Biola Swingers in California

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Preconceived Ideas - - It's been a long time, but I'm not sure that I had any preconceived ideas. I'm poly and responsibile non-monogamy was nothing new to me. On the other side of this relationship B knew I was Poly and she didn't quite understand it but trusted me. She was "curious" that is to say if she saw FF play in a flic she got so gushing wet.. but because of her catholic upbringing, she couldn't be Bi....that's a sin.....??.... Well we went to a party and luckily a couple and staff members sat down and talked to her and she watched people and talked to others and found out they were not pervs. Nurses and medical personel are probably the largest group in swinging. Cops, (police for the people who don't like the other term) truck drivers, mechnics, architects, contractors, engineers etc... So a good cross section of the general populaion are represented.. When she found this out...she embrassed the lifestyle and she loves to dance and... let her libido run. She was no longer curious after a couple of parties.... So she can get nude do whatever she wishes and even have orgasms on the dance floor dancin with herself.... WOW... So her preconceived ideas was that swingers were pervs... Oh...and I guess we are... By the vanilla world.....Give em time... pretty soon maybe everyone will cum over to the lifestyle,,lol

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - DON AND DAVE You two r probably best butt buddies since your two jerk off are stupid and compare your cock next to each other, you also are computer rambo and btfw if u can't finger out what COMPUTER RAMBO is u r big loser than everyone thinks, plus u all have to put your loser 2 cents on things HAVE A GOOD DAY

Las Vegas looking for swingers info. - - There isn't a " Swing " hotel per say....When the Lifestyle convention is in town they have Hospitality Suites in different hotels..... Check Out www.plushparties.com and www.couplesoasis.com ....The red rooster is wild, but has tons of single guys... the Oasis ( also wild ) doesn't allow them unless a cpl brings one. Good luck Vcpl45

Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - first and foremost, boundaries must always be respected and no one ever has the right to do things to another person without their permission. however, i also acknowledge that at a party where the intention/perception that playing will or is occurring can create some areas of "unknown". it is important to find out what is ok and when it is ok. for some, that means french kissing within the first few minutes, others may not. i have seen different ways that people have tried to find out. the simplest and most direct is to ask. however, i have seen people do so by "testing the waters" - small hug, then a bigger one, then a peck, then a lingering kiss, then french kiss, etc. and at each step trying to "read" the body language of the other. and i have seen that some people have become so "desensitized" to some of these things that their starting point is further on the scale than others. i dont have a problem with someone trying to open-mouth kiss my wife (even if they have only met for 2 minutes - which she has done with some guys and girls that she was immediately attracted to). i have a problem if they try, she tells them "no", and then they try again. but we go to these parties with the mindset that if there is a mutual interest of the involved parties, then sex is a likely outcome for the evening (unless the party is a "meet-n-greet"). and for us, open-mouth kisses are part of foreplay with our partners. we have even had some parties that we have just "made-out" with some without engaging in sex. ultimately, it is important to find the common ground of what is acceptable for those involved and being respectful of that. it is also important to politely inform someone when they have crossed a boundary. it is unfair of us to expect that others implicitly know all of our boundaries.

Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - Morality has to do with not hurting each other in a relationship. Nothing to do with others.

Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

"Not interested" replies - - It is more common than one thinks... Not responding to a note/email/whatever one wants to call the message one sends from a site to the site... It\'s a bloody shame that people are so rude.. As for the kiss thing...I think people see a profile and want to show it to their SO so they earmark it with a kiss or add people to their friends list. It\'s the only tool one has to tag the couple and easily get back to that profile.. Sometimes people forget how to uses all the tools and then after a day or two they forget who you were and how to find you then another time they are looking and say Oh theres a nice couple lets send a kiss or add them to our friends list.....After a dozen sites similar I think that people may also be a bit shy too.. What do I day to Mary and Phill, he\'s a doctor and has a TV show and I thought he didn\'t like swingers.... I think I\'ll just call and save money on my car insurance ...I\'ll call Gieco... Just a thought... but people spend money to get on a site and can\'t write a note.. They may do fine face to face but to write a note ...... No way....My theory... What\'s yours? A subject for Lenord Nemoy\'s show \"Unsolved Mysteries\".... Which stretches from the inner mind to the outer extremedies.... you have entered the swinger zone.....

Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - We prefer not to mix the two sides of our life up! That is, we keep to ourselves that we are swingers with everyone except other swingers. Isn\'t that what \"Discreet\" means? We have only had one couple approach us at a \"non-swinger\" social function and talk to us like we should be getting together with them - all while in front of our real-life friends. When this thoughtless couple left our table, the other 3 couples there asked what that was all about. We actually ignored the question and went right on enjoying our evening -- without any real trouble. We always talk to each other in private when we are out at a night club and wonder between ourselves how this or that person might be in bed -- but we never act on those impulses. It is our belief that most people would be shocked, but not necessarily in awe about our swinging behavior. Therefore, we do not ask non-swingers to play with us. Most of the other responses here are right on target. Those that do not have experience with swinging are not really prepared to handle the social/sexual interactions between 3 or 4 people -- hell, most swingers we know (including us) don\'t do a very good job of handling it! There certainly seem to be alot of very hot swingers to choose from at this website, we wonder why you would have to go outside to find what you are looking for?

Hello summer - Swingers couple party - Let's hear the explanation

KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=CHEFFETTE] There's little journalism here in Utah; it's about driving views whose numbers can be used for ad revenue. Titillation drives views. The curiosity gap ("You won't believe what happens next!") drives views. Informing is never considered necessary, only attracting views and/or clicks. There are hungry children in every county of this state but a salacious and sexxxay story is what they choose to put on the news? Useless entertainment masquerading as a higher purpose.[/quote] Thank you for using the word "Titillation" To add to my comment, Heidi, please only friend us if you paid for a membership, that would be true journalism, doing anything you can for a story. Also, I agree with Cheffette, please feed the children next. A middle class family with kids walking in on the nasty is wrong, but more wrong is starving children that don't have a meal for tomorrow. We as 'Merican's focus on what "titillates" us and we forget what is wrong with our cuntry. We focus on starving children in Africa, but not here at home. Let's focus on US for a change.