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Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - (from Terry) And now I'm starting to understand why Evil and I seem to have senses of huimor that sometimes run in the same direction. It's because, in at least some pretty important ways, we see the world in the same way. I'm here for two reasons. First, I was doing this for a while back when it was one Hell of a lot harder than it is now for single men, they were very nearly completely excluded from the lifestyle which, then, was usually called, by both those inside and outside of it, "wife swapping". The very title, and the basic premise of things then, essentially disqualified single men. Now I'm talking about the late '70s and early '80s. Actual "hippiedom", and the free love philosophy was either diminishing, dying off, or dead, depending on where in the country you were. But we'd managed to change society's general view of some things, and sex was one of the biggest. The attitude change, especially on the part of women, who were no longer automatically "sluts" if they enjoyed sex and didn't need to be married, or engaged, or even "going steady" to indulge, together with effective and easily available birth control (illegal in every state until sometime in the early '60s, even condoms were ostensibly sold as and were labeled as being specifically for "disease prevention", and no worries about deadly and/or incurable STDs had changed the world, and birthed what is often referred to as a "sexual revolution". It was almost like falling off a log to go out on a weekend and find an amenable girl. So why the Hell was I bothering with the "wife swapping" world, when it was so damned difficult to even penetrate, let alone to "get something"? For the same reason I was one of those long-haired (except for my 3 years in the Army) hippie freak. I LOVE people who ignore what the rest of the world is telling them to do or not to do, and I want to be around them. Yeah, there are all sorts of individual exceptions, but, for the most part, as compared to the vanilla people, swingers are more intelligent, more likely to use their heads for something besides a hat rack, and, despite the various complaints about certain kinds of people or actions that pop up here, a Hell of a lot less judgmental and intolerant of people who aren't the same as they are. They, again as a general rule, think for themselves, and don't just latch on to the currently popular opinion about whatever. Why I'm here now is that I'm married to a girl 24 years younger than me, who happens to enjoy a couple things I can do but which I'm not really into, and she's at that so-called female sexual peak point in her life. And I figure that my main purpose in the world is to do everything I can to make her as happy as she can be. Being witches, we don't have the standard "you belong to me and only me" attitude about our life partners, we don't think sexual fun with some other person does a damned thing to diminish our relationship; if I have sex with Jane Doe or she has sex with John Smith (and maybe Jane Smith, too), we are still the same people afterwards that we were beforehand. So getting back into it, and bringing her into it, was a great way to help her have the kinds of fun she likes, and for me to hang around with a group of people that I really like. And meet and play with girls I really like. I'm one of those weird guys who does read the profiles before looking at the pics, and even once in a great while even send off an email before I've even seen any of the pics besides the main profile pic. It's just a lot more important who she is and what she's like than it is what she looks like. And I'll find lots more girls that I like and respect here than I ever could in the vanilla world. One thing about what Team said, though. Swinging can bring out and amplify problems in a relationship. But avoiding that is just a question of attitude. First, you have to absolutely trust in your partner's honesty with you. Even though the Mrs. has a hall pass, the only provision being that I meet any guy she might play with before she does, so I can feel like she's going to be safe with him, I know I'd be really upset if she ever started messing around with someone on the side without me even knowing it was going on. But In don't ever even worry about that actually happening, because I trust her completely. Just like she trusts me, not only to not start a secret "affair" with someone, but to never try to even influence who she does or doesn't play with. She knows that when I meet some potential playmate of hers, even if for some reason I think he's a total jerk, I'm not going to say anything. She's the one who will be playing with him, not me, so it's her job, not mine, to decide who's worth playing with. She knows the only time I'll have anything to say about whether she should or not is if I get an impression somehow that the guy can't be trusted to treat her well, and not ever hurt her, ever do or try to do anything she doesn't want. Point is, if you both don't totally trust each other, you're likely to have problems, even if neither of you ever actually does anything sneaky. The second thing is that you can't have the "normal" attitude about your partner, where you feel he or she is in a way your property, and if anyone else uses your property, you're being stolen from. You can't have that feeling that sex equates to love, the kind of love that makes someone want to permanently be with someone. else. If you feel that way, you'll end up worrying that having sex with another person might make him or her decide they've found a better companion, and leave you. Sex is something that goes with that permanent relationship kind of love, but it isn't what determines it. If you can't truly see, and feel, that sex itself is just another enjoyable activity that you do with people you like, just another form of friendship based intimacy like discussing some problem you have with a friend, you're probably going to have problems. If you're at all, in any way or for any reason, at all uncomfortable with your partner having sex with other people, or he or she is uncomfortable with you doing it, then you're probably going to run into difficulties. So it's all a matter of attitude. If you and your partner are truly completely fine with the other having sex with someone else, and if you both trust each other completely, swinging isn't going to destroy your relationship. If both of those attitude type things are not really and truly true for either of you, then it just might. And about that 70 years old thing, Hell, I'm only 6 years away from it, and I haven't yet run into any indications of decline. So far, the girls I've ended up in the bedroom with have been happy with the results. While I haven't yet (thank the Goddess), had to just rely on that ages old bit of wisdom, the one that says "when you're too old to cut the mustard, you can always lick the jar", it ain't everyone that can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue, and I suppose that might be helping me out, but, then again, that always helps out, no matter how young you are [em]Emo_4[/em] But just in case that needing to be taken care of bit is one of those things that happens all of a sudden, like maybe it hits you at one minute past midnight on your 70th birthday, I think I better get Evil to hook me up with those friends of his, so we can have that room all arranged for and booked. Only Evil's limiting himself. I want 3 if those insatiable 22 year olds, one redhead, one blonde, and one brunette. When I commit suicide, I want it to be a truly memorable event, even though I won't be around to remember it. [em]Emo_45[/em] I mean, we can set up cameras and stuff in there, then my wife can get it all edited into a good porn flick, and the proceeds can help her out, in case we haven't managed to find her a nice sugar daddy by then.

