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Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - From one of those highspeed sons of bitches out there who make this all possible to you civilians who pay those damn taxes so I can have more fun than one man's lifetime can possibly bear... I miss way too much home time but when I'm home we make the absolute most of it!!! THANKS FOR THE RECOGNITION but we truely do it all for YOU!! Your 'not so local' Quiet Professional

Do your friends and family know about your lifestyle? - - I found this thread timely, as I just had my first "scare" with being found out by my snooping sister. Instead of typing in Myspace.com she decided to go to the history of our computer and came across Swingular. Curiousity won and she went there, where the opening page shouts "Swingers". She promptly came into the family room where the rest of the family was engaged in prebirthday celebrating and said "anything new?" staring right at me. I of course had NO clue what she meant, to which she proceeded to ask if we were swingers. The only thing that made everyone else in the room tune out is that she started ranting about how 'ever since she's moved she's out of the loop and all hell's broken loose... I sell sex toys, my brother drinks, my sister's stopped going to church (can I call her a self righteous bitch?) Probably good to note here that we all grew up Mormon and now four of the five kids have shaken off the brainwashing in adulthood... thankfully we all just ignored her and I made up some line about my girlfriend having me look up some guy she was dating and dropped it. I spent the rest of the day with my insides in a knot wondering just how much she saw... the saved usernames, did she enter the site and look around? Needless to say that night we removed our public photos and I was in a panic. By morning my panic had turned to rage. Why did I feel the need to run and hide, why should I need to defend myself?! My hubby and I have been married for going on 16 years, 7 of which have been spent in the lifestyle. We are the happiest we've ever been. Our vanilla friends, who have no clue that we practice sex as a team sport, all ask us what our secret to such a happy marriage is. They can see that we have something special. Needless to say, I put the pics back up on the profile the next day. Let 'em look for us. I love my life, I love the sex that is a big part of it, and I wouldn't change a thing. I'm still not standing up at family parties to announce my choices, but I wouldn't stand up and talk about my marital bed anyway. What I do naked is my business and my husbands, that's what counts. I'm proud to be in such a committed and honest relationship. They should all try it! Maybe they'd use less prozac and smile more often! Tricia btw, I feel grateful that I have 2 friends outside of the lifestyle that know what we do. They are valuable to me and prove that they are true friends leaving the rest as just 'people we know' Besides, having a wingman now and then is helpful! Thanks for sharing in my babble...

Wear your damn masks! - COVID-19 and your junk! - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]We can’t just wander around COSTCO not wearing a condom and give the people around us an STD. Yes as lifestyle people we are already somewhat predisposed to a somewhat riskier social life than what a lot of other people might find acceptable for themselves. With a virus that’s airborne it’s not that difficult to pass it along with out the consent or such close proximity a sex to those around us. Hence, the mask recommendations. Swingers that don’t understand respect an or consent, will tend create drama.[/quote] Amen. Particularly the last sentence in your opine.

How often do you think this happens - -

T4REAL69 & Crew,

It's a preference thing. You're in this to have fun, not do things that you don't like or disagree with. If you are upfront and honest with eachother in the beginning, you should be able to decide what works for you. I see that no one mentioned that some women are not in it for the "another man" experience. We have to remember that not all of us are in this for the same thing. If a guy gets excited about seeing his wife with another female and not another male, there is nothing worng with that. We all know what we like and don't like. However, if he's not going to be cool with MFM, then he should be ok with there not being any FMF, if the woman decides that the fairest route would be MFMF. We have decided that the latter works best for us. I have no particular interest in watching my wife with another guy while I pull my pud. She's not into the DP or having two guys at once, so that leave us with couples. There is no insecurity, because my wife is with another guy with a couple. It's more about equality and fairness. Couples that play together stay together. By that, when you make your decisions on what make you happy, make sure you are both happy with them.

