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Are you a Swinger or Liver? - - [quote=JULESVERNE]Would "Ethical Non Monogamy" sound better to you. What we are talking about here is leaving the external societal rules behind and doing what we feel good with, sometimes that means we set our own rules. I'm sure that you have your own rules too, of one sort or anther. The Reason we Swingers have rules is that we enter this lifestyle with our own needs and wants and the needs and wants of our mates. We need to balance both while rejecting the conventional norm. Our sex life is like something out of an erotic novel that most people can't imagine is real, but we love it, rules and all.[/quote]
What they said.
Swingers allow many people, singles and couples to play as they choose with that those that want to swing, play or whatever they agree on.
Private Pics and Someone Likes You - what is the purpose. - This is a good topic and I have a few words to go with what has been said so far. For the most part, when the private pics was invented on this site (way back in early 2000), we wanted an easy way for people to add others so they could view them. Because we don't have a 'favorites' feature, people started using the 'add to friends' as a way to 'bookmark' who they thought were possibilities, etc... Thus people getting tons of 'Someone Likes You' messages without further response. I've done it plenty of times especially to build up a list of people I 'Liked' just from what I saw or read so if we ever had a private party, we could invite.
Now, after personally realizing that this did not work the way I WANTED it to work and that they were actually two different functions, we've decided to create a new feature called 'Favorites.' Its basically a personal tagging system so you can tag who you think is 'hot' and who you may want to contact in the future. This allows you to keep two separate lists. One for actual friends, another for favorites. Also, because we have the custom photo albums now, you can choose to put your more risque stuff in an even more private folder and selectively add who you wish to view them. THIS IS AVAILABLE NOW. Just go to your photo albums page and click the CREATE NEW ALBUM link.
So for those of you who are wondering why you get so many 'Someone Likes You' emails, it's not the fault of the person sending it but rather a missing function on the site. For those of you who get an additional email because you didn't reciprocate, don't look at it right off the bat that these are picture collectors, because there are a ton of people who are real swingers that know they can't hook up with someone '5' states away but can still make a friend and get their jollies from just chatting online and seeing pictures of each other. Who knows, maybe one day that trip will be worth it. With that said, I'm not saying how they approach you is right, no one should be mad or beg to see your private pics just because they allowed you to. I probably wouldn't want to respond back to someone like that either. So hopefully by adding a 'favorites' feature will help reduce some of that.
Oh, I think someone mentioned something about the 'send a kiss' feature missing from Swingular as well. That used to be a feature here but it became a very hot topic just like this one and more members thought it was annoying than useful as they also got tons of kiss emails with no further response. So we removed it.
Too Many Fake People Here - Nobody really wants to fuck! - [quote=FIT_N_FUN][quote=TIFFND][quote=FIT_N_FUN]It's important to remember that you're swimming in a very shallow pond here. There aren't many actual members on this site. It's like growing up in a very rural area where K-12 is all housed in one building. By the time you graduate, you've pretty much fucked everyone that was willing to fuck you.
The actual numbers in your area (meaning REAL people behind the profile) do not support a robust lifestyle community. It's a bit like going to a carnival with only two rides. One you've ridden them, there's nothing left to do. [/quote] You make a good point, but the pond here is pretty deep! LOL Just done a quick search, and the their are well over 4,000 profiles listed within 11 miles of my house. And that does not include some very large areas north and south of us. I realize many are fake, inactive, etc...but should still be a fair number of them active![/quote]
Not a fucking chance. That is ALL bullshit. We lived in Draper for years and we're very familiar with the puddle of ACTUAL members in your area. If you have 4000 profiles just in your area, one of the least populated states in the country, this site would be exploding with activity. It's not. Nationwide, this site rarely shows more than 1650 people online at any given time. In the entire country.