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - GUZZICPL, I disagree. We all try to present things about ourselves on our profiles that attract others. There is nothing wrong with drawing attention to your best features. Your statement just shot 3/4 of the members of this site out of the water. I cannot even count how many cornball sexual names I've found on this site.

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - I'm interested

Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - So this has been discussed a few times, but I'm surprised how few people here have heard of it.. The [b]black-ring on the right-hand[/b] has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community). - It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago. - Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it. - Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it. - It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing". - We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them. It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..").. My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter. More Info here: - http://www.okswing.com/index.php/en/easyblog/entry/black-ring-right-hand-how-to-find-swingers-in-public - http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html - http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - [quote=MORKANDMINDY]I think the fact that the site hasn't offered lifetime membership specials for so long has really impacted people's ability to connect with newer couples. [/quote] Contrare, Mr. Mork. Last month, our lifetime membership was $35. just sayin...

Question - do you talk about other swingers? - Hehehe.... Tara - Your Cody is really a hunk and quite the ultimate in men... count me in, but make sure he knows that while I do much in the bedroom I'm NOT doing windows.... k? K_T - Why yes I do :) Aren't I the lucky girl? ((Huggs)) to you all! Enjoy! -Te

Help advice needed - Played with best friends - How does the saying go? Make friends out of swingers, not swingers out of friends.

Swing Camp (7/15 - 7/17) - Swingers Campout in Birch Creek Idaho - Yes, we have considered Fall Creek and an older group used to hold campouts there in the past (called "Booty Camp"). One of the primary considerations for us as a group is that we have some place we can reserve because it would suck to plan something like that and get people, especially ones from out of the area, to come only to find that someone beat us to the spot (it is not uncommon up here for people to take their campers to spots they like, such as Fall Creek, and leave them there for weeks or months, which makes it difficult to plan an event. There is a reservable area at Fall Creek, but we didn't get to it in time. It is something we will be looking at for next year, for sure.

Bryon - Text first - Old fashion wouldn't be on a swingers wedsite.

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - "I think, therefore I fuck!" I need some hatred, maybe I'll change our screen name to: "WhiteCockParty". Then, Kristy Lynn will hate me. ULUV, don't worry about it bro. They don't hate the "who" you are as much as the "what" you are. Not that it will add comfort. Most couples see single males as vultures looking to get laid at the expense of someone's husband. Some couples however, us included (rarely) invite a single male in the mix for some voyeuristic fantasy of watching your wife get the lights fucked out of her. I think the negative stigma though, is when you go to a party with your wife to meet a couple, and some rude, leechy guy, who can't see a signal if it hit him in the face, won't back off. Just because you are at a party as a swinger, doesn't mean you are walking in the door with a sign on your wife's vagina that says "Please, someone, anyone, stick your dick in here". We look for quality and fun. We are not out for purely sexual reasons. The fun, the connection, the right people, and the enigma of all the newness really create fabulous sex!! A single guy looking to cum on your wife's eyebrows, well, not always hot and romantic. Bottom line. Single guys have a place in the swing scene. But, if I could give you any advice. Post your profile..... and wait for an invite! If someone wants to fuck you, they will let you know. If they aren't contacting you, they aren't salivating for your cock. So, stand by, keep your dick ready, and wait for the green light. You won't be disappointed, and you will have more positive experiences.. We don't hate you, we just don't need you, until we're ready! Mr. X