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Club 90 party - - We've deleted all our public pics from our profile on this and other sites. It is the only safe thing to do.
After working in the advertising and public relations field for many years I can unequivocally tell you that KSL has already determined the story they are going to write, and they are only going to the party to find supporting evidence of it. It doesn't matter what you say, they will edit out what doesn't fit the outline for the story that was agreed upon in a programing meeting and keep the stuff that does. Ever heard someone say "that's not what I said, they took my comment out of context!"
What story is this?
Sex and Wife Swapping in Your Neighborhood!
Wife Swapping... What About the Children!
Swingers... They Could Be Your Neighbor
And I could go on and on with possible headlines.
Never have I seen any positive spin put on the Lifestyle by the media. Sex and scandal makes ratings with produces ad dollars. And this fulfills both criteria in one story. Do a Google News search on swingers and see how many positive stories you come up with. I guarantee it will be 99% negative.
KSL isn't going to tell a story of how swinging can bring a couple closer and strengthen an already good relationship. They aren't going to show how 79% of swingers report their marriage as "very happy" as opposed to 64% of the general societal survey (GSS), or that only 1.7% of swingers report their marriage/relationship to have become "less happy" after starting to swing. Or that 57% of swingers list marriage as "very important" in their life as compared to 51% of the GSS. They are not going to show that swingers are slightly more likely to be part of a religious organization the the GSS (72% compared to 61%).
These are not facts that will support the sensationalist story they want to produce. They want to show wild sex orgies and broken marriages.
It doesn't matter if they agree not to show faces or not (they won't due to legal ramifications). Like xxxtasy and others have mentioned it will cause a huge spike in traffic to this and other swinger related websites by every "concerned" (read: nosey) Utahn scouring the sites for a neighbor like they're searching a sex offenders database. I guarantee there will be a spike in free members for a month or so after the segment airs. The women will want something to gossip about at relief society and the men will want to know who to hit on in their neighborhood in the chance they'll get lucky because you know... their wife isn't a freak like that and since you're a swinger you'll do anyone, anytime right? Just like in the porn movies?
And the club? Club 90 is only a "swingers club" once or twice a month. People who go there during the other 29 days in the month will recognize the decor and will be "scouting" from now on. You'll have every guy looking to get lucky going to Club 90 in the off-chance he'll meet a swinger.
I'd recommend being on your best behavior if you do attend the party. They think they are going to see flesh and dirty dancing. They need to see that these parties are not that, but just like going to any club on any given night; the difference being nobody's getting in a fight because someone looked at someone else's significant other.:p
Messages - why don't people want to message back - [quote=Sm435]
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better.
Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead.
Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.[/quote]
Well said. We just quoted the parts we completely agree with. You should remember that once you find a good group of FWB - you are less inclined to follow up on every offer. This is more a time management issue than a rejection. Hopefully people will still be responsive.
The only emails we don’t respond to are blind friend requests .... especially from people with no profile pics. Sorry - we won’t respond to blind requests. If you are interested - send a thoughtful message - if you are not, simply say so. We think that is good form.
Good luck - it’s wonderful when it works. We have been extremely lucky in finding some lifetime great friends. We’ve only had one couple we played with who ghosted us - we’ll never understand that - but it happens. That’s on them, not us. We feel like what comes around goes around. Wouldn’t change anything about our LS experience though - we feel blessed to have expanded our circle of friends to FWB. Lucky, lucky, lucky us!! May you all have similar luck!
Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - Very good article, thanks for sharing!
RECOGNIZING OTHER SWINGERS - Outside of clubs & parties. - The wrist bands are for swingers at resorts and parties to know what each person or couple is into at a glance.. They use to do it at HEDO and I've heard of a few cruises that did it as well... We have talked about doing this for parties at a nudist resort so all swingers will know who the other swingers are. Some nudists get pissed if you chat swing with them...
I have googled it and see it both ways... I have also heard that LOWES and DEPOT sell flags with Pineapples on them and some swingers use these as markers for house parties....
I somehow, cannot see walking up to someone at the grocery store and asking if they swing!! The pineapple I think is a very good idea...
Swingers of Color - - We have found lots of couples of other races in our experience.
When You're Shopping the Scene... - - [quote=SECRETCOUPLE801]We wear black rings on our right hands.[/quote]
You also have face pics where the general public can see them so you're likely in the minority who don't really care all that much if friends or family find out that your hobby is fucking other people that you aren't married to. Good for you. I think a lot of us secretly wish we could be out and proud but the brutal truth is that here in good ole Utahr it could easily be professional and social suicide to be outed as swingers. [em]Emo_79[/em]
Hot Wife Anklets - Who knows what they are and notices them? - I think they're mostly an urban legend, at least as far as the myth of a woman who wears an anklet being into that particular sexual act. Yes, women in the "hotwife" lifestyle sometimes wear them. But so do other women of all ages and persuasions.
Personally, I wouldn't make any assumptions about a woman's sexual proclivities based on a particular piece of jewelry that she is or isn't wearing. I even had a neighbor once who I noticed wearing an anklet that actually SAID "Hotwife" on it. I guarantee that the only connotation it had for her was that she was a wife and her husband thought she was hot.
But if you enjoy wearing them, knock yourself out. Just don't assume all, or even many, of the people you encounter (outside of a swingers party) will know the implication. And fwiw I've seen more than one tween wearing them at the mall. So there's that....
3some - Tips - Have you searched 'unicorn swingers'? That's what we're called. Single women who are swingers.
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - T4REAL69 is right on target in giving the current meaning of the term "swinger". SWMTCPL you used two little words in your original post that opened this thread, "to us". Those two little words accommodate for a lot of variation in this lifestyle. When you say "to us" you are telling everyone how you fit in the big picture of what the swinger lifestyle is. If you read another persons profile or listen to what the have to say as to what their desires and interest are, you know what this lifestyle means to them. If we are open minded enough to understand this, and don't try to force our beliefs on others, who have view's that differ from ours, we are genuine swingers. The most basic rule in swinging is NO MEANS NO. If you are confronted by someone who does not suit your desires, be it because of their looks, gender or the activity, you can always say NO, and go your own way in this lifestyle.
Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - Oleman,
I'm going to disagree with you.
I speed now and then. I don't always wear my seatbelt (law here). I might even steal a grape from the supermarket when doing my grocery shopping.
But when it comes to other people, respecting them, respecting their boundaries, I am very attentive to the rules, spoken and unspoken.
I have been violated. I would never turn around and treat another in a way that I know is harmful or degrading.
I would think it is very reasonable to assume that people act like decent human beings. Swingers or not..
Ali
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