Adair Swingers in Illinois

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Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Poly ideas - Ethical non-monogamy...I like that label. - We were thinking of starting a gun store for swingers and calling it "Poly Armory". But then we realized we like money too much, and investments based on bad puns are never really a good idea.

Mormon Swingers - - Mormon swingers have to leave their garments on during sex, they always start with a prayer and a testimony, and they are not allowed to shave the bikini area. And on Sunday they have to confess and provide all the names of the people that participated... you sure this is what you want? The upside, there is always plenty of green jello to play in.

male curiousosity - - Hubby is bi and we don't hide it. There are a lot of people on here that are bi and state they are stra8. As far as for STD's please people be more opened about it....if you sleep with one you sleep with whom ever they have slept with. What makes you think your are going to contract STD's from giving a man oral and not from a woman...especially if we are a full swap couple....let's just say am sucking on 2 cocks at the same time....hummm wouldn't I be the transporter of the STD....so...My hubby and I know that we are playing Russian Roulette on here. We have become swingers, we don't know who everyone we have been with, had been with prior to us..... we take the necessary cautions and we never go bareback does that protect us completely...NO.....like I say, Russian Roulette but we both have talked about it and it is a consequence we have to face if it does happen. Oh bi the way it is so hot to see 2 men on a 69

Meeting new swingers? - Where to meet them? - I just have to say that this is the third chance I am giving to the internet, everytime I have tried one of these websites I have left disapointed. I have found more real people at the local clubs then online. maybe I am just jaded from being stood up a few times, but I just feel I would rather get to know another couple in person,after several no shows I just don\'t belive in the internet.

Moab Utah - Swingers in Moab - It’s going to be a great weekend we are in Moab now enjoying the weather and trails awesome place!

Whtas up - Please tell me? - [quote=TATERTOT1982]..........OK so pretty much no one has contacted me in Vegas. I couldn't find enough time in Utah but here, for some reason seems to be so difficult to even find anyone worth seeing. I am not s picture whore, just has to be something , anything there. ......Please, I am so bored and hoping someone can find the time to help a girl out.....I', starting to get a complex, unless i travel 6 hrs. and now they are saying single girls aren't swingers lol............Oh Lord..Help me out. Someone who isn't; gonna hit it and quit it.............PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ[/quote] I would be happy to come meet you in Vegas. I end up there for conferences fairly often.

Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Gemini here

Las Vegas - Las Vegas - [quote=FUN4USXX2001]sounds good....any others?[/quote] Yes, Couples Oasis keeps popping up in our search. Based on the description my concern is that it's more like the meet and greet style event that we find here in Utah. Not exactly the reason I would go to LV since we can find those here! :) Another one that keeps popping up is [url=http://www.fantasylv.com/]Fantasy Lifestyle Venue[/url]. It looks like a smaller place and isn't as fancy as the others. But it looks a fair bit like our favorite club and the reviews make it sound like it attracts more experienced swingers and fewer newbies.

Bubulaplease - Confidentiality - Something that has bothered me a little bit...when we went to Lumpys the doorman asked if we were there for the Sinful event. We says yes and as we were walking down the stairs some people upstairs asked him what was going on and he said it was a swingers party. I mentioned it to a few people that night and it seemed that it was a normal occurrence. We realize that going to the events we may run into someone we know, however, people who don't know about our lifestyle also go to lumpys. I would hate for them to know there was a swingers party going on and then see us leaving or something. My question..is this normal? Is it this way at, say, Sandy Station? Do the group organizers ask for confidentiality?