Cobden Swingers in Illinois

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Soft-core roll call - A call out to those interested in the softer side. - [quote=PARTYINLV]Canvas, It sounds like you and your wife are not quite on the same page yet, which is quite normal at the beginning of exploring the Lifestyle. You are looking for friendships with those who are in a similar situation. That's a good idea, but be prepared that even those friendships may be fleeting as the chemistry or level of comfort may still be different. At the beginning of our lifestyle journey, my wife and I were just as you are today, (I was also at a different level as my wife too). TheFunCouple offers excellent advice on going to meet & greets. I also add that you might want to check out a place like Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. There you can see how comfortable it is to be nude in front of others and witness all the different levels of the lifestyle. You will have opportunities to talk to others and learn more. There is no pressure to play. Plus, you will be out of Utah and away from people who might recognize you. If you are adventurous enough, maybe plan a vacation to Temptations Resort in Mexico. This resort is not truly a lifestyle resort but is a lifestyle friendly resort since so many non swingers go there. It still is a sexually charged resort. You will meet a lot of people who are similar to you there and you have a whole week to be relaxed, get into vacation mode, and explore your steps into the lifestyle together without judgement or pressure.[/quote] Thanks. I'm totally fine with my wife not wanting to be with another man. And she's ok with me being comfortable with another woman. So, not being on the same page doesn't cause issues as much as it adds to the challenges. Any way, I completely agree with you and TheFunCouple about meeting people in person, going to meet-and-greets, etc. That would be the best way to meet and get a feel for people. Two problems with that for us though: 1) We live in Podunk i.e., a long ways from Lifestyle events and 2) neither of us likes parties or any sort of large social gatherings. We're not hermits or socially awkward. It's just not our thing. I appreciate your post as well as the others.👍

We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - I don't kiss and tell but I am so angry.....this was the second time we played. I should have known but they said they were quiet and we just assumed they needed to get to know us and open up. They sure talked a lot pre 2nd playtime how fun it was gonna be etc. The guy asked the girl to leave in the middle of it without any explanation!!! Our intention of this post is only to avoid this in the future. We are really a fun couple and are very disappointed. We look forward to more mature, secure couples to get to know. Obvousily they weren't ready or on the same page. We really want all the couples that we play with to be 110% comfortable and both parties are into the situation and want to play.

Children - - am a momma bear when it comes to my kids. They know am a nudist but they DO NOT know my lifestyle. The reason why they don't know about it is because I think in their teen age years they have a lot to worry about and also they are discovering the world outside the home. I give them a lot of advise and talk a lot to them to the point that they know what is swinging but again they do not know that we are swingers. My 14yr old daughter knows that am bi because a lot of her friends are bi and she was very confused as to the whole thing. Not even our closes swing friends know my kids. We each talk about our kids and brag about them. I have met theirs and this summer we are planning to have the families join but this is ONLY because we have been friends for a while and we talk and know a lot about each other even private problems that only the closes family members would know. I know how they are with their kids and they know about how we are with ours, so I am comfortable with them meeting them. I chatted with a cpl for a long time and we even played a few times. We got comfortable with each other and in one conversation the topic about the kids came up... We talked and bragged about the kids. After a few weeks I was asked if I wanted to see their kids on cam. I said ok just because we had played and talked a lot. I saw their kids and everything seemed normal. It turned out after a while the mother told me her daughter was bi and she loves to watch her daughter have "fun" with her friends. She sits back, plays with herself and tells her daughter what to do, another thing that was disturbing to me is that this person is a high school math teacher. MY KIDS ARE OFF LIMITS... even when am chatting, emailling or just checking the site my laptop is posittioned in a way that no one can see the screen except who ever is in front of it. I also know that newborns till about 4 or 5 depending on the child development is ok to do as you please, but I remember things when I was 5 years old, things that my mom says but you where so small. To my opinion anything older than that should not be exposed to anything. There are so many sick minds out there. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE THINKING.

Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I thought it was a pineapple upside down in your cart. I do it once in a while to see if I get a reaction from anyone.

