Bourbonnais Swingers in Illinois

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Lets make today positive Hump day - - thanks all lol, ill run for swingers gov !! lol lol

Friends or swinging partner - - That's not really an easy question to answer. We've met a bunch of couples just once. We generally don't hop into bed on the first date, but it does happen. I think there have been couples that we've hopped into bed with that we might not see in other than swinger settings, but we definitely have friends we swing with that we would and do. There are swinger couples we'd really like to spend vanilla time with but just haven't had the time. Candycanepa is right in that this is a swingers site for swinging friends, so the intent is to find friends to hop into bed with. We're a super busy couple. He travels 4-5 days a week and, like a lot of you, we have kids at home. That makes it tough to have time to really have close friends, swinger or vanilla.

Is anybody on this site for fucking real or just a bunch of tease - - Seems like if you're not dtf on first meet it's a no go.. plus since we're more poly then swingers we get ignored. Mostly have had fakes and flakes from this site... plus trying to chat with a single female is also a joke.. Seems like girls want girls, couples want girls and the girls open to guys are wanting horse hung gym rats or sugar daddies... it sucks.

Some Food For Thought - - I would venture to say not many folks in the Lifestyle have ever given a whole lot of conscious thought to the following topics, but it may be interesting to see what everyone has to say on them. In answering the questions, please don't let your own personal likes/dislikes be your sole reason for answering the way you do. Rather, look at it objectively as you feel it applies to others in general. In all cases, we're talking about adults only. #1. If 2 women play with and enjoy pleasuring each other in a group, couples or strictly 1 on 1 situation, does that NECESSARILY make them bi-sexual? #2. What about the same question as it pertains to men? #3. Where EXACTLY does bi-curious end and bi-sexual begin? #4. What EXACTLY is considered "kinky"? #5. Where and when EXACTLY does "kinky" become "perverted"? For example: Would Golden Showers (by mutual consent) be considered "kinky" or "perverted"? If something "just happens" during play, is it either? #6. Is playing alone, even with the knowledge and consent of your spouse, considered cheating? What about if you play with someone you and your spouse have played with together, only this time you're doing it without your spouse knowing you're doing it? Cheating? #7. If you or your spouse were to play with someone who is NOT in the Lifestyle, would you consider THAT cheating? #8. How many of us in the Lifestyle do you think have let our families know that we are Swingers? #9. How real is your fear of contracting an STD if you participate ONLY with others within the Lifestyle? #10. Do you feel there is a real possibility of us all going to hell for what we do?

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Profile Pics - Why hide your husbands? - ok we will put our 2 cents in on this one as we have had to a couple of times in the past this has been brought up. we have some of the male half but aroiund here 98% of the swingers are just looking and want to see pics of the wife. they are in this for ff and the hubbys are just tag a lones. we have really gave up on all this we just keep our profile because of good friends we have made. we started swinging 8 years ago . at first it was fun people wanting to chat and meet. we met one couple that we played with since we was new to this it was kinda off the wall. and we didnt really have a good time. then hubby brought a friend home and had a 3some with wife . she didnt really like it . ( not going to say why ). then we went to a party and hooked up with this lady for a three some . while her hubby watched. just to find out she wanted the wife. and hubby got to fuck her the whole 3 minutes before the woman said im soar. soar after 3 minutes of fucking ? BULL SHIT!! just to clear something up hubby has a 8 inch dick and yes he knows how to use it. so looks like all this is not swinging but for women who want to fuck women . thats why we never had many pics of hubby.

This one time at Swingers Camp - Discussion about N by N camp out - Thanks allot we had a great time. Gets better every year. Rob&Jen

Lifestyle vacations - Best place for a lifestyle vacation? - We just went on our first lifestyle vacation to hedonism 2 in Jamaica. We went with a group called young swingers week (OP just meets the criteria) and it was amazing. The resort itself is fantastic, the staff is friendly, the entertainers are very good, and there's always plenty to do even if you decide not to interact with others. And, of course, there's always the other guests. Contrary to the previous post, only half the resort requires nudity; the other half is clothing optional and the dining areas and front desk require some covering. If you're going in March I'd definitely suggest going swingers week if there's still spots available. They buy out the whole resort (minus a couple legacy rooms) and get to add an extra layer of events for the group. The hosts are amazing. Basically, there's a reason they get something like a 70 or 80% return rate year after year.

If you're going to blame your customer - At least remove the evidence it's your fault. - [quote=EVILDOERS]I'm the poster child for every fucking error message, connection problem and browser fuck up imaginable on my POS laptop and I don't have any problems at all. And FWIW I'm on another swing site that's MUCH more expensive than Swingular and there are just as many people complaining about these issues and more. I know a guy who does I.T. for the other swing site and it's a fucking nightmare trying to deal with every possible combination and configuration of OS, browser, server, and ISP out there. Not downplaying the problems you're having, just sayin' it's kinda like a ginormous swing party with uber hot young cuties, old fat farts, drama ridden noobs, posers, maybe a bunch of polys who don't know they aren't really swingers anymore, and about a thousand creepy single guys from Craigslist and then expecting each and every one of them to just get along famously and then play Twister on a huge Twister mat with a dude who only speaks Mandarin Chinese spinning the spinner and calling out the color and body part combos.[/quote] Oh this was such the proper depitction of the situation... LOL... @Perma-Bachelor: I think it's time to instatute some form of time out for those that can't seem to log off and have no activity going on with the site..

Hey all you "totally secure couples" - Just in case you got it wrong you have methods to recover your loss. - Other than the law suit this is pretty typical of couples who try to "fix" or "spice-up" their failing marriage by swinging. They somehow foolishly think that having sex with other people will magically repair all the self-inflicted damage they've done to their relationship over the years. What they find out is it just intensifies all of it. It just gives them one more thing to argue about. I've read all the newspaper articles on this deal that I could find on Google News. This couple was already in divorce court and just didn't know it. They definitely were swinging to "fix" their screwed-up relationship. According to her, she didn't want to and he coerced and manipulated her into doing it. Of course this sounds great in court for her case. I think the truth is they both had one foot out the door and this was just the break they needed to get away from each other. "There must be 50 ways to leave your lover" type stuff. Unfortunately, they only strengthened what most people already think about swingers. You never hear the good stories, just the "swinging destroyed my marriage" or "I had some friends that tried swinging and they're now divorced." You look into it further though, and you always find out that they were already emotionally divorced, just not legally. Good riddance to this couple. They are truly boneheads.