Hidalgo Swingers in Illinois

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If you give it a try, it don't mean you're bi !!!!!! - - All I can say is be true to yourself. Whether in or out of the lifestyle, that above anything else is what ensures your happiness and success. Now enough of the philosophical mumbo jumbo... My experience with this topic is pretty varied. Obviously I not only list myself as bisexual but I also am transgendered; so in the swing lifestyle my potential partners are severely limited. But with that said, I have also met a large number of sweet and understanding people out there. I have also met a fair amount of swingers on a more intimate level. Thanks to our religious "western society" however, listing yourself as bi, does pretty much brand you. There have been plenty of opinions on this subject in the forums since I've joined and I'm sure long before hand. The one re-occurring thought I see over and over is that when you are talking about sex, it's simply an act of pleasure in this type of setting. If it is good for the woman, it should be good for the man as well (or TGirl in my case). Long story short dear, just do what your head, heart and little (maybe big, I haven't seen it) head tell you to do. If it feels right, then it IS right. Don't let anyone tell you any differently. If you don't get laid as much, that's their problem for missing out on a great guy that is truely in touch with himself. Alecia

Swingers gone bad?? - -

BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - Hello! I have never started a discussion form topic before (btw-this is Dana not Terry) so please be forgiving of me. Anyways, I have a question. I was looking for groups on this site that are into the BD/SM L.S. I know there are other websites that cover this interest, however I know of many swingers who are also into the "darker delights" such as myself. But I have found none on this site (as far as I know) that cover this subject/interest. So is there any groups that cover this topic that I can join, or if not, would anybody be interested in starting such a group on this site?I know this subject can be a little more touchy than other LS related issues. I also understand that people who partcipate in these activties would want their activties kept private. So if you don't feel comfortable posting here, please feel free to send me a private e-mail. Thank You and have a wonderful day![em]Emo_49[/em] Dana

What are swingers really looking for ?Are they looking for frien - Has the happen to you. - First: We were childhood sweethearts. (At the age of 12.) We are best friends. We have been together for 10 years,been married for 8 years.For the ten years we have only be with each other.Before we were togrther I had been with 5 men (I do mean men.When I was a teen,I went out with men : 18 to 23.) Before we were togrther he had been with 7 girls.I was with one woman and Chris was there but we had to stop before we got started.(she only when down on me and Chris was watshing but then I told him to go down on her,so he did.Then we had to stop because someone was try to come in the room.We were at a house party.This is why we are here. Second: We are in the same place regarding swinging.I only want to be with another woman.I do not want to be with another man.(We both are not ready to have another man with us.)I just thought it would be easyer to fine a couple to do what we want.Then to find a single female.Because every where I go everyone is saying the samething " There are not as many single females looking for coupls as there is couples looking for single females."Please reread the post.It saids that We want to be with a single bi-female..... I only want the women to play and the men to watch...... Third: Nothing can get in the way of our marraige.We would never leave each other.We have been through too much together.At 18 we got back together and we had our frist miscarrage.At 19 we had our frist son and our son and I almost die and we had our second miscarrage and was told by a DR. that I could not have any more children.For 4 year we had sex maybe once a month because it hart to have sex.(When we had sex it was over real fast because he did not want to hurt me.)He never steped out on me.He never thought to step out on me.at 23 we had our second son.What ever was wrong with me was gone because it did not hart to have sex any more.At 25 we had our daughter and I almost die having her.For the past 2 years we have wild sex almost every night.After having kids we finely got our sex life back.Now if only I can get my body back. LOL <(That is a joke Chris loves my body) Chris is the best man out there for me.I should know because I have been looking for a husband since I was 16.All the men I went out with only cared about themselves and what they could get.Chis cares about me and trys to give me everything I want.THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE.Because he is trying to give me what I want.He is the type of person that would give you the would if he could. Just so you know we as a couple have researched the swingers lifstyle for a year before we as a couple decieded to join the swingers lifestyle. We wrote this together.I just typed it . Candy & Chris

Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this. It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more. Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell. It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.) You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.) Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.

Tooele swingers party december - Looking to meet other local swingers and have some party fun - Sounds like fun! :)

C- A - Any swingers clubs around Salt lake? - [quote=Harleynight12345678]Redemption is a fun spot, or the rusty nail is fun as well.[/quote] Redemption is fun haven’t heard of the rusty nail so you need a tetanus shot to go there

Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world. The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for. You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies. Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck! edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em]

How to find other swingers - - So...what's the big deal? Why is it so bad that vanilla's see the shirt/logo/pendant whatever and know what it means? Ok, so the kids shouldn't see it... I'm going to make some shirts for me and the wife. His: I <3 group sex. Hers: Me too! Done. :P

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander... - - Our experience has been that swinger in general seem to be nicer and more open than their prudish cousins. However we must remember that swingers are still a cross section of society and we all know that society in general is well stocked with assholes and unfortunately some will spill over into the lifestyle. All we can do is ignore them and hope they disappear quickly. Bob