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Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - I am certain that insecurity has no bearing on the decisions that we make in regard to the lifestyle. What you are suggesting simply isnt for us. We take so much from being in close proximity to each other during our encounters that it would render the experience...perhaps ackward or fruitless, for lack of a better term.
There is a reason that so many couples run from the possibility of what you call \"full swap\". Many years ago when we were first introduced to the lifestyle, \"full swap\" entailed having sexual intercourse with another couple. \"Soft swap\" meant oral play or touching only, no intercourse. Perhaps the deffinition has changed over the years...
I am certain that what you are describing is closer to what traditional polyamory is all about. In fact, there is a reason why the couples that you approach about this subject \"run like the wind\" as you call it. More times than not, it has proven to be destructive to the relationships in question. Best intentions or not, we are all human. Shit happens. Most seasoned swingers know this, and avoid this situation at all costs.
Most of the relationships that we have seen over the years that were as you describe ended in ruin. Most of the people that we have known to consider this method were (coincidentally) new swingers, who had not yet developed a sense of direction or an identity in the lifestyle. There are some mistakes that you can make in the lifestlye without jeopadizing your standing with your mate. There are some that you simply can not. What you are suggesting to other couples, while it may seem like something that would be fun and cool, has proven to be atleast problematic to many other people.
Just our .02 cents.
Best of luck to you both.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:D
Swingers of Color - - We are hispanic.
Is anybody on this site for fucking real or just a bunch of tease - - [quote=Nitrohawk1]I have come down to the conclusion that single males here are not really wanted, 90% of the couples are looking for for unicorns which to me seems pretty biased. Not to mention the couples I have talked to flaked and others just treat me like crap. If I have sent anyone near me a friend request and you didn't want it just ignore it like I normally send in a message.[/quote]
Single males are very wanted here, in the right circles. But they should only EVER be reaching out when someone is posting up looking for that. Any other time will come off as pushy or entitled.
Yes, a very high percentage of swingers in Utah joined swingular with the unicorn in mind. Over time through meeting and parties they find some amazing couple friends and do move into swapping once in a while. That’s their niche, not sure how you view it as biased. Utah has always been very suppressed with bi-sexuality and the ladies have gotten to a point in their lives they want to explore that.
Your profile is NOT a single guy, it’s guy with a pass. For us personally that is the lowest on our list we would ever look for. It raises so many questions - does she really allow it? If so why? Is it so bad she would rather you go out and play? What is she doing while your out prowling? Not judging you, but this is what most think looking at the profile. You need to search out parties and meets single guys are allowed to hit and start meeting people in person. If your honest playing won’t be an issue.
There is a huge learning curve from deciding to swing and actually playing. Using swingular as a dating medium to meet other couples is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. Some tips, make sure you both have K!k and make sure they do too. Let the wives setup the meeting. Beware anyone sending friends requests blindly. Beware people sending friends requests that have no private picts. With the feet draggers that always have something planned, just move on. If they are honestly just busy they will message when they have time.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Mouthy prick or not Don, (which is exactly why I luv ya!) it's still a really nasty thing to say.
Mother spirit? Hmmm... You have been rather naughty lately.. Maybe I should get out my belt and spank you! All in a "motherly spirit" of course!
;)
Invatation to swingers. - open letter against Dr. Phil - At least Dr. Phil only says it's wrong. Dr Laura would call you a slut and a whore and say you were going to hell. They're all a bunch of tight ass, bastards who have no idea what the lifestyle is all about and who spend all there time and make a pile of money telling other people how to run their lives. Fuck them all. ( I bet Dr. Laura gives great head after she's had a drink or two)
C- A - Any swingers clubs around Salt lake? - Could be fun, I’m new to this tho
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - We have been in the lifestyle for a few years and have had the pleasure to play with single men alone and in party situations. Occasionally there is a man who turns things into a "sausage fest". Meaning; we have seen married men pushed from the fray by single men, and the women being overwhelmed by uneven numbers. We have also had the pleasure (and I mean that literally) of playing with very respectful single men. I hate the fact that for some one bad apple... unfortunately that is kinda how it is among human beings. Sadly the majority of our experiances have not been really positive. There is the risk of attachment (been there, not good) We like the even numbers, in a house party situation but if what we are looking for is a threesome... Bring it on! By the way The name has nothing to do with it for us, I mean we are dodge! lol
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - mmmm.... those of you who know us know we are generous to those in the life style wether we play or have played or not... you'd have to catch sara or i at work...(like we work).. we do keep our personal life from the girls at work... for personal and professional reasons.....we are usually in from 9-3 for sara and im usually at work fron 8 am till 6 or 7pm...
Tips for the single fuys2 - - There are douche bag singles and there are douche bag couples. I personally think people attack what they are afraid of. When we were new in the lifestyle I didn't see the purpose of SM. I thought they were all creepy, dirty, and should be banned from this Swingers site. As we grew in ourselves within this lifestyle that actually seemed to change. We find if much easier to find singles (at least SM) to play with rather then try and find 4 people that everyone meshes. We actually meet up and end up playing with SM much more then anything these days.
With that said the beginning of this thread is dead on. If your profile looks like all you care about is the size of your penis, and what you think you can do with it, you won't get a second glance from us. We look for SM that present themselves well, can hold a normal conversation and not creep us out.
Somebody already said this - Need to know where to go since Habits closed - [quote=HFUN]hey club 90 has had its share of swinger partys and no one knew it was a swinger party except the swingers who were meeting and its just a block away from sandy station..so..[/quote]
Yep! We go to Club 90 a lot and have enjoyed our time there. Have been to plenty of meet and greets. Been going there for 10 years.:)
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