Utah Soft Swappers meet and great - Button up 134 Pierpont, Salt Lake City - [quote=Smartflirts]Recon knows what’s up. They have been around a while and they are trolling you. LOL. Our profile talks a little about softswap and how some fullswap couples can be douchebags to those who don’t full swap. Some of those douchebags WISH they had been more open and cool to us when we first started. The truth is the LS is and should be just fun. No matter your level of play or even no play and just social fun...social fun, flirting, and being open and dressing sexy is our favorite thing. Swapping, at any level, is great as is any sexual experience with the RIGHT people. It’s all the other fun stuff that surrounds those experiences that really makes it fun.[/quote] Fwiw, We know RECON. We've actually met once or twice IRL and know his (her?) sense of humor. In fact, we even know the origin of their screen name. It's, like, short for 'recondition' or 'reconstruction' or 'recontour' or something like that. Anyway, I just thought I would use his/her acerbic comment as a teaching moment to help anyone new to the scene with some of the jargon or slang, if you will, that swingers use so that they'll know which tab (usually A) goes into which slot (usually B)...and when. Nobody ever told us this valuable insider info when we were noobs and we made a LOT of swinger faux pas. We were taking off our clothes at wholly inappropriate times (and places), tabs were going into the wrong slots (often even into the wrong genders!), dogs and cats were sleeping together...it was MAYHEM. It took us many years to figure it all out on our own and by the time we actually did figure it out we were old and decrepit and nobody wanted to swap (soft OR hard) with us anymore. Now all we're left with is ULTRA soft swap which usually involves using sock puppets, pantomiming sex, while we watch another couple...also using their own sock puppets. It's quite sad and pathetic. [img]https://www.askideas.com/media/25/They-Love-To-Get-Fisted-Funny-Sock-Puppets.jpg[/img]

How close is too close - - If you have problems in your marriage, swinging is not going to fix them. I think the excitment of swinging will, perhaps, camoflage them for a short time. But in the long run if there are problems the level of trust that is required to swing -- just will not be there. But I wonder how our statistics compare to the general public? Are swinging couples getting divorced at a higher or lower rate? Comparing our swinging friends with our vanilla friends, the swingers seem far more happy with and into their mate. The scenarios and issues raised by this question, happen in and out of swinging. Remember the joke -- "my wife ran off with my best friend, and boy I am going to miss him". That is a vanilla life joke. We all need to take care to respect the intimate relationship between other swinging couples. We should all expect others to respect our relationship with our spouse. But in the end, if you trust each other enough to swing successfully, then I think the other issues of life will prove to be fairly easy to handle together.

Mormon Swingers - - [quote=Ucouple]Are you Mormon?[/quote] No. I was.

Swinger Study Survey - - What I don't understand is how singles male or female call them selfs swingers. Now we have nothing against singles we enjoy there company often. To us swingers are a couple that are sharing them selfs with others outside of there relationship. where as singles are not shareing anything with anyone. They are just looking to get laid ( I don't hold that against them ) but swingers are couples.

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - This was typical for what passes as journalism in the great state of Utah. Heidi Hatch appears to be a shill for the Mormon church, or just a bad journalist. Based on my views of the quality of news reporting in Utah, and the influence of the church locally, I will go with both. One concern this story brings up is the level of scrutiny now on the community in Utah and what the the laws surrounding playing and public parties are, especially where on-premises sex is permitted. I can see our own home-grown morality police trying to force their version of reality on the rest of the population and seek to stop these parties from happening. Anyone know the laws around Utah for these things?

Private Pic BullSh**T! - - [quote=BLUEIDKAT][quote=SHERA_HEMAN3]I don't get it. We are on a sight to see if we wanna share each other. Why not show everyrhing up front. It's not like i dont want someone with the sane intrests to see what i look like. Why do we have to be private. Ultimatly we are all here for the same thing does it matter if another swinger sees your face. Lol two cents. [/quote] I guess my point is that if other swingers were the only people on here, it wouldn't matter. However, this is and open website that excepts anyone temporarily and anyone permanently with enough cash. THEY DON'T DO BACKGROUND CHECKS! There are a lot of liars on here, plus occasional law enforcement and self righteous do-gooding crusaders. Don't assume its just the ones who hide their faces. And don't criticize me if I choose to be more cautious than you. I may be in a position in my private live where that is necessary. Look at all the trouble facebook causes people looking for a job. Can you imagine if they started checking swingular? Besides I'm in Utah. This is the state where the Church sends people down to Trails to record license plates. This is the state that requires your name be entered into a data base when you go to a bar or strip club. This is the state that allows the printing of a weekly newspaper that shows the arrest report and photo of anyone taken into custody, locally or state wide. I live in Utah. I'm paranoid for a reason. [/quote] You got it Blue! but understand about 95% of occupations dont have a risk of income loss if they are found out. some can even get more biziness. Many folks dont have kids that they worry about being teased at school (worse case). Many folks have been outcast by family and their friends would not be surprised at all or are on here too. If a couple seems to need to be discreet we like that.... If you have face pics in the public we will never be going on a date with you! that is for sure!