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Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Thoughts?[/quote]
Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all.
While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends.
ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships.
As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good.
One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules.
I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing.
Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷♂️
Thank you all for the riveting discussion!
Just looking for other couples happy with super soft and no swap - There must be more of us out there? - [quote=BADBOY8P]This subject is whats making it hard for us real swingers to find real friends !!!! I dont think they are trying to be mean by saying face book is a good place for ya they are just being honest ...... But I hope u find what your looking for dont really see much fun in it though !!! But each there own ... Just sayin ...
Thanx J
[/quote]"real" swingers? posts like this is the kind that will drive others that aren't as "hardcore" away from the lifestyle forever! Look up swinging..Google, Yahoo..whatever..and read as many definitions as you can find..there are many facets to the lifestyle, not just yours. And just because something isnt "fun" to You doesnt mean it might not be fun to someone else. Maybe the idea of full swap isnt fun to this couple that posted this topic, ever thought of that?
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - i am an electrician my self and do some side work on the side i am a journeyman electrician have been in the trade for 13 years contact me an i will see what i can do
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - To all the men & women that have served this country thank you for giving me the right to serve this great nation also. To all those that have a problem with my brothers & sisters in arms just try to remember the stuff you were taught in History, if it wasn't for us you could be speeking German, Japanese, Italian, Aribic or English with a twist.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=DOUBLETHEFUN]Best orgasms I've had are from DP[/quote]Would love to!!
Search abilities for international swingers. - Just a suggestion. - Hi.
When searching you can only search for a US state. How can we find international couples???
Bea and Alex from The Netherlands
Single Males vs. Unicorns - this is ridiculous - This site is no different than any other swingers site. I'm afraid that you will find good and bad in all groups, be it single males, single females, or couples. There are those that give their perspective groups a bad name, but unfortunately, little can be done about it, as it can be hard to verify who is for real and what someone's intentions are, without knowing them in person.
In my time in the lifestyle, I have observed...single males who were actually in relationships but looking for secret side action, single females, who seem to have a husband/bf who's looking to join...but she still lists as single, and couples who believe that simply because they bring someone along to a party...it gives them free range to do as they please. On the flip side, I have met some very nice people from all 3 groups as well.
My point is...all 3 of these groups have their roles in the lifestyle, but until a foolproof way comes along of determining who's for real and who's not...we will all have to deal with the good and the bad. As others have mentioned though...if you are object to a particular group and don't want to hear anything from members of that group...block/ignore them. Just remember that you are throwing out the good along with the bad.
Weeding through the real/ fakes - I wish there was a "validation " on profiles.. - [quote=sugarhouse2]PolyCouple, I think you're pointing to a cultural gap that we've also been frustrated with for years. We fall more into the independently open category, which puts us closer to the poly-lite and kink communities than the swinger community. We've found that a lot of swingers have the men negotiate the process and that's a huge turn off for us so we end up considering it a red flag in terms of what we're looking for. No judgement, it just clearly wouldn't work with our dynamic. We're free to talk to and do whatever we want with whomever we want. And we do. It's just different. But, in general, only hearing from the man does also make it hard to figure out if you're talking to a real couple or if there's true enthusiastic consent involved on all sides. Especially with so much catfishing going on over on other apps. Maybe the site could have badges or tags that filter searches.[/quote]
That might be it. We go out with a lot of couple and play with few. Once we have met for dinner, we're all involved in texting, etc. Prior to that - its been my responsibility (the male half) to set up the dates and coordinate the logistics while keeping her in the loop. It works for us. We generally won't give out our real phone numbers until we have something set up - at which point we generally create a group text to make sure everyone is 'looped' in.
At the end of the day - what we learn from this topic is that everyone's approach is different. We haven't had anyone flake out yet - YMMV. Good luck sexy peeps!
What is up with Utah?! - Swingers in Utah and nowhere else? - The owner lives here and once lived in FL. The presence from both places is strong. It also helps to have ton of sexually repressed (religiously oppressed) people here.
-D-
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - WAAAA babies is that all u whiners are
bunch of panty waste if i have ever seen, all talk
u all talk freedom of speech now that some is standing up to u panty waste u all rebel and do not like it
ummm very funnylol, lol, lol
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