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Newbie "outdoorsy" couple interested in the softer side. - Wish to develop a friendship with another couple in S ID, N UT - [quote=EVILDOERS] What, specifically, feels intimidating? Or perhaps a better question would be what do you fear? Are you afraid that one of you will fall in love with a playmate and leave the marriage? Or that one or both of you will like swinging too much and become big ole sluts? LOL Or maybe you're afraid of contracting a horrific sexually transmitted disease and your junk will fall off? *grin* Most of us are TERRIBLY bad at risk assessment and more often than not we fear things that are statistically FAR less likely to happen than things we don't seem to fear all that much. Some people won't fly in planes even though they are FAR less likely to die in a plane crash than driving their car to Walmart. And many swingers are deathly afraid of getting AIDS even though it's really quite hard to contract compared to, say, HSV, which most adults have actually already been exposed to. Identifying why you're intimidated might be a better use of your time than trying to find a needle in a haystack. But in the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If you think finding another newbie couple is the least intimidating way to dip your toes in then, by all means, do that. Those of us who have been around the scene for a while, however, could tell you some of the drawbacks to meeting people who are newbies. Personally, we would seek out a more experienced couple, albeit one who is NOT pushy and is willing to go at your pace and is looking for friendship more than sex. The reason I say that is if things DO turn sexual, a more experienced couple is less likely to freak out or have other issues that they haven't already dealt with. Either way, good luck.[/quote] Damn! You must be like an intuitive or something. Yes, my biggest fear is my wiener falling off...and then, my libido cruelly kicking into overdrive. Can you imagine???!!!😳 I believe my use of "intimidating" was a little off. How about nervous? You know...a little jittery, some anxiousness, and excitement all rolled into one...sorta what you'd feel if you were a beginner.😉 Re HIV/AIDS: Looking at the statistics doesn't comfort me in the context of hard core LSing. Now, I could mentally reshape those numbers to suit my desires but...really, it's of no concern to me as we're not interested in the harder side of things. Thanks for your input. I have made a few adjustments to my post and our profile.

Friend collectors or swingers - - My opinion, which hasn't changed in ages, is this, and I'm not chastising anyone, just offering my 2 cents. One of the recurring and biggest problem that swingers face is that they decide what they personally like, or want, and then assume everyone else should choose the same path or they don't understand why how everyone else doesn't feel the same way they do. I've read the forum posts for years and the same questions recirculate on a regular basis. "Why don't people want to be the type of swingers we are?" "We don't want friends, we just want to have sex." "We don't necessarily want to have sex until we are friends." "We really only want friends but rarely play." All valid forms of the lifestyle and perfectly acceptable to different people. The lifestyle can take work. It typically isn't easy and will take some time and effort to achieve your lifestyle goals. Sure it's helpful to post your desires in your profile but I'm sure people read those only rarely, or maybe they are drunk searching, or maybe they can't read. :) There are all types. Try not to get frustrated because someone else isn't following you lead. Be patient. Within one or two convos you should be expressing your goals and figuring out the goals of the people you are trying to get to know. Get a system that weeds out the people you are't interested in, something that works for you. You will get better with time and hopefully someday what you are looking for will be much easier to find. However, until then, realize life isn't black and white, nor is swinging. There are as many varieties of swingers as there are ice cream flavors, or flavored condoms. haha. Don't expect others to want the same thing as you but certainly look for those that do. Be patient, kind and realize everyone is possibly looking for a different scenario than you. Some people love to send blind requests, some hate it. Right or wrong, it's life. Accept that there is mound of bullshit between you and that perfect couple/single male/female/trans/group/poly/donkey/toys only/DTF.... (Well, you get the point we are all looking for something different)that you are looking for. So don't be frustrated. Accept it will be a challenge and work on better ways to make your life easier. There won't be a good answer only many shades of grey. "Don't try to bend the spoon, for that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself." And to the single males that post ridiculous stuff? WTF? Ugh. You make us all look like mentally disabled Neanderthals. "Me have dick. Me like pussy. Stick it good."