-Don- P.S. BTW, I have a really good topic in the free thinkers forum that I would like the LDS Swingers members of the group to shed some light on. Hell any member for that matter. Just click the link at the bottom of this post. _{Proud member of "Free Thinkers"}

BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - Now this IS Terry. OMG, did I unleash a monster when I put a profile on Fetlife.com for her? Just kidding, she's an angel. Even if there might be just a touch of devil, or at least imp. Anyway, that didn't work out as well as hoped, like Evil said, most fetish groups don't swing, their events aren't usually about sex, just discussions, socializing, and demonstrations, with people doing scenes with the people they're already in a BDSM relationship with. And before someone asks me "well, why don't you just ...", it's simple. She's into some things I'm not and in that life, if you aren't really into something, even if you do know what to do and how to do it, you can't really be a very good Dom. Since the guy is supposed to make the girl happy, I did the Fetlife profile for her. The first thing a new person who's interested in some BDSM group will get told is "We don't swing", that he/she isn't going to be able to go to an event or even party and hook up with someone, that even if he/she gets invited to participate in someone's scene (it does happen occasionally) it isn't likely to culminate in actual sex. Which makes it difficult for someone who wants her BDSM to be part of actual sex. One thing though, Evil. The Fifty Shades of Gray phenomenon notwithstanding, BDSM is more secretive than swinging. Anyone who finds a swing event online can attend, unless he's a single male and it's a no single males thing. Not so with BDSM. Fetlife, for example, has more than one sub-group that sponsors events. You can find the events on the site, but you can't just go to them. You have to be sponsored by someone from that group. And not everyone in the group, people who themselves have been through the process and can attend the group's events without a sponsor, can even be a sponsor. There are always specific requirements and a process of some sort to go through to become approved to sponsor new people. There's still a stronger stigma attached to BDSM than there is to swinging, and the potential consequences to being outed are more severe, especially in a place like Utah. So the people are much more cautious than are swingers, and swingers don't exactly put up billboards ads on the highway. ~ Terry

asking your swinger friend if you can join them. - - "I am not in the lifestyle and don't think I ever really fully would be" "K USSIR your not a swinger but you wanna have sex with you friends wife with your friend there? HMMMMMMM I smell a swinger in the making" Naw, I smell a single guy who just wants to get laid. If you aren't really interested in swinging just leave it alone and get your jollies elsewhere. There are plenty of ways for you to get your rocks off in bars and clubs and on Craigslist. It's your VERY common SM attitude that makes it tough for the very few single guys who get it and really want to be part of the lifestyle. No wonder so many people constantly say that singles aren't really swingers. But don't worry. You aren't alone. We've met TONS of single dudes over the years who've admitted that they would NEVER allow their wife (if they ever got married) to fuck another man. Swinging is an attitude and a mindset. A guy who would let you fuck his wife is risking a lot and sharing with you the most important thing in his life. If you can't grasp that concept you should just stay home and jerk it to online porn.

The Black Ring - How to spot a swinger - LOL We've been doing this for a LONG time and it cracks us the fuck up to see these frequent "ways to tell if someone is a swinger". We've heard everything from a white rock in their front yard to an upside down pineapple in their grocery cart. Even stuff like wearing an ankle bracelet on a particular ankle or a single earring in a particular ear. Bottom line is, in this world of almost instantaneous and pervasive communication even if there WAS a ubiquitous symbol of swinging acceptance almost nobody would display it as they would quickly be outed to people they might not want to know about their little hobby. We've gone to conventions and hotel takeovers many times in the past and it usually took about a day for any vanillas nearby to learn what the wristbands mean and start gawking (or even trying to sneak in) and for the swingers to start hiding them under watches and bracelets or removing them entirely so as not to be identified. Another swingsite we're on even started a new smartphone app using GPS that alerts you if there is another swinger nearby. Almost nobody uses it in fear of somehow being ID'd as a swinger.

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Kristy, I'm literally "getting shit" with a Corona bottle. -D-

Explain why you like being a swinger - - This is what I think...The 2 leading causes of divorce are sex and money. I think if you can get your finances under control, and you are able to share your sexual hangups or fantasies together rather than having to hide them, there's nothing that you can't conquer together. I have never been closer to my wife, and wouldn't trade the relationship we have for anything. And we don't even call ourselves "swingers", but more like "trysexuals"...If you get it, you know what I mean. Wanna try it???

Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this. It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more. Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell. It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.) You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.) Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.