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Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - there arent as many new members for sure.....and it does seem that activity has dropped by a good bit....
C- A - Any swingers clubs around Salt lake? - Redemption, in Herriman, is the only new place that I know of.
Friend collectors or swingers - - We don't fuck people we don't consider friends. But you don't HAVE to fuck us to be our friend. Our friend list, right now, has maybe a dozen couples on it...only one of which we are currently (and infrequently, I might add) playing with. Personally, we're not looking for more people to play with until this whole COVID thing is a LOT more under control. Like SweettAndH, we prune the garden quite frequently and usually delete "friends" if there is no movement to get to know one another better in some way within several weeks at most. *shrug*
swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - OMG FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!
BTW A car battery charger works great too...........lol
(So i hear) :z
swingtown - a new show on cbs - We loved it as well. We assume, as of after "Dancing with a stars" dancing school were packed, after a few episodes of SWINGTOWN, Swingers clubs will be getting a new crowd. :)
Just wish HBO came up with this idea. Then we would get to see real sex. :)
RV Swingers? - - We've just bought a new RV and are in the process of buying an RV park. Would love to host a group from Swingular.
Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Dick Size - - I saw a % study a number of years ago (wish I had saved it.. as this comes up occationally). Naturally my bigest interest is where I fit in the figures (in the 90% range for me)Big, big smile. I knew a couple who ran a swingers mag. years ago and saw the defination of Hung (2 hands full with a piece left over). The ladys say it's not the size as long as it's enough (now what is "enough"?), it's how it's used. I've been too large for one lady and not large enough for one. I think we all seek the perfuct fit and variety is one of the spices of life. Aint research is a wonderful thing!
Utah Soft Swappers meet and great - Button up 134 Pierpont, Salt Lake City - [quote=Smartflirts]Recon knows what’s up. They have been around a while and they are trolling you. LOL.
Our profile talks a little about softswap and how some fullswap couples can be douchebags to those who don’t full swap. Some of those douchebags WISH they had been more open and cool to us when we first started. The truth is the LS is and should be just fun. No matter your level of play or even no play and just social fun...social fun, flirting, and being open and dressing sexy is our favorite thing. Swapping, at any level, is great as is any sexual experience with the RIGHT people. It’s all the other fun stuff that surrounds those experiences that really makes it fun.[/quote]
Fwiw, We know RECON. We've actually met once or twice IRL and know his (her?) sense of humor. In fact, we even know the origin of their screen name. It's, like, short for 'recondition' or 'reconstruction' or 'recontour' or something like that.
Anyway, I just thought I would use his/her acerbic comment as a teaching moment to help anyone new to the scene with some of the jargon or slang, if you will, that swingers use so that they'll know which tab (usually A) goes into which slot (usually B)...and when.
Nobody ever told us this valuable insider info when we were noobs and we made a LOT of swinger faux pas. We were taking off our clothes at wholly inappropriate times (and places), tabs were going into the wrong slots (often even into the wrong genders!), dogs and cats were sleeping together...it was MAYHEM. It took us many years to figure it all out on our own and by the time we actually did figure it out we were old and decrepit and nobody wanted to swap (soft OR hard) with us anymore.
Now all we're left with is ULTRA soft swap which usually involves using sock puppets, pantomiming sex, while we watch another couple...also using their own sock puppets. It's quite sad and pathetic.
[img]https://www.askideas.com/media/25/They-Love-To-Get-Fisted-Funny-Sock-Puppets.jpg[/img]
Tampa, Florida - Howl at the Moon, Channelside. July 1, 2006 - - Just curious as to who all is going to HOWL AT THE MOON IN CHANNELSIDE (Tampa) this Saturday night. Apparently there is a swingers meet and greet. We are soooo trying to get a sitter and would love to meet some people there. Send us an email if you ae going.
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