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - You know what's funny about DVP is if you are with the right couple, DVP is actually not that big of a deal as far as the comments about "not wanting to touch another guy's dick. When you are in this situation, you aren't thinking about the other guys dick. You are more focused on what she is experiencing. It's very hot to see a woman in total sexual bliss while she is stuffed full with two cocks. Although, you have to be somewhat selective and don't try it with two monster cocks if she isn't used to it. That can be more uncomfortable for her than fun. DVP is very hot if you take your time, get her ready for it, lots of foreplay etc.. And for the guys with this macho, homophobic hangup, c'mon already, you know more than anyone if you are gay or not. If you're not, you should be comfortable. I think the guys that have homosexual tendencies are the most hung up about getting labeled homosexual just because they touched another guys dick. If my wife is having fun and getting off on the situation, I don't care what I'm touching. I'm all about pleasing her..

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - If I look at my life in general I spend a hell of a lot more time talking about a whole lot of things, compared to talking sex...and even less time actually having sex....SO I guess we do have to fill the rest of the day after those exciting 20 seconds....

Who is going to Younge swingers week HEDO? - anyone going? - We are going but will be there for Secret Crush Week. Feb. 4th-11th.

Who in the relationship initiated the idea of joining the lifest - And why? - I lost my virginity to my hubby, and had no other partners Before we married. We were fortunately able to befriend an older (25's) couple in college who were swingers. When I started having all the usual "what am I missing" emotions, he suggested that we pursue the lifestyle. We were rather young for it... started at age 21... but it has become an integral part of our lives. Now we have been married over 17 years and have a better relationship and sex lives than ever.

LDS Survey Results - - Wow.... just wow. I would have hoped that since we have all made the decision to swing and embrace the lifestyle, that people would be accepting of one another. Does it really matter if someone is Mormon? Is it truly necessary to bash someone's religion to that extent? There should be no place or tolerance for that here. My husband and I are active LDS, and I am not ashamed to say so. We both attended BYU and we have no guilt. We took a marriage prep class in college and the teacher told us that whatever happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. As long as both parteners are comfortable with what is going on and nobody is being degraded, it's all good. We view extra partners as a sex toy... nothing more. We keep our lines of communication open, we only play when our marriage is strong and we are not having any disagreements. It has actually saved our marriage and we are doing better than we ever have before. We both hold prominent callings in our ward. I thought this survey was very interesting... we haven't had much opportunity to meet other LDS swingers in so.cal (though we hear they do exist), so seeing the experiences and beliefs of others elsewhere is very nice.

Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Shit before long we're gonna have to start being built with Two cocks just to keep up! =)

can we swing and still not be in sin ? - - For what it's worth here is my 2 cents on the subject. I agree with Don on what he said earlier in this thread. The entire concept of sin was created by the religious leaders as a form of control. Every organized religion serves 3 primary purposes; 1) to explain the why's and how's of creation, 2) to give a foundation of how to live, 3) to give comfort about death. From the beginning of time religious leaders have used the power of religion as a means of controlling the masses to do what the leaders wanted or at least thought was best. Judao-Christian and Islamic religions went a step farther and created the concept of sin as a method of control. They created a list of commandments and declared that to violate these was to be in sin. Some sins were of greater import than others but it all equalled to the same thing, commit too many or even one of the wrong ones and you would be barred from from enjoyment and peace offered in the afterlife. So to answer the original question here, Can you swing and not be in Sin? Absolutely you can. Sin cannot exist seperate of heavily regulated and controlled organized religion. Since Religion itself is a fabrication of man, then so Sin is also a fabrication. I don't know too many swingers that particularly care for anyone else telling them what to do, how to do it, or whom they can do it with, regardless of the area of their life. Especially when it comes to their sex life.

Valentines Spice Party Entertainment Vote - Place your vote for your choice of live entertainment for the Spice Party - Hell go for the gusto. Hire the live band. You can have the hip hop playing loud and long in between sets. Let's dance nasty to some rock and blues with the HH?? After all, variety is the spice of life right? Swingers should know this.