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Observations from the other side of the room - Some unsolicited advice - [quote=EVILDOERS]All good advice. You should give seminars to the GAZILLIONS of single males who think female swingers are nymphomaniac, wanton sluts who will fuck anyone, any time, anywhere and that their husbands/partners are pathetic, impotent cucks who don't know how to please their partners and need a "real" man to satisfy their wives/girlfriends. You could make BANK teaching the utterly clueless how to act like a gentleman and do a service to the lifestyle by helping to weed out the twatwaffles who have no business even ATTEMPTING to enter a lifestyle they know nothing about and should leave immediately![/quote]
This. We dont want to resort to blocking single male messages but lately its getting to that point. I feel after CL closed its doors, a lot more SMs turned up here unfamiliar with the community.
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - Say "Hi, how are you two doing tonight"
Seems to work for breaking the ice for us.
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - The above comments are very interesting, and do promote thinking about how it all began.
I grew up during the time when 'swapping' was just starting to catch hold. Swappers were married couples, and they did indeed swap partners. Single people were called 'swingers' at that time as they had many partners for sex. Basically singles did not have a steady relationhship with just one partner. An unmarried couple could be swingers, as they could go their separate ways at any time. A married couple did not easily have the option to go separate ways, so they remain swappers unless they got a divorce. Keep in mind that the two terms applied only to those that actively sought out new sex partners, and did not apply to the population in general.
Over time, perhaps about 1965-1969, the word 'swapper' became a bit derogatory, so the married ones adopted the word 'swinger' as it seemed to be more lively and exciting sounding. Thus they moved into word usage territory of the singles. Today both singles and couples share the word.
The meaning of words and their application change over time in the America language. As an example, the word 'Queer' changed to 'Fag' and later to 'Gay'. It took from about 1940 until about 1988 for the word 'queer' to evolve into 'gay'. It's still the same people, just a different word has been adopted that sounds more happy and exciting.
To say a single man looking to get laid is not a swinger, but a single lady looking to get laid is a swinger is totally wrong. Both are either horney, or both are swingers. There can be no distinction between the two.
So, where does that leave us? Today both singles and married couples share the word equally. That is, unless the American language is evolving again. Perhaps the word 'Humming Bird' (going from flower to flower for nectar) will become the singles new description.
First Meeting - - After about 5 years of being in the lifestyle that is still a problem for us on knowing when is the right time to take it to the next level. Our first time was unexpected. It was back when then web cam became popular and we played on cam with some friends of ours. One evening we went out to have a few drinks with them. After an evening of drinking we said our good-byes at the bar and drove home. We didn't realize that they followed us home and pulled in the drive right behind us. She asked can she use the bathroom and when she came out of the bathroom she was naked. And we have been swingers ever since. We are still very close friends with them and hang out all the time.
Polyamory - three (or more)-way RELATIONSHIPS - Hi.Well I have read all the posts and thought I would post as well. My wife and I are poly. We too are just at the beginning of a poly triad, our second. The poly life style is hard to define due to the fact that there are lots of combimnations. With most of the posts I would have to agree with all that they said. Dont keep score, but most of all be honest with everyone. In our expirence take things slow and one day at a time. In one post it was said that holding hands in a mall was not taken well.... who cares! it is your life if you are happy then what is the problem. in most cases the on lookers are probably wishing they had what you have! Our first triad lasted 4 years. We were all young and she ended finding the man of her dreams and they got married. That and as abit of a twist they are swingers. As far as suport as a poly familly look at poly groups on facebook. We are members of Polyamory Edmonton. It may not be close to you but we are all open and willing to talk!
geting in LOVE while swinging - - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on:
Aug 5, 2008 - 7:12 am
Someone mentioned Polyamory. Poly people, at least in most communities, feel that swinging and poly are not compatible.. Fact is, why not? If you are open and honest about your poly leanings and totally honest with your mate and any relationships you may have... then why not poly as well. I know that several people in here and on other sites, swingers feel threatened if you are overtly open abut your feelings. If one truely loves and trusts their partner/SO/wives; husbands/girlfriends; bopyfriends and whatever other relationships that I may have missed, they should not be threatened. If you fall in love with someone that you have sex with.... you have 2 choices..... Tell that person and their spouse and your spouce and see where it goes or simply walk away with the thoughts and get on with your life. The 3rd option is not an option.... If one is poly...thier primary relationship/s take precedence.
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I don't think it is so much of trust and love that is necessary for a poly relationship. There are, in theory at least, benefits. OTOH, NILIF. So, you are going to add complications. Many marriages already are at risk or in divorce. So, it is difficult to handle one person. What about 3? Now, it is a very nice idea to say that whomever the wife plays with is whomever she plays with. However, the reality is that it will have some effect on me. Is it always so easy to divorce yourself from the situation? Yes, in theory, you can say that when you come home, the other people are out of your lives. In practice, it often has a way of creeping back in to the primary relationship.
flintstones swingers ? yes or no - - I'm trying to figure out when I thouth I might want to be a swinger . I think I have traced it back to the flintstones . any thoughts ?? Everyone knows that Barney and Fred were swapping Betty and Willma. I blame Hanna Barbera and thats my story. whats yours ?
Single Males - -
We too have met quite a few single males who have told us that it's much easier to get laid in the vanilla scene. If that's indeed the case I'd think that at least some of the younger single guys would prefer banging a hot young girl at a bar rather than some 45 year old milf on a swing site. Unless, of course, they get off on the fact that they're fucking a married woman. Don't discount the fairly high number of single guys who think married male swingers are pretty much all cucks and really enjoy the ego boost they get from fucking another guy's wife.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=NEWCOUPLE4FUN]So, Heidi has been stalking this thread... Sweet, please friend us :)
We can share stories about how your other "news" friends chose to partake, but not publicize. Your story portrayed a woman forced into the lifestyle. Anyone forced should get out immediately. That is just wrong. The woman "shown" was not a willing participant and was being abused. It's sad that this was not the focus. Abuse in any form is wrong. She could have just as easily been sold on craigslist to spice it up. This was a very poor excuse for journalism. Good luck with your next "story."
I'm sure this site thanks you for the free publicity though. Bring in the new recruits, as long as they are adults and making their own decisions...[/quote]
There's little journalism here in Utah; it's about driving views whose numbers can be used for ad revenue. Titillation drives views. The curiosity gap ("You won't believe what happens next!") drives views. Informing is never considered necessary, only attracting views and/or clicks.
There are hungry children in every county of this state but a salacious and sexxxay story is what they choose to put on the news? Useless entertainment masquerading as a higher purpose.
Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - We prefer Mexico over Jamaica. You get more for your dollar in Mexico. Hedo is so commercialized nowadays that in our opinion isn't any fun and whoever pointed out that Hedo isn't a lifestyle resort is correct. It is a clothing optional resort that has become popular with lifestylers that is all. I think that the only way to ensure that you will meet other like minded people would only go if you know of a resort takeover or you take some lifestyle buddies with you. Otherwise you will run into people that are just mostly into the nudist thing. The only time that we would even consider Hedo is if there was a lifestyle group doing a take over or at least a partial takeover. There really aren't any resort other than one that I can think of in Mexico that strictly caters to the lifestyle and personally we don't endorse that resort at this time due to a lot of issues they need to rectify. "J"
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