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HELP!!!!!!!!! I guess we need to work on our profile - - Maybe you could add a coupon for a free bowl of soup? That's always a big hit around the holiday shopping season.
If that doesn't work, be sure to add the lines about how in love you are with each other, how you are DD free and expect to stay that way, you are looking to spice up your great love life, and be sure to write NO SINGLE MALES!!! 3 times all in CAPS so people know you are REALLY serious... You don't want any of those sneaky little bastards squeaking through the cracks.
Oh yeah, don't forget to dress up your profile with those fancy MySpace backgrounds. Include a picture of your sportscar, boat, and two-headed squirrel that you caught while on your exotic vacation in Rexburg ID... these all get extra points.
Last but not least, you gotta have a closeup shot of your genitals. Who says that once you've seen 10,000 knobby/dried up peckers, they all look the same?
When in doubt, look at the profiles of other popular people on this site, read their clever ads, and do the old "copy and paste" routine. Just don't copy their pics, people may be disappointed when they are expecting Ben and Jennifer, and they end up meeting more common folk. Warning: Don't copy our profile. It is down right stupid and was obviously written by an ignoramous.
The bottom line... profiles are pretty much all the same. Writing some clever literary prose ain't gonna get you laid.
The only thing I've got going for me is a hot wife (bait), alcohol (to relax the spouse of the guy who wants to fuck my wife), and chloroform (to disable the other guy's wife when she finally decides "there ain't no way she's 'taking it for the team' with that crazy bastard! "
Oh yeah, one more thing.... I also was smart enough to move away from Utah to a place where there are good swinger clubs, lots of hot sexy swingers, and our law-makers aren't a bunch of old white haired guys, in funny underware, who think a good time involves green jello and an accordian player!
I gotta tell my former neighbors... I've been to "The Place" and it definitely is NOT in Utah. (Note: the Cirque at Snow Bird and Catherine's Area at Alta might be the closest exception to that last statement)
I hope that was helpful. Good luck with your profile.
:D
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Count us in please! KIK notacrowd
Why are there so many swingers from Utah? - - It's cause we're all polygamists and we each have at LEAST 7 wives but still aren't satisfied and want to fuck OTHER guys wives too. The parties here are totally CRAZY....there's like one guy for every 8 or 10 girls. The chicks HAVE to be bi just to get a little action and the guys are usually COMPLETELY worn out very early in the evening. Luckily Viagra is available OTC here and a lot of us have had those little pumps implanted in our willies so we can keep going...just like that Energizer bunny. If anyone wants, we can send the missionaries over to your house so YOU can get in on all the hot action...hey even if you don't want to join up you can probably have a little fun fucking with two totally horny 19 year old virgin boys who aren't allowed to touch girls or even masterbate for two years. If you have any questions just watch Big Love on HBO....it's TOTALLY 100% real and ALL the polyg wives are totally hot like his (NOBODY gives a BJ like Chole Sevigny!) and nobody ever has a "headache" cause they know that they won't get another "turn" for at least 2 or 3 days. Plus the skiing here is pretty good.
Evil
'Neighbors with Benefits' to air on A&E - Excited to watch? - I agree 100%. This show is going to be comprised of a bunch of hot women and men. It will not represent the swinging community in any other way than people hooking up with people other than their significant other. But what do you expect, TV is all about ratings. Take the show Polyamory for example. That show didn't have the greatest ratings and I believe it to be that they used real people. Not just the best looking ones they could find. Without ratings a show can not survive and the network can not make money. This is the reason that we will probably never see a show that highlights the real life of swingers.
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - Here is a scenario for you....................Your out of town, on vacation, you meet that elusive "unicorn" the single bi-female, shes HOT, she willing, and shes on her way out of town.
You only have one shot at it, do you turn to this rare find, that is ready to fulfill all those single fem fantasies, and say "Sorry hunny, but we gotta be friends first"? Or do you throw your caution to the wind and go ahead and fuck on the first date?
Its not hard to find a reason to break a rule, and if there are reasons to break them, why have them? Why not let the moment dictate?
Or is this just an excuse that people use instead of being honest about not wanting to have sex with someone? Or is it an excuse you tell yourselves to not have to go thru with being real swingers?
Just a couple more questions I had.
Disabled Swingers - - Thank you for the pointers CountryBumpins. I will certainly add more to our profiles. Your conditions do not sound at all trivial. In fact FMS combined with Peripheral Neuropathy, Diabetic Neuropathy and Sciatica are why I am in the wheelchair. Like you the last thing I want to do is sound like I am whining. After all we are here to have fun not bitch ;)
Jeff
Pet Peeves - What in the lifestyle bug the hell out of you? - Flaky people. People who seem too scared when it comes to having sex. We don't like spending too much time in the butt-sniffing stage. We understand comfort levels but,we are all swingers and you can't learn to swim by sticking your toe in it. Either get in or get out.
Married guys posing as single guys or claiming to have a hall pass. Then, for some reason or another, we can't meet with the Mrs. As if we can't see through your bullshit.
And last on my list: We did a couple of bukkakes. It was fun but, we are over it now. We don't need any more offers. If we get any more messages that say, "Hey, would you like a cum facial tonight?" we will ignore it. It is a fantasy which has been fullfilled. Thanks but no thanks
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - TAMMYNWALT
Thanks goodness they didnt see....and i remember that even at disney. ..
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - We should think about doing a grocery store TAKEOVER! Everyone meet at ______ grocery store at this time and place an upside down pineapple and unicorn cereal in your cart! LOL...so nerdy...we should do it. How funny would that be. We’d totally do it!
Hello summer - Swingers couple party - That's why we are doing a swingers group party to bring back the fun for all. Looking forward to the feedback after the event. Trying to build a fun safe swingers party events not a single male meat fest
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