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Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Thoughts?[/quote]
Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all.
While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends.
ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships.
As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good.
One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules.
I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing.
Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷♂️
Thank you all for the riveting discussion!
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - We have a Land Rover Discovery and a Ford Expedition.
swingers helper... - I know some of us need this every now and again... - this is 4 u
kristy
First time? - - Well said by doers...I think its normal for different approaches to this as well. We've been members on here for quite sometime now, but we really havent done anything in this while...I guess we wouldn't call ourselves "swingers" either but we do enjoy going to the occasional party/event from time to time and catching up with old friends...both of you need that communication as one maybe "ready" whereas the other may not be...that being said...the one that feels "ready" should never be pushy...just take it slow...have fun..and in time, things will happen ;)
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=HT51210]We had a hard time buying tickets when the event first posted (and do meet the age requirement). Got some weird error and sent BMSHELL a screenshot to see if they'd seen it before. Not sure what was going on with it. We gave up on it after a while. Oh well, maybe next time .... :)[/quote]message them and get on the list I'm sure someone will dropout!!!!
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=NEWFUNCOUPLEXXX][quote=TOTO73]only done it once, but would love to try it again. any volunteers [/quote] we haven't done but we are willing!!! lol[/quote]
We would love to try!! ;)
Swingers of Color - - Ever wonder why their are so few BLACkS, HISPAINICS, or ASIANS in the swinging life style?
ARE THE LIFESTYLE SWING COUPLES MORE SPIRITUALLY INCLINED - -
Great question,
I don't think lifestyle people are more or less. I think it's normal number are and are not regardless of the lifestyle question.
We have meet several swingers that continue to have issues with this. They feel that their beliefs in god don't allow for swinging. So at times they have major guilt issues with the lifestyle or even just being bisexual.
I personally don't get into that line of thinking because I believe that if everyone is in agreement and no one is getting hurt or lied to; then there is no "sin" with exploring the lifestyle.
Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I’ve seen 4 people sitting eating at a bar and they aren’t sitting with the person they showed up with. I figured that was a sign. I’ve noticed it at prohibition.
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