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Willis Swingers in Texas

Willis Swingers

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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Ideas on Swingers Car Rally..... - Ideas on Swingers Car Rally..... - sounds fun...If only we had something to show off...LOL

We thought this was educational and should explain a lot about s - keep an open mind. Swingers are spiders. Each to their own unique ways! - Didn't have my speakers on and I admit I only watched a couple of snippets. Is it a video about molesting spiders with a Q-tip? Cuz we're all over doing kinky shit to animals and stuff. [em]Emo_84[/em]

KSL swing story - - The story was terribley produced. Little to no research. As I said in the thread leading up to KSL being at the Club 90 party, they decided what story they were going to write before they even put pen to paper, and they were not going to let the truth get in the way of their story. I particularily liked the way it played women to be victims in the Lifestyle, especially when everyone knows it is women that really run the show and have the biggest say-so in who a couple plays with. Also, in surveys of swingers when asked "Who's idea was it to start swinging?" 34% of the time it was the wife that first brought it up. Sure, men still accounted for 54% of the survey (the rest couldn't remember who's idea it was originally), but it's not the men wanting sex with other women and drawing their poor defenseless wife into the lurid underground world of wife swapping to do it. Hell, anyone who's been around it for a while knows it's more "husband swapping" anyway. :p I've been following the comments on KSL's website, and these people have no life. They wait to watch the news every night and then add their two cents to every subject. None of them have any idea what they are talking about. As Ozzie Guillen says about arm chair coaches and sportscasters "the farther you sit from the plate the smarter you think you are." LMAO But all the comments are along the same lines, the evil cheating husband luring his innocent, unsuspecting wife into the seedy underworld. Then you get the fake profile they put up and within "six days, 70 married men, most from Utah, ask to start a fling." LMAO Damn, how many couples get emails every day from "free member" married men looking to cheat? We get at least one a day. The same old story over and over: Married Mormon family man who says "I love my wife but she doesn't like sex". These people need to look within themselves. We're not the problem, they are. Plus, most of us won't play with cheaters and after a time we've become very adept at sniffing them out. My wife gets at least one married Mormon man a day sending her an IM on her personal Yahoo! Messenger ID, and they find her in the Yahoo! directory (not Yahoo! Personals, the directory). They just go through looking for women online to contact. They don't know she is a swinger. Her Yahoo! profile is innocent as can be. If they are going to cheat they will find a way, with or without swingers. Wow... I'd love to say this on KSL's site, but like fun4usxx said, it will just add fuel to the fire and you can't win. You can't fix stupid. Mr. Caress4u

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - I'm guessing whether you think things are dying out, is a matter of peperspective. If you have a certain kind of couple you are looking for and want to meet someone new every weekend, I'm guessing the well will run dry quickly. We have very little time, so even meeting a few people here and there can be tough to schedule. I see events, parties and booty calls listed all the time...add in the messages, friend requests (which are usually useless), and new people joining (whom you can choose to say hi to or not), and honestly, I'm not sure how anyone has time for it all to the point of saying the swing scene is dying. Guess we're just too new to remember the good old days. But as far as we can tell, there are a lot of nice, fun people to get to know...and simply not enough time to.

Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I personally think we should all get tattoos. I do think the commercial with sling and swingers could be good way to test Waters. Use it as reference for a joke.

Just for kicks & giggles - Ginger or Maryann? - hmmmm....seeing how that we are swingers..we will take both thanks!!! fff= ginger+mrs. waterdiver+maryann = fmf for mr. waterdiver as well:D

fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - We are in as coupleplay78

Another Swingers Show on TV - - I am so sad I missed it! I was at a swinger party... dang! But then again I was getting done (for my first time) by a woman with a strap on. Oh well next episode.

Tired of Politics and Religion! - - I humbly suggest that you folks get a grip! I believe this site is a national site? Do you hear the rest of the nation bitching when the forum turns into a Utah date-a-thon every Thursday through Saturday? Personally, it doesn't do a whole hell of a lot for me! Therefore, I should suggest you all knock it off? If all you care to converse about 24/7 is sex, maybe it would be a good idea to find additional outlets for your narrowly focused world! The popularity of some of the current threads would indicate to me that some swingers are able to discuss real life situations as well. Politics and religion are hot button topics and elicit strong emotions. Name-calling is likely to be a result. Solution - DON"T READ non-sex related threads. I don't happen to like name-calling, so I'm usually able to resist the temptation. But, the narrow-minded responses on this thread so far have me working on a few. :) Dale

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