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Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - I was looking through the forum subjects and when I came upon this one and looked I wondered why I hadn't commented, since I am a swinger and am poly for quite a few years and I am involved with 2 women as secondary relationships. Someone said "poly is about being monogomous within a plural relationship." The term monogamous doesn't even enter into poly. Poly relationships can be primary, secondary or tertiary. Further people can be added on add-infinitem, so long as everyone involved in particularly primary and soemtimes secondary relationships are consentual about that aspect. In tertiary relationships it is necessary that that they be aware of all other relaionships and OK with that concept. I also belong to a Poly group that is not like Yahoo or AOL groups. It is privately owned and is open to poly and poly friendly people. While I know that a small number of the group does swing, they do not advertise. Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly. We definitely do swing and I have 2 secondary relationships. One could be a primary if she could get over the hurt from a failed..abusive marriage of 18 years. We met thru swinging and will continue until I can't walk talk or motovate. My wife while not professing to be poly is in love with that lady as well as I am. We would invite her to join us as a primary relationship and have mentioned that to her... She is afraid to "lay my heart out and have it stomped on again". So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I don't have any problems with poly and swinging. We have met people while swinging and I have fallen in love or they have fallen in love with my wife or me. Swinging and poly are definitely compatable..at least for us.

How often do you think this happens - -

T4REAL69 & Crew,

It's a preference thing. You're in this to have fun, not do things that you don't like or disagree with. If you are upfront and honest with eachother in the beginning, you should be able to decide what works for you. I see that no one mentioned that some women are not in it for the "another man" experience. We have to remember that not all of us are in this for the same thing. If a guy gets excited about seeing his wife with another female and not another male, there is nothing worng with that. We all know what we like and don't like. However, if he's not going to be cool with MFM, then he should be ok with there not being any FMF, if the woman decides that the fairest route would be MFMF. We have decided that the latter works best for us. I have no particular interest in watching my wife with another guy while I pull my pud. She's not into the DP or having two guys at once, so that leave us with couples. There is no insecurity, because my wife is with another guy with a couple. It's more about equality and fairness. Couples that play together stay together. By that, when you make your decisions on what make you happy, make sure you are both happy with them.

-Don- P.S. BTW, I have a really good topic in the free thinkers forum that I would like the LDS Swingers members of the group to shed some light on. Hell any member for that matter. Just click the link at the bottom of this post. _{Proud member of "Free Thinkers"}

How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - For the most part, DON'T ASK... There are WAY more NON-SWINGERS in the country than swingers, so your chances of your friends being swingers is slim. There are a few things that will point to swinging. Check her closet. If there is allot of club wear the chances are better. Ask about their vacations. If they mention a place like HEDO they are pretty much swingers.. If there is a couple you would like to play with you can create a fun night and when things feel right, ask if they have ever thought about swinging... Keep in mind that not all swingers want to be KNOWN due to family, friends, jobs etc. Good luck... ... Steve

Excuse me? But are you guys swingers? - Excuse me? But are you guys swingers? - I think that just be respectful and ask straight up if they are in the "lifestyle" . If they aren't they won't know what you are talking about or if they are then you have a straight answer...yes. No one will ever be offended if they don't know what you are talking about. Also you might ask what they are talking about if they seem to be hinting..... Like ask... are you talking about swinging?... I guess it all depends on a number of factors... Are these people neighbors, someone you've just met and don't really know them or them you....Are these acquaintences that you know fairly well that are talking maybe to find out if you are in the lifestyle... So the reaponce is basically conditional... Can they hurt you? If not then what's to loose.

Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - I wanna watch a reality show where those two polyg families, the Browns and the Williams, swing and swap wives and stuff.

Party Group for Non-Redheads - Wouldn't such a group without such flaws be great? - {Warning...this is a goofy parody, not to be taken seriously!!! Warning for the seriousness police!! We've been in this lifestyle awhile, have attended some parties and would like to throw a question out there for debate. Not to get anyone's panties all in a wad by golly, just as a debate of general interest. Yeah, a debate for fun. I like to party with only those folks that I find extremely attractive--you know, those folks that look like me. To that end, I was wondering what you folks thought about starting a group where only non-redheads are invited? Mind you, I've nothing against those redheaded swingers out there, I'm sure they're fine folks. It's just that I find tanned bodies to be much healthier appearing and, lets be honest, redheads don't tan -- they burn. And when we have beach parties it really pains me to see all these redheads slathering on tanning solution yet still burning. Ouch, I can just do without that vision. I feel bad for them, I have great sympathy for their condition. Plus, redheads tend to have lots of freckles. I'm sure that SOME people find freckles to be attractive, just not me. There's nothing wrong with freckles though, I guess. What do you all think? Should we create such a party group to exclude these freckled folk so that we don't all have to play Rorschach games trying to decipher if all those freckles connected represent anything? Oh sure, I could have just created a group or a party event and simply stated my preferences and given information as to how to join my group or party and how to prove to me that you're not a redhead. I've every right to do that and, seeing that we all have our PERSONAL preferences, I believe most folks here would be very supportive of that. But I thought it'd be much more fun to have a public discussion as to the majorities feelings about the "redheaded" look and whether there was an overall agreement that such a non-redheaded party would be popular. NOT to belittle the redheads, mind you, just to have a frank and open discussion. Isn't that what this forum is for, to discuss peoples' physical features that they can't possibly change? Right here in public? Yeah, so don't be negative about my post here, OK? I'm just trying to start a constructive dialog. BTW, I don't mean strawberry blondes. I think those would be OK. As long as they can get a nice tan. Without freckles. I still haven't started my group yet, or announced a proposed party or time. I'm awaiting all of your input as to this great idea and what you yourselves think about these redheaded swinger folk. So post up your opinions so that I can decide whether I want to start this group or not! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OK, I'm trying to be tongue-in-cheek here, so I'm already in trouble with the seriousness police. But is my approach here really all that different than what has seemed to be occurring on this board lately? I really have NO objection at all to folks personal preferences. None. We all have them. But for gosh sake, just create the booty call, the party event, the group or whatever. Place your preferences in your profile and on the event, group, or booty call description. Is a public debate as to the popularity of my physical features or your physical features really necessary? What is the REAL goal of even starting such a debate? Just make the group, create the party, state your personal preferences and interested folks will follow you and other folks will not feel belittled by a public debate about the merits of their "look." I think it is fantastic for us all to have as many different options available as possible. I LOVE variety! :) I just re-read this before I post. I hope the first part of it's taken in the goofy way that it's meant. :)

Polyamory - Please share your thoughts.... - polyamory Definition: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships bigamy Definition: marrying while one has a wife or husband still living, from whom no valid divorce has been effected. polygamy Definition: 1. the practice or condition of having more than one spouse, esp. wife, at one time.. 2. the habit or system of mating with more than one individual, either simultaneously or successively. swingers Definition: a person who engages in the exchanging of spouses for sexual activities. monogamy Definition: 1. marriage with only one person at a time. 2. the practice of having only one mate. 3. the practice of marrying only once during life. (btw. i didn't write these myself. they were on dictionary.com)

RECOGNIZING OTHER SWINGERS - Outside of clubs & parties. - Total blank on both. This is the first I've heard of it.

Orlando freaks - Orlando swingers - Let’s get something going

Swingers clubs are the new singles hangout? - - seems strange that singles would go to a swing club to find a lifetime mate :) But, at the same time, we have heard of alot of single straight men and women going to bi-bars, or gay bars. Maybe it's all just that Curiosity thing you know? They may be going to see what it is like at one. What do you think?