Swingular has a bot program that constantly generates fake profiles all day, every day. They're pretty easy to spot. This site is only relevant along I-15 between Ogden and Spanish Fork, with a few stragglers in the region as far as ID, WY and NV. Swingular also activates dead profiles and allows them to show as "being online" when they aren't. The whole thing is a farce. [/quote]
We've been on Swingular since it was a beta. There ARE a LOT of swingers (of varying activity levels) in Utah...probably due to the repressive nature of the local religion as much as anything. We've been active in the swinging community for 30 years here and in a number of different states and can attest to the fact that, per capita, Utah has a comparatively large, active and vibrant swing scene. We've personally met (but not necessarily played with) hundreds of different couples and we're really not all that active as far as attending parties or going to meet and greets or even meeting people thru the site. I don't know for certain if Swingular has "bots" but I'm fairly certain that if it did it would be quite easy to tell by seeing replicated photos, etc. It's easy to reverse Google a photo on Swingular and see if it's a stock photo or taken from another site. If there is another way that you're able to "spot" fake/generated profiles please enlighten the rest of us so that we can see your proof.
Single Males - Question - As aggravating as it sometimes is, we don't do the block single males option because one of the first swingers we ever had contact with was, and still is, a single guy. On another site we were on we blocked single guys and never heard from our friend, even though we sent him messages from time to time. We finally got an email at our regular mail telling us he couldn't respond to our messages because we had blocked not just the cold messages from unknown guys, but even replies to our own messages. So, if you ever decide to contact that single guy that catches your eye, make sure you unblock or you will never get a reply.
Utah moms (Mormon) TikTok drama - - I don't know who that person is but I do know that swingers will ways throw others under the bus. It's happened to me several times mostly to get with the female I was with. Men will tattle on each other in hopes that the female will leave and run to him which never did work. Nonetheless the attempt was there. They ways tell and swingers always talk. Yet this entire time I've kept so many secrets about others and never will reveal anything. Too bad no one else does. I've been around for a long time in the lifestyle especially when I was a couple. We knew about marriages breaking up. Two of who I know personally. Actually three now that I think about it. I'll never name anyone. All I ask is the same respect and keep it to yourself.
Young Swingers Myspace Swinger Party@Club Hedonism - - hey pat so whats up i wasn't invited well damn, by the way i couldnt find the site either oh well guess i will have to have my own all ladies party huh ps. we wont be going to this under 35 party and theres alot more of our friends that feel the same
Club sceen question. - I need some advice on what is appropiate - chances are if you are going to a swingers club thats what one would be there for. Sometimes I just dance and chill, but thats only when the people don't turn me on. Every time I go to the Red Rooster I just danced lol....
KSL Sucks - 3 posted comments deleted by editors of forums - Seems to me that they were expected to be open and accepting of this lifestyle choice.
Yet, you'd be utterly amazed at the number of "swingers" who proclaim that they are open-minded, and yet attack the lifestyle choices of others in this very lifestyle... Just read the forums.
You expected KSL's viewers to be any different?
Friends or swinging partner - - That's not really an easy question to answer. We've met a bunch of couples just once. We generally don't hop into bed on the first date, but it does happen. I think there have been couples that we've hopped into bed with that we might not see in other than swinger settings, but we definitely have friends we swing with that we would and do. There are swinger couples we'd really like to spend vanilla time with but just haven't had the time. Candycanepa is right in that this is a swingers site for swinging friends, so the intent is to find friends to hop into bed with. We're a super busy couple. He travels 4-5 days a week and, like a lot of you, we have kids at home. That makes it tough to have time to really have close friends, swinger or vanilla.
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? -
Don said...
We view the lifestyle as a multifaceted creature. The sex part being a benefit. In order for a person to want to have sex, they have to be attracted to the other person in some way shape or form.
For some, age is an issue. Should we fault them?? I think not. Just as we've discussed in other threads about D&D, Smoking, Sexual Practices etc. The list is long. I think this has to do with preference. Are some people picky yes. Don't let their decision hamper your good time. There are many couples that this is an issue. Most people's taste doesn't change because someone complains. I say move on.
We don't have an issue with age so much as we do attitude and personality. As some of you well know, I (Don) am very opinionated and love to say what's on my mind. Some don't like that. Some thing I am a prick. For those of you that think that...
Anyway, as we say in the Army, suck up and drive on. Don't let rejections rule your outlook, let your successes. Good luck.
