazy. They wanna push a button (like the FR one) and let you do all the work.
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better. AFF usually has a good listing in your area. Try posting up something when you have free time and see what comes your way. Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead. Even after getting to full chat and meeting time, we really only meet 5% of the people we talk to, and we are super flexible and drive many miles to meet and play. Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.
End of Summer Beach Party - Saturday, September 23 - i think we are all surprised at the idea of a nude beach in utah. Much less there being a bunch of naked swingers partying the night away. LOL -- Please please send us directions with date and time as well. Thanks
Hollywood Swingers? - - We were wondering if any of you know what famous people are swingers...... we think Angelina Jolie could be, but has anyone confessed?
Swingers Kickball Society - - Our first kickball game will be this coming Thursday on June 3rd send a message if you want to join the group. Looking for couples.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote]
Damnit! Evildoers is right again!
Advice anyone? - Questions - [quote=TATERTOT1982]no baby, most of that was in Utah lol (couple of swingers on here , too). I'm always respectful ( I love women the mostest) and try and have fun. But I am thinking about deleting my account, not really gaining anything or meeting anyone decent. And people don't seem to read my profile. Whats the point, I always work when people come to Vegas anyways. Or I get what should we do or go in Vegas. I'm a tour guide now, but I work for free I guess. I'm in a bad mood sweets, lol, sorry. [/quote]
Good God girl. Don
Club Zu Key West Rant - - Here's our take on Club Zu or as the locals call it Club Pu. It's the worst bar on the island and it's only a matter of time before it closes. The only reason they've been open as long as they have is because they try to high pressure sell you into paying the $200 so you can go into the back room which never has any people. We've been in there 4 times and will NEVER go back. The owner is the rudest person we've ever met and it trickles down to his bartenders. No smiles, no hellos, no nothing, just give us your fucking money. He wouldn't know what a swingers club was if it smacked him on the back of the head. Don't believe the bullshit about not wanting customers to get to drunk so they don't have premium liquor. The truth is they don't have a full liquor license and don't have ANY liquor (the owner didn't want to spend the extra money to buy one) so they serve you beer or "wine based liquor" what the fuck is wine based liquor???? And they over charge you for it, how about $40, not including tip for 2 glasses of house wine and 2 of their fake margaritas which were nothing but sour mix. Nowhere in Key West do drinks cost that much and taste so shitty.
And the reason they have ESPN on the television screens is simple, the owner is clueless about what he's doing. They used to have porn on the screens, but they like to keep the front door open... so people walking past the bar could see the TVs and someone complained. So the genius that owns the bar... instead of just "closing the front door" he decided to put on ESPN in his so called "swingers bar". Brilliant move, that will sure set the right mood. Also, nothing like rap crap playing to loud coming out of the speakers to set the mood for swinging. This place is so bad it's laughable.
The final straw for us was the last time we were in there we ordered a beer (couldn't handle anymore $10 glasses of sour mix) and went to sit down on one of the lounge chairs... I sat down and the chair was wet, put my finger in it to see what it was and it was urine!! Someone had pissed all over the chair!! That explains why the club always smells bad and everyone calls it Club Pu!!!!
All we can say is, buyer beware!
The let down. - - Well POET_RAYL maybe the reason you have problems is most of your pics are from 2001! And you had one from 2006. You have been on here since 2005 and in 6 years no comments. Makes you think huh? And on your profile you demand couple have a pic on thier public profile. Ever thought maybe some people didn't want to post thier face pics for the world to see? We have jobs and don't want just lookers seeing our pics. If your swingers like us that's one thing I can't speak for everyone but we just didn't want anyone to see our faces on a swingers site. Anyone thats been on this site for more then 2 years without a comment gives us a red flag.
As for answering the question why do so many couples flake? It's because with most couples it's just the man posting and his wife has no clue he is posting her pics.
Im's a Professional............................. - No pic..... blurred pics - I love Amateur Swingers....Love to also tip toe through many degrees of glory....hehehe
I have ran into co workers from past employers but, never one of my bosses from any job. We seem to all understand the greater importance and that is the sexual experience and enjoying fantasy is the main factor. If someone is low ball enough to rat out a co worker and they are a boss then so shall they also be ratted out to the fullest degree....Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. This golden rule is not new and should be the way people should live their lives and being swingers we all should stick together for a reason of being one in the same....A Sexual Experience!
real members? - - You've struck on an interesting topic. I call them cyber swingers. They are swinger wanna be's . They find the thought of swinging erotic and interesting but they don't have the balls to actually get involved in the lifestyle. They like to hide behind the safety of their computer screen. They'll exchange email with you as long as you're willing or dumb enough to keep writing them. They'll never actually meet you or anyone else. That would be way too personal and would force them to crawl out from behind the security of their computer. Or you ocasionally run into the single guy that has created this fictional "couple". It's all a big game for him. He's just there to collect photos or maybe trick someone into playing with him because his wifes is "unavailable " at the moment. Whatever their game they're all the same because they both violate the principles of honesty and trust that the lifestyle revolves on.
We get email all the time from couples that "have read your profile--think you guys are great and want to get to know you better". That generally sends off alarm bells for us. We'll respond and exchange an email or two. If the other couple doesn't have pics posted or pics of just one of them we ask for additional photos in the first email. Since we have good pics of both of us in our profile we never send any other pics other than those posted. If we get the "don't have any pics of him or he's camera shy or don't have a camera yet" or any one of the other lame excuses we've gotten over the past year or so--that's it--you're done as far as we're concerned. We'll give out our cell phone number right away and tell them to call us or give us theirs and we'll call them. We want to speak to both of them. If we can't because one's not there we'll call back at a more convenient time when we can talk to both of them. If everything seems ok during the conversation we'll make a date to meet at a convenient restaurant or club and take things from there. This seems to work well for us. It tends to weed out the "cyber swinger" right away.
John & Colleen
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