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single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - We salute and appreciate all the members of the military. We know that our very lives and our hard earned freedoms are a direct result of what thay sacrifice in order to keep us all safe. We have attached our Memorial Day Salute to all veterans..........
Salt Lake and surrounding area couples for couples - Looking to meet other swingers - Were a couple new to the swing scene. Were having fun with single women but wed like a couple for play now. Full swap, seperate or same rooms and lets see what kind of fun we can get into. Message us and we will give you our kik or numbers to txt. Were not ken or barbie, nor do we care if your big, small, tall or short. Were open to alot so hit us up. Lets have fun.
Friends with out benefits? - Is it possible to find friends on here who dont want to fuck? - Actually this isn't that uncommon. We've been in the scene for a long time and have seen a lot of couples leave and then try to return and hang around the scene without actively participating because they like the thrill and excitement as well as hanging out with people who don't have a lot of hang ups and they don't have to censor themselves around. Unfortunately, in our experience, it hasn't seemed to work out too well in the long run. Not sure why, exactly. Maybe the real swingers don't want to hang out with people they can't potentially fuck or maybe the former swingers (or at least one of the couple) gets excited again and tempted to want to swing again or maybe it's some different reason altogether. Wish I could tell you how someone has made it work but it just doesn't seem sustainable. It's kind of like a motorcycle group I belong to. There was a guy who would show up at all of our meetings, hang out, talk about bikes, etc., but he didn't actually ride or even own a bike. Finally he stopped showing up because he found it harder and harder to engage the other guys in the group who actually ride. If you figure out a way to do it let me know. We still know a few couples who would love to hang out with swingers without actually swinging.
Can REAL FRIENDSHIPS in the Lifestyle TRULY exist? - More than just meeting and having fun - We believe you can have swinger friends as \"real\" friends. We have several couples that we consider to be our real friends. A couple of them, we have been to their house and they have been to our with both of our kids around and did as any other \"vertical\" couples would be. One couple especially, we\'ve been to their house with our kids and their kids were home on many occasions for a pool party, for labor day, for even their oldest\'s graduation, gone to a comedy club with other swingers as a group and just to get together and hang out. They have helped us move our belongings from house to house when we moved across town. We keep in touch alot even if its through a IM\'s on a messenger. The ones we consider friends are the people that want to be friends in and out of the bedroom. And we seem to pull it off with the right people that way. Just have to find the right combinations. Plus it seems the area we live in, we have a great community of swingers, so it makes it easier to be friends in/out of the bedroom. Jerry and Jen
LVSTRIPPERBABE IS BACK!! I missed you guys!! Any swingers in Col - - indeed...welcome back!
Sex vs. Guilt - Atheists have 'better sex lives than followers of religion who are plagued with guilt' - I hope the Admin doesn't mind this. If so, delete it. I found this interesting; a swingers site in Utah for Mormons.
http://www.sdc.com/utah-swingers/church-of-jesus-christ_lds-swingers-utah.html
Mr. Seperimentors
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - I like to join the group I been off for alittle bit , is time to jump back in see Familiar faces :)
How do you spot a Swinger..?! - tell tell signs of the lifestyle - [quote=CHRKE2]The mention of "Hedo" strikes me as fairly good 'code'. [/quote]Funny you should mention that. Not sure that would work so well: we went to Hedo 2 and were surprised by how many vanilla's there were there. After a few days, we took to breaking the ice by asking if they "were on any lifestyle sites?" or if they "had their profile posted anywhere as a couple".
Being that we were at Hedo, we were obviously not afraid of offending anyone (it is Hedo after all!), but it quickly let us know what their status was. Even still, the couples we ended up hanging out the most with were non-swingers.
C&M
P.S. Oh, and then we had my college friend who, when we told we were going to Jamaica, asked if we were going to "that Hedo3". 90% sure he is vanilla.
Swinger Literature? - magazine articles, books, web articles... - One book that cums to mind instantly is "THE ETHICAL SLUT" And if you're lookin for fiction.. Sci Fi.. "Time Enough for Love" and another is "Stranger in A Strange Land" both by Robert A. Heinlein Not exactly about swinging but more about the lifestyle of either Polyamourous or Swingers in a fashion....The Ethical slut is kind of the grandfather of swinging handbooks and how to pull it off.. The other two are quite good about polyandrous/polygamous/polygynous relationships.. Could be fun to discuss, particularly the merrits and or negatives as it relates to the book/s and how it might relate to relationships in today's world, i.e., swinging...
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