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Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - We would love to try both DP and DVP. It's one of my favorite fantasies!! ;)
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - Don, I completely agree. I'm not suggesting "friends first" folks are wrong. I'm just explaining:
1. Why WE don't use that phrase...and folks often make offensive assumptions about us because we don't.
2. Why WE are always a bit uneasy about contacting couples who DO use that phrase.
FYI, around where we live, we have this whole "lifestyle clique" who run around protesting WAY too much about how friends is all that matters and they aren't in it for the sex at all, and labeling anyone who disagrees with them as "bedpost notchers." Mostly though, the way you get in their crosshairs is by telling one of them "no thanks." So this is a bit of a sore subject for us...as we DID tell a few of them "no thanks" and we aren't about to lie and say we didn't become swingers for the sexual aspects. Duh! LOL
Virtual "Cheap Thrill Seekers" - - Where can we post the tools and d-bags that when told no thank you, all of a sudden you're a prude or a bitch or an asshole because you said no. What ever happened to the common courtesies and the rules that no means no. Just because this is a swingers site does not mean we will fuck you just because we have a profile here. Is there a tool-o-dex for that? Nothing more makes us say "OH DEAR GOD I MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE LETS FUCK" like being called names after politely turning you down.
Pink flamingo - How many swingers have a pink flamingo in their front yard? - We have seen the upside down pineapple in the grocery cart in the past
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - Good for you all and showing your true color i am proud of u, but i did NOTjoin this suite for topics as death and things that would bring down this site, Most people that would JOIN a site like this ios for friendship and sex and fun, so truthfully would u join a site like this and think of itof fun, if u say yes u lie
go ahead and whine at me so more i do not care what u say, or WHO says it
i do not call names and things like that anymore i want fun and sex, if u think u r not the same way
WHY and the hell here
and for one who want me to go away waaaaaaaaa
get over yourselfi join this site like any one else fun sex and frinedship forums should be for fun not boring and down beat topics so come on
last thing i have to say is" ENJOY LIFE DO NOT LET IT GET U DOWN"
A Place In The Lifestyle - - We have a local swingers club in Tampa that is advertised as a swinger clubs
and most seem to be in the swing lifestyle that is there and, we always have a
good time while there... but here is what we see as a little problem. The bar
part of the club is also open to non swingers(vanilla).And as we look around the
room we notice more & more couples coming knowing it is a lifstyle club and
loves the sexy atmosphere and loves to party but not to swap. We have talked
to a few couples who told us they like the swinger club environment and how
everyone is so open with their sexuality and love to play with each other, but
they are not into swapping with other people.
We know some will say couples likes this are not swingers and do not have a
place in the swinger lifestyle. When you go to a swinger club, you expect people
are there to meet and hook up with other swingers.
Would you still call them swingers?
And do thay have a place in the lifestyle?
Would love to here your thoughts!!!!!
lost with people - florida wanna be swingers - Teezin,
that was deffinately blunt!
but, sometimes blunt is the way to be. i was just looking through our friend list on another site and was thinking almost the same thing, when i came across this post. it always baffled me why there are three or four people that have us added to there friend list yet never speak or even answer a letter when written? perhaps they just like to look t at our pics?
if thats so, why not try to get together and who knows, maybe see the real thing up close!
i go as far as to condem this site or even this state, as the same thing occurs on just about every site but, we deffinately feel your pain.
R&M
Swingers unnerve families at hotel - - We were there also at the Interlude event......Let me assure you No child was able to see any adult doing anything of anykind. There was no \"glass Atrium\" there were however glass elevators.. the Party was held in an enclosed invironment with security.. However to get to your rooms you had to take the glass elevators which are in the common area`s of the Crown Plaza......by the way all of the guest for the Interlude party were booked on the ninth and tenth floors ....Now if any child was exposed to anything it was less than anything they have seen on television or any magazine they can see at a grocery store check out line! Now for the mom who was highly offended ,, Her hubby was probably wishing he was with one of those well dressed lovely women!......Damd I cant wait till Disney Has a swingers pride day like they give all the flaming Homosexuals.... So we can Lead the Parade!
Same room only? - Our new approach - Actually, you're sort of lucky that people who wrote you back try to talk you into doing more at that early juncture instead of the all too common ploy where they think they can convince you to do more once you're all getting ready to play or actually playing.
It all comes down to a matter of respect and a lot of swingers, sadly, are just too concerned about their own desires and agenda and think they can persuade you to go beyond your rules and limits once you see how amazingly hot they are and realize how utterly lucky you are to be able to be with them at all. Yes, that last little part was sarcasm.
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