De Beque Swingers in Colorado

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That little nudge many of us need - - We think honesty is the best way to be. If she found out about the meeting without her knowledge, your tryst into the lifestyle may be over. Plus, she might feel the pressure to play at some point anyway. Also, she will always wonder if the next meeting is arranged without her knowledge. Evildoers is correct in meeting with zero chance of playtime. Take their advice. She will feel more relaxed and could enjoy herself with the pressure off. We will take it a step further: Step 1: Set up a date with ZERO playtime opportunity and let the other couple know that. Do something fun (a hike, Topgolf, etc) and get to know them. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you don't feel you are a match. Step 2: If you send a message to meet again, let them know your intent and your boundaries. For example, (kissing ok), (fondling ok), (bi kissing ok), (same room, separate room, either room ok), (nudity ok or not). But, speak honestly with each other about this. It's not nice to lead people on after you have committed. At the conclusion of the date, let them know that if they do not receive a message from YOU within 24 hours, you are not ready to go further. Step 3: If you send a message to meet again, let them know what is acceptable. For example (full swap or soft swap), (same room, separate rooms or either ok), (kissing or no kissing), (bi play) etc. Again, you will have to be honest with yourselves if you can do this. By a third date, the other couple has invested a lot of time in you. So, be nice and don't lead them on. Enjoy the playtime. Save enough time for the afterglow sex with them relaxing, chatting, and laughing. By this point, you may have found a couple that you can see multiple times. Doing vanilla activities with them might be a bonus. They may even introduce you to their lifestyle friends too. The other option is attending a house party where play is not expected. You will be able to speak to several couple and perhaps, use the process above. Or you can play that night. When we entered the lifestyle, we never had that couple who could mentor us. After we considered ourselves as no longer newbies, we became the newbie "whisperers" to offer what we never had. However, we've gotten away from newbies since our circle is with experienced swingers now. But with covid, we would date newbies again.

How long did it take to convince ? - - We talked about the fantasy of being in the lifestyle together before we started it. As said before, fantasy and reality are two different things. We weren't ready for a date with another couple yet because we were afraid of expectations or problems arising from things that we hadn't thought about. So, we thought going to a swingers club might be a good way to learn about it. There are no expectations and we could ask advice from others. But, we were so paranoid about running into someone we knew at a club here in Vegas, where we live. So, we decided to check out the possibilities out of state. lol. We went to Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. It was the first time we were both completely nude in front of others. That was a great beginning as we quickly realized that no one was staring at us. We actually became very comfortable quickly. We did notice a lot of sexual activity. But again, that activity seemed normal to everyone there. We met a lot of great people who were willing to give us friendly advice. We commented how everyone seemed so normal. Even though we went with no expectations, we were given an opportunity to be with another couple, who had a nice "no Pressure" style. Privately, my wife and I discussed our boundaries or any other concerns. After we worked it all out, we agreed to play with the couple and loved it! Ten years later, we are so glad we joined the lifestyle. So maybe, you should try coming to Vegas and go to a swingers club. Check out the scene, talk to some people, and form your own opinions. The club will be as tame or as wild as you want it to be.

Has swinging changed? - - I've been trying to quantify the changes we're seeing but it's a little hard to pin down. For one thing, there seem to be quite a few people sticking their heads in and quickly retreating. Perhaps it's the ease of entry that allows "lookie Lous" to sort of check things out without really risking actually MEETING someone. LOL Another thing we've noticed is that there seem to be more people treating swinging as simply another way to hook up for NSA sex. I mean I know at it's core that's what swinging is but it's almost become a wham, bam, thank you ma'am culture rather than the sensuality of sharing your body with a caring generous lover. Foreplay almost seems to have become perfunctory (if it happens at all) and there's more of a "down and dirty by nine thirty" attitude than there used to be. It's almost a hit it and quit it or get in, get out, go home culture now. Many people just seem to be in such a hurry to fuck that they don't really want to take any time to get to know each other a little first. Maybe I'm seeing things but it just seems like it's changed a lot since we started swinging. I was talking to some people on another site and one guy postulated that the changes were due to the scene being so diluted by people with varied interests that there just aren't a lot of "pure" swingers anymore. I dunno, maybe I just need more coffee. [em]Emo_96[/em]

What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - [quote=T4REAL69][quote][quote=HCOUPLE6988]ok so what would you classify someone who was considered a swinger by some for 10 years but now that im single does that revoke my swingers card because i am no longer married?....just trying to figure out where all of us that fit into this category falls into for all of you that choose to define someone[/quote] Oh man that's easy you are now all that is wrong and evil in the world....I thought you knew....lmao...welcome to the "DARKSIDE" ;)[/quote][/quote] FUCK..... o well I guess I'll try and have as much fun as possible on the darkside now i just need to find a storm trooper outfit so i can fit in :)

swingtown - a new show on cbs - we liked it and record it on DVR. It all looks pretty much "period" for the times. My only thought is: I wonder how many people will watch that and think they can be swingers?

Interacial Sex - - agree [quote=SHAZAMER]I have played with guys and gals from every race, color, type of cultural upbringinging, etc. that can be found in Utah. The stereotypes are just silly and stupid. There are hot & not so hot men of every race. What I do find intriguing is that most guys of races other than white, keep themselves physically fit after marriage and take pride in their appearance. This seems to be much more rare in married white men. A shame! Also, seems like white swingers like to smoke. A lot. This is a turn off for me, so I tend to steer clear. xoxoxo Monika[/quote]

choices - - you don't plan this lifestyle , you just fall in to it ! you got some thing like love missing you don't know what it is and how to get it so you try this , or you get horney only to sin ,or if you are the male part it is normal and it is in your cells or genes the need for a variety of females don't ever forget the fact that most men had more then 1 wife about 100 years ago and a lot still have now and the desire did not change , the body and brain don't change by the only fact that gov. banned it , so we see a new era of prostitute filling in that gap like , gentlemans boutique , sex xxx , swing clubs , it was there and its still here just took a diff. shape or in couples swingers sometimes you are pushed in to it by an insane spouse that you actual depend on , "or you join or leave " or a childishly jealousy by the female part if you fuck whom you want so i will too , risking family values .........:h

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=WOLFMAJESTIC]We just really do couple to couple time according to schedules, Tiffs parties when we can ;) there's plenty of people to meet, and haven't planned our full moon summer party yet..lol[/quote] Ahh..Tiff's parties..we We like them, too..LOL guess we need to have a few more! And a Full Moon party? Sounds fun! We're up for a little howling!

New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - just curious if there has been any momentum from this feed? It seems there is a following, so where do we go from here? Being a swinger in Utah definitely has it's down falls, one of which being "follow through". We have tried nearly every avenue in finding fwb only to find most just want sexting buddies. If we had a place to physically meet, the way it was once upon a time before technology, there would be a much higher success rate at actually meeting people! I've seen an e-vite somewhere floating around that invites members of swingular to a private area of a public club downtown on Friday nights. Has anyone ever attended this? How was it? I think that would be a good place to start for getting a feel of how many would actually attend something like this if you are serious about opening a